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Popheads Album of the Year 2020 #11: Allie X - Cape God

Artist: Allie X
Album: Cape God
Tracklist and Lyrics: Here
Release Date: February 21, 2020
Label: Twin Music
Listen: Spotify / Apple / YouTube / Tidal
popheads [Fresh] Thread: Here
For those reading, I'm Brent, and this is my first Popheads AOTY writeup! Honored to be here – especially for such a stellar album. Enjoy!
Alexandra Ashley Hughes, now known as Allie X, is a Canadian pop princess and unabashed Leo. Although she’s released several projects in the early stages of her career, the artist that we know and love has officially released 5 EPs and now, 2 studio albums.
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Her first rise to notoriety as Allie X was the release of her 2014 hit song, “Catch.” Having received praise from critics and pop stars like Katy Perry alike, the first debut extended play, CollXtion I, was highly anticipated and it did not disappoint. Described best as danceable synth-pop with thoughtful lyrics and subtle emotions, Allie X hit the scene with a gentle, yet impactful, bang.
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Between writing her own music, she’s also co-written for artists like Betty Who, Leland, and her good friend, Troye Sivan. In 2017, her debut album, CollXtion II, was 10 succinct, catchy songs that further solidified her as an artist. Prior to the albums released, CollXtion: Ʉnsolved, was a project that allowed Allie X to release demos of songs for her fans to hear and help decide what sounds and songs would end up on the final album. Along with the album's release, gifs, videos, stems, and even a telephone number were promoted as a way to create a more immersive experience. “Old Habits Die Hard,” “All The Rage,” and “Paper Love,” were the standout tracks on this album as it explored the themes of loss and isolation.
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Quickly following up her debut album, Allie X rolled out songs for her 4th EP, Super Sunset. This EP was experimental and differed from her previous works. Although 8 songs in length, it was really 6 main songs that held comprised the project. Singing from the perspective of three different personas, the “Sci-Fi Girl,” the “Hollywood Starlet,” and the “Nun,” each representing an exaggerated, alienesque version of herself, a delusional embodiment of show biz desperation, and the purity of being an artist, respectively. Rather than releasing all the songs at once, she released a song every few weeks so they got their time to shine. Although speaking through the lens of a character, these songs are perhaps the most vulnerable out of her body of work up until her latest creation.
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While constantly pushing herself as an artist, X-pressing and X-ploring what “X” means to her and her music, Allie X has continued to put out a solid body of work. Although not necessarily a household name compared to other artists, her artistry is unmatched. Maintaining a combination of quality pop music, thoughtful lyrics, and experimental visuals, there’s a shape-shifting quality about Allie X that always leaves us wanting more.
Let me just get this out of the way really quick… CAPE GOD IS AN INCREDIBLE FUCKING ALBUM, HOLY SHIT. Okay, moving on.
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Inspired by the 2015 HBO Documentary, “Heroin: Cape Cod, USA,” a documentary that follows 8 young adults and their journey through addiction, rehab, and struggles with using heroin in the otherwise picturesque, sunny summer vacation spot of Cape Cod, Massachusetts. Although never having done heroin herself, Allie X could relate to the feeling of suffering and being out of place when everything on the surface seems like it would be ideal from the outside perspective.
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While starting her writing as coming from the perspective of one of the documentary’s eight focuses, it becomes clearer and clearer that her writing wasn’t just from another persona, these were her stories. She worked on the album primarily with Swedish songwriteproducer Oscar Görres and songwriter James Alan Ghaleb. Working primarily with these two seemed to really help bring Allie X's vision to life. All in all, Cape God is the clearest, most honest, introspective look into Allie X's viewpoint that we have ever heard.
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Fresh Laundry
You said you're always on my side
But what if my side has lived too long?
Something has to die
Who am I?
Fresh Laundry was written on the first day of her time in Stockholm, where she wrote a handful of Cape God's tracks. Reminiscing on the days when her mother used to do laundry and the smell of a detergent’s fresh scent, Allie X longs for something that she cannot have. Whether it’s something as literal as fresh laundry or something more abstract like the feeling of acceptance and belonging, she yearns for it. Sonically, it starts with a simple beat and airy vocals but then builds up slowly but steadily. The sudden “No!” and choppy synths following after is such an intentional decision that really showcases her internal conflicts as a sort of call and response. Although a bit of a weird song on its own, it really displays Allie X’s talent of being able to express her thought in such an oddly specific manner that makes sense. It's a great album opener because it set the tone for the album's darker, more serious elements.
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Devil I Know
I could scream, “Somebody help me out”
But the wicked one is me
The lead single of the album, “Devil I Know,” is a self-reflective look at destructive behaviors. With a plucky guitar line, it immediately draws you in. But then, in the first chorus, we get those vocals that harken back to the CollXtion days – strong and full-voiced. It’s a snarky, moody track all about how the decisions and things that you’re doing are so toxic but no one is making you do it, it’s self-sabotage. At the end of the song, it builds to a full crescendo of drums, snaps, guitar, and belting vocals. In a way, the lyrics, “You are the devil I know,” can also be heard as a conversation between Allie saying, “You are the devil,” and then her inner-self replying, “I know,” as an acknowledgment to the harm she’s causing herself. As the lead single, it was a good choice because it’s similar to previous songs like, “Bitch,” and “Not So Bad In LA,” but it still pushes her sound forward.
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Regulars
Oh, what a feeling
Hanging off a building with the regulars
Perhaps the song that carries the overarching theme of Cape God the best is “Regulars,” in the way that it perfectly grasps the feeling of being an outsider – which ultimately is the message found in multiple tracks on the album. Similar to “Devil I know,” “Regulars,” has a main riff that carries throughout the track, but, this time, it’s the bass. Singing on this track, Allie X is a bit more cynical and playful with the feeling of being on the outs with the “in crowd.” Sure, you could be cool, popular, and work a 9-5 like anybody else in the world be considered normal but dear god, how fucking boring. Growing up, most kids want to feel like they belong with everyone else but in “Regulars,” it’s Allie X’s way of acknowledging that feeling and then accepting that it’s okay NOT to be that way. She alludes to the fact that she could be hanging off the side of the building with her life in danger but she's with the popular kids so who cares?! The high-pitched “Ah-Ha’s” around the chorus are ambiguous as to whether they’re screams, cries, or laughs about this feeling but honestly, they’re all applicable.
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Sarah Come Home
I know you've got places that you run away to
Leave little traces so I can find you
A dance-y, uplifting song, “Sarah Come Home,” is a warm embrace in Cape God. In a post on Instagram, Allie X explains that the song was sparked after songwriter Sarah Hudson wasn’t able to make a writing session. Then, the production was formed when producer Leroy “Big Taste” Clampitt didn’t have his laptop so they created a sound based around whistles and standard musical beats – which was later mixed into what we hear now. The whistles also work well as a throwback to "Paper Love," from her earlier works. Continuing the theme of not feeling a sense of belonging, “Sarah Come Home,” isn’t literally about anyone named Sarah being called home. Sarah is just the placeholder for anyone who feels a bit lost and is being drawn into a place of love and caring. In some senses, Allie X can be seen as Sarah, but I like to think she’s the one harkening her fans to a place of security and happiness in Cape God.
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Rings A Bell
Could swear that we've been here before
'Cause in your arms, I feel so sure
“Rings A Bell,” is so funky compared to the other songs on this album. Between the groovy baseline and chiming of the bells, it’s like this song comes from another decade. Also, the bassline that's heard in the chorus of this song reminds me of the bass in Tame Impala's "The Less I Know The Better." This song is so lovely in its lyrics too. Exploring the déjà vu feeling that you’ve been somewhere before or that you’ve known a person for years even though you just met. It’s definitely one of the most sensual and direct songs on the album about the way love can make you feel. The cool thing about this song and the feeling it’s trying to portray is in the fact that it does sound like it’s a song straight from the ’80s and as if you may have heard it before in a John Hughes movie.
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June Gloom
June Gloom
What a beautiful sadness
In a Reddit AMA before the launch of the album, and then later on Instagram, Allie X opened up about how she was diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease at the age of 12. This diagnosis lead to years of being in pain, endless amounts of doctor’s appointments, hiding what she went through, and ultimately, missing out on pivotal moments of adolescent experiences because of it. “June Gloom,” is an ode to those moments. While she was stuck inside on a summer day, she watched all the cool kids hanging out and driving around. Not only having to watch kids do stuff without her, but she was also stuck thinking about what they were doing while out of sight. Theme parks? Sports events? What are they all doing for fun? In hindsight, she’s able to poke fun at it while accepting her past for what it was, but not without stating how she actually felt about being the Rapunzel of her neighborhood. A completely unintended aspect of this song is how well it coincided with the COVID-19 pandemic. While the world was experiencing “the big decay,” we were stuck inside with free time for memories of places we’d never be and people we’d never see. What a beautiful sadness.
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Love Me Wrong
I'll never be how you remember me
So I'd rather be in your memory
The first of two collaborations of this album, Allie X and Troye Sivan singing together has been long-awaited. Inspired by Troye’s supporting role in the 2018 movie, Boy Erased, “Love Me Wrong,” is about familial love. While love between two individuals romantically is often sung about, the love between parent and child is not addressed as often but is usually more complex. Even if the parent is well-intentioned, the child can be so misunderstood. Especially in adolescence, this feeling is so prevalent that you’re not being heard or given love in a useful way. In the song, the instrumental is pretty paired back with mostly just a guitar throughout. Troye and Allie’s voices compliment each other so well; it’s a mystery why they haven’t collaborated sooner. The ending chorus is beautiful with the way both of their voices soar over one another and the distorted guitar riffs. At the end of the song, it's sort of a somber realization that you sometimes have to mold to the way your family sees you for the sake of ease rather than comfort.
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Super Duper Party People
Don't stop the music
I don't wanna lose it
My mind's polluted
All I've got is the music
In a complete 180 from the prior track, “Super Duper Party People” is so much fun. Sparked from a song name idea by her boyfriend and then later fleshed out in Denmark and Sweden, this song is a ray of light in Cape God. If you’re not automatically picturing a smoky dive bar with flashy lighting and some oddballs sitting at the bar at 2am after you and your friends just did some questionable Fireball shots, I don’t know what life you’ve lived. Despite another song with this title, “Super Duper Party People,” is the life of the party. Rather than singing the verse, it’s a “rap” of Allie X documenting her night while the synth-pop production helps build the landscape. It’s definitely one of the “busier” sounding songs on the album but it works incredibly well. I don't know how anyone can listen to this song without dancing.
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Susie Save Your Love
Susie needs a ride
She's way too drunk to drive
But, oh, she's such a sight to see
Oh Susie, the unrequited love. To be in love with a friend who loves a douchebag… big oof. It’s such a classic, relatable tale. Then, for Allie X and Mitski being the narrators of this story? (gay screaming). Mitski is another artist who, like Allie X, has been critically acclaimed but bubbles under the general public’s eye. This long-awaited collaboration is so fun, lighthearted, and sweet. Much like, “Rings A Bell,” it feels like it could be in a coming of age movie from the 80s. The soft, flowing vocals from these two singers meld into one voice at times. Listening to this song is like a hug on a crisp summer night after staying out a little too late with your friends. The guitar riffs through the end of the song with the begging for Susie to save her love calls for a classic two-step dance move and a snap of the fingers. This song has me shipping Alliski/Mitski X harder than ever before.
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Life of the Party
They say I kissed the king
But I don't remember anything
FINALLY. My favorite song on the album and honestly my favorite Allie X song ever! It’s so punchy, dark, and serves as the best example of a clever double-entendre in pop music. Upon first listening, I – a self-absorbed Leo – thought this was the perfect song about being the center of attention on a drunken escapade. It wasn’t until a few close listening sessions later that it fucking CLICKED. Smack dab on my equally large forehead: the double meaning of the song. Sure, on its surface, it’s exactly what the title says, but, it’s really serving as a metaphor for something much darker. In pop music, discussing traumatic experiences like assault isn’t something typically done on non-ballads. However, Allie X found a way to do it. Starting the verses with the same phrase and then adding, “Did I say that part already?” on the second verse is so perfect to subtly imply the state of the narrator. Then, the entire alluding of being poked and prodded like a toy for onlookers to take advantage of while she is unconscious is brilliant songwriting but horribly dark in reality. The blurring of “I was the life” during the post-choruses is so genius and also serves as a way of coping with a horrific memory by forcing a more positive narrative upon yourself.
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Madame X
Hit me like a wave and let me be reborn
Fill me like a vase and let the water pour
Throwing it back to the album inspiration, “Heroin: Cape Cod, USA,” this song is all about finding solace in your drug of choice. Written with fellow Canadian songwriter, Simon Wilcox, “Madame X,” is such a tender song. With a haunting string arrangement, piano, and airy vocals, it’s truly the song you’d hear while sitting in the rain on a dark, lonely night at the cape. While Madame X is a nickname for heroin, it could really symbolize anything, similar to the X in Allie X’s name – it’s the infinite possibilities, the unknown. Sure, the inspiration for the song is what it is, but "Madame X" applies to a toxic relationship, alcohol, pain pills, or really anything else harmful that gives you a fleeting sense of comfort. “Madame X” is also successful in the way of showing her vocals in such a beautiful, soft, and gentle manner. Something perhaps unintended is the way that this song feels like it could 100% be from a James Bond film and I would love to see someone as unique and lovely as Allie X be a Bond girl.
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Learning in Public
We're too young 'til we're too old for it
This is somewhere 'til it's nowhere at
All in all in all, it's just a memory
Perhaps the most “current state of mind” as far as these song perspectives go, “Learning in Public,” is Allie X’s reflection on life as a whole. As a person who expresses herself through music and is a celebrity as result, life lessons are learned quite publically for better or worse. This song reminds me of the feeling you get when you have a read out loud in a classroom. Sure, everyone around you is doing the same thing by learning the lesson of the day, but you don’t want to be the one that fucks up in front of everyone. It’s a double-edged sword living a life in front of others. Sometimes, things are easier when you know you have people to back you up but other times, the last thing you want is all eyes on you. However, the moral of Allie X’s story is that: it’s a fact of life that we are all continuously learning and growing so there’s no shame in that. With heavy topics expressed along the way in Cape God, “Learning in Public,” is a realistic but optimistic look at the lessons learned. It leaves the album in a good place with hope for the future.
Overall, this album was my pick for Popheads’ Album of the Year because of the sheer ability to build out an entire world to explore through this album. Along with how the album sounds, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the incredible visuals that coincide with this project. Created predominantly by photographer Brendon Burton, the album cover and photographs that accompany the songs are beautiful and haunting. They, along with music videos by Cody Critcheloe and Ssion, perfectly capture the album's overall message of feeling out of place by showcasing Allie X wearing avant-garde fashion in scenic places that wouldn't call for such attire. Whether by looking at the visual components or listening to the songs, you understand the story that is being told.
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Allie X has the ability to create such fun personas and alter egos, but this felt like a step into her most vulnerable state no matter how dark, weird, or silly it may be. Sonically, it’s very different than a lot of current pop music being made in the sense that it fully embraces those grittier production elements of synth-pop, dives headfirst into scenic lyricism, and isn’t afraid of holding back for the entire album rather than only having a song or two push the boundary of capability. This album is a front-to-back masterpiece.
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Cape God is a mystical, enchanting place and I’m asking Allie X for a permanent home on the shore.
Discussion
  1. What are your favorite recurring themes from Cape God?
  2. Having now featured Troye Sivan and Mitski, who are some other artists you would like to see Allie X work with?
  3. What song on the album do you see yourself in the most?
  4. Compared to her other works, how do you like the sound of Cape God and it’s a much more personal approach to songwriting?
  5. Where do you see Allie X going in the future? Will it be back to cutting edge pop like CollXtion I and II, alter ego inspired storytelling like Super Sunset, personal and brooding like Cape God, or perhaps somewhere new entirely?
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I study forbidden and 'cursed' media (Part 1): Money for Nothing

Whenever anyone thinks of forbidden or ‘haunted’ media, they usually mean something like a video game that kills you, a tv commercial that creeps them out, or a movie whose production is met with misfortune at every turn. While those things certainly do exist, they overshadow bits of cursed media that I feel are more deserving of modern attention, since they act as both curiosities, and dangers. While we do have some that could be quantified as ‘supernatural’, a lot of it is fairly mundane-- like what I’m covering today.
Money for Nothing was a stunt-based game show that was intended to air in 1999; however, in the middle of filming the fourth of five episodes, the host (Who I’ll just call [Host]; I won’t name her, but she was a fairly prominent actress at the time) walked off the set, threatening to terminate her contract with the network if they ever tried to get her to appear on another program like it.
Officially, all tapes of the show were destroyed by order of the studio; however, in the course of my study, I have seen part of the first episode, the majority of the second, a series of stills from the third, and the final shots of the fourth episode that caused [Host] to walk off the set.
Up until November of last year, the fifth and final episode was thought to be completely lost.
The objective of Money for Nothing was simple, and summed up in its tag line: “Do you have what it takes… to do NOTHING?”. From what I’ve been able to research, it was based off of the principle of the ‘Quiet Game’, the ever-iconic pastime of harried mothers on road trips everywhere: how long can you go without doing anything? Adding to this was an element of chicken-- the first one to do something loses.
The set of Money for Nothing is a bizarre hybrid of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? with its moody lighting, darkness, and amphitheatre-like setup, and Double Dare, featuring several areas of modular (possibly retractable) flooring which could be used to set up the various equipment used in the stunts. From what I’ve been able to determine, the floor was fairly large-- over 600 square feet, with a very high ceiling in the studio. With some creative set design it could be used for conceivably anything.
As you may be able to guess from what I’ve said so far, Money for Nothing was a very strange show. Challenges consisted of trying to stay as still as possible while everything went wrong around you-- For instance, the surviving footage of episode 1 featured the segment ‘Stopping Cart’, where the contestants sat in the basket of standard supermarket shopping carts and rolled down a ramp that gradually got steeper, until it ended in a large pile of padded material. One of the contestants bailed from their cart less than halfway down the slope, losing the challenge. In documents related to the show, challenges like these were termed “Chicken Challenges”.
Other than Chicken Challenges, we had what was meant to be the main draw of the show: what these documents called the “Skin Crawling Challenges”. Here, contestants were expected to sit perfectly still and make as little noise as possible while various unpleasant things happened to them. Episode 2 featured three different Skin Crawling Challenges: the first one, “Hammock Panic'', featured a contestant laying in a hammock within a small wind tunnel, attempting to not fall out of it while moving as little as possible. Secondly, there was ‘Oh, Honey!’, where [Host] would drizzle honey on the contestant while buzzing sounds played, mimicking a swarm of bees; this seemed at least somewhat pleasant, due to the fact that the honey was clearly very warm if it could be drizzled so easily. Lastly, during the championship round, was the game ‘Arach your Brain’, where a contestant had their head placed in a box full of wolf spiders, which are harmless to humans-- terrifying, but harmless.
The three stills I have of Episode 3 are almost entirely unenlightening; when I got the first one, I swore the set was on fire, due to the sheer amount of smoke or gas in the frame. Upon further inspection, I saw three contestants sitting in lawn chairs, casually reading through magazines, while [Host] stood by in a prop gas mask. The second still almost looks like it’s from the set of The Wicker Man, with two contestants hanging upside-down from wooden scaffolding, clearly trying not to laugh from the headrush.
The last still from Episode 3 was likely not intended for broadcast; it shows one of the producers (who shall go unnamed) getting into an argument with a man who appears to be a crew member; both of them are covered in some form of white foamy fluid. An occupied stretcher is seen in the background. Since I first saw this photograph back in 2017, I wondered what was happening with it.
In November of last year, I started to get answers. A friend of mine got me into contact with one of the producers of Money for Nothing, and while he’s technically under an NDA, he’s breaking it for the sole reason that “You’re a bunch of nutjobs and nobody would believe you anyway”. Harsh, but fair.
The producer, who I’ll call [Riley], talked to me over a Zoom call from L.A. After I introduced myself, I asked him about the picture with the stretcher. He shrugs. “The challenge called for the contestant to hold a lit candle on their head. But they sneezed, and… look, they made it out alive.”
“So the white stuff is fire retardant? From an extinguisher?”
“Exactly.”
“There’s a lot for it for someone setting themselves on fire.”
“I never said they set themselves on fire.”
With that question filed away, I presented him what I had of Episode 4-- he asked how I got it, which was a fair question, considering the fact that the Network itself had lost the recording some time in 2001 or 2002.
There were three cameras that captured the last moments of [Host]’s tenure on Money for Nothing, and in summer of last year, I had tapes from two of them; the person who had the last tape was well known among our community of researchers, but refused to part with it for any amount of money. He was a massive fan of [Host], ran a fangroup for her on UseNet all the way back in the day, named his cat after her most well-known character-- and he has a restraining order from her framed on the wall in his ‘office’.
Now, I have to admit something. In the field of research I carry out, there tend to be more B&E’s than Ph. D’s. Sometimes you’ll get lucky and find something on eBay or at an estate sale or in a library, where you can essentially scoop it up and research it at will; this wasn’t one of those cases. I wanted to see what was on that tape, so…
My original plan was to break into the house and copy the tape with some equipment I had-- something a friend of mine frankensteined out of a tape player and one of my old laptops. It’s meant to convert tapes to a digital format quickly enough that you can be in and out in five minutes, ten tops. It’s portable, if not particularly light, and you don’t really leave any evidence.
So, when he left for work, I waited ten minutes, then went through the back door. From there, I made my way to his office on the second floor-- in addition to the restraining order (which he had posted on Facebook as a point of pride) he had posters, action figures, photos [Host] did from Playboy, and a signed photograph of him and [Host], where she is clearly screaming on the inside. He wasn’t cliche enough of a stalker to have a carefully curated shrine; it was all on a series of bookshelves. And on one of them, sandwiched between several volumes of TV shows [Host] had been in, was a single black plastic tape case, with the words ‘$.F.N. 1999 Last Apperance[sic]” written on it.
Only one problem: the case it was in was too small to be a VHS tape. I realized that I was dealing with a Betamax tape. I had a VHS-to-Digital setup, and Betamax-to-Digital conversion required an entire room’s worth of specialized equipment-- equipment that I had access to through the research group, granted, but I was going to have to physically take the tape out of the house.
That was the first snag I ran into. The second was physical; I felt it catch on something as I tried to pull the case off the shelf, and heard something go click. There was a cable tied to the Betamax case, into some mechanism behind the bookshelf that I didn’t see, but I knew that if I pulled the case off the shelf completely, something bad would happen, and I didn’t see if there was a way to deactivate it; judging by the fact that I hadn’t seen a Betamax player anywhere in the house, he probably didn’t actually watch it. He’d set this up specifically to get someone who was after this tape.
So, keeping the case perfectly still on the shelf, I took out my box cutter and began the arduous process of dissecting the case. This case was made of a solid, if cheap, plastic, and it was more likely to shatter and leave plastic shards than it was to just cut; I couldn’t risk that. I’d given the owner a fake name and was wearing gloves, so if he didn’t know the tape was gone for at least a week, I could make myself scarce. But if he found a shard of the black plastic I was trying to saw my way through… well, the good news is that we have a couple of lawyers in the community.
After ten minutes, I managed to get through the seam linking the front cover of the tape and the spine. I dug my fingers into the sharp plastic, and began peeling it off-- and was immediately met by a strange sight. The tape was in there, all right, but immediately in front of it was a plastic bag filled with some sort of liquid. There was a bare wire inside of the liquid, a battery on the inside of the front cover, and I could smell alcohol-- a booby trap to destroy the tape? Why go through all that trouble? And why keep a Betamax tape if you didn’t even have a Betamax player?
My heart stopped as I heard a car pull up outside; he wasn’t supposed to be back from work for another six hours. The tripwire must have been some kind of alarm system, maybe set up to send a text to him if it was tripped. I pulled aside the makeshift firebomb, prayed I wouldn’t set anything off, and grabbed the tape, intact. A door downstairs slammed open, and I heard him enter the house, heading straight for the room I was in.
I knocked the bookshelf down so it landed in front of the door, and dashed across the office to a window. It was on the second floor, but outside of it was a bare trellis that had to have come with the house, as the rest of the garden was equally dead. It made for a good ladder.
I was about halfway down when I heard the door burst open, despite the bookshelf in front of it. I thought for sure that he was going to come to the window and start either throwing things down at me or shooting at me, but instead I heard him fall to the floor and start crying, saying that something was ‘ruined’ and that he could ‘never fix it’.
I didn’t stay for long after that. I ran out of his backyard and to my car parked three blocks away. Didn’t see any police presence until I was at a diner about two miles away from his house, on IRC with my friend who has the Betamax-to-Digital setup.
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“Hell of a story,” [Riley] admitted once I got done telling it. “Been over twenty years since I saw this. Let’s see if it’s as fucked as I remember.”
Episode 4 is… uncomfortable to sit through. Thanks to the tape I procured, what we have of Episode 4 consists of fifteen minutes of footage-- three of [Host], talking with the crew to the incident, seven with her actually presenting the stunt, and five minutes of the aftermath.
The stunt that caused [Host] to walk off the show was called ‘Raindrops on Noses’. It was the only stunt on the show that used restraints; I’ve yet to find any documentation pertaining as to why, but the contestants were strapped into a set of reclining chairs. Above their heads, a prop in the shape of a large raincloud would drip water onto their faces, drop by drop. The chairs had buttons on them that would release the restraints and light up a sign indicating they forfeited.
The first three minutes of the tape consist of [Host] having a conversation with one of the producers; it’s indistinct, and the words ‘disgruntled employee’, ‘fired’, and ‘call security’ can be made out.. [Host] looks exasperated, like she clearly doesn’t want to be here; she’s rubbing her hands together when she clearly just wants to wipe all of her makeup onto her shirt and start screaming. It’s something you see a lot of when you study media like this; when they think the cameras aren’t rolling, people become giant balls of stress. Part of me thinks that they were trying to record a blooper reel, considering that she drops her American accent at one point and says something along the lines of ‘buncha horseshite’.
Then, the lights come back up. There are cheers from the audience as the host escorts the two contestants-- who I’ll call [Carter] and [Etta]-- to the chairs. She explains the challenge to them, and the mechanics of it, demonstrating the button they need to push to be released from the restraints. Then, when she’s sure the contestants are in the positions, she says “Are you ready to Earn… MONEY FOR NOTHING?”. The audience cheers, and the challenge starts.
There’s a lot of droning, moody music here. Upon five different viewings, I think that it’s just to cover up the snoring of the audience.
“The show was bullshit,” [Riley] admits, lighting up a cigarette. “Nobody wanted to watch people just sit around and do nothing. The shopping cart ride was an example of a good stunt-- people were expected to just sit around and not bail out, kind of a weird expression of machismo. But this rain challenge? We were having people sit and watch contestants get wet for three to six minutes.” He rubs his face. “One of the production assistants, he came to us with an idea-- make the droplets fall randomly. He read somewhere that it can drive people mad.”
“...isn’t that basically Chinese Water torture?”
“I didn’t know that until later but… yeah.”
Since this episode was never aired, all the sound here is diegetic and unedited; the video was cobbled together by my friend from three different tapes. While the motion of these cameras tries to convey some kind of grand event, it’s clear that this should not have been on television in the first place; the first time I saw this, I was nearly falling asleep.
The challenge should have ended quickly-- [Carter] starts tapping at his release button while the [Host] is in the middle of commentating and cheering them on. His restraints don’t open-- bear in mind that this is the same chair [Host] had pressed the release on two minutes earlier to demonstrate its mechanism. The alarm to show that he’s forfeited doesn’t even light up. He keeps pressing it, and [Host] doesn’t seem to notice.
[Etta] takes a bit longer to crack; at the five-minute mark, she presses her button, and it works. As [Host] gets up to thank her for playing and congratulate [Carter], she notices something is wrong with him. The camera closest to him zooms in on his hand. It's been trying to press the button for the last three minutes; the plastic on the button is broken, and there are several cuts on his hand from him desperately trying to press at the shards that remain. He’s clearly sobbing and writhing in his restraints, saying ‘Please, please, oh god please, let me out please, let me out, let me out’. There appears to be smoke coming from his forehead, and I hear a sizzling sound, before the camera cuts.
The only camera to remain un-cut is the one positioned where [Host] would be sitting. [Etta] is pulled out of her chair and taken off-stage. The audience looked on, confused, some wondering if they should call 9-1-1. The audio feed is overtaken by [Carter]’s sobbing as he begs to be let out of the chair. A member of the crew yells to get the water shut off, and eventually resorts to breaking the apparatus dispensing it.
[Carter] is cut free of his restraints and layed on the ground. He is crying. [Host], showing some modicum of tact, goes directly in front of the camera, where she has an argument with her producer, again dropping her accent. Despite the hushed voices, the audio is fairly clear; a transcript is below, with “H” for [Host]t and “P” for the producer.
H: Are you fucking insane?
P: Look, this show is fucking boring. It was a bad idea to begin with, but something like this could get us into syndication. We just needed to bring a little more excitement--
H: Excitement? If people want excitement, they can watch me poke through someone’s guts on Sunday night. What-- what just happened here is fucking torture! I won’t have it! The gas was bad enough, but this?!
P: Look, it was a mistake. We’ll scrap this episode, give them both compensation. They signed waivers--
H: Fuck you. I’m calling my agent. Anyone who wants me to stay here can kiss my--
At this point, a member of the crew enters the shot and shuts off the camera.
“What’s this about the gas?”
[Riley] shakes his head. “The guy in the chair was part of a stunt earlier in the program where he sat in a room full of smoke. It wasn’t even smoke, it was a stupid fog machine. He had some residue on him, but… I’ve never seen it react like that with water.”
“And… it was water in there?”
“...maybe. The cloud prop-- literally just a showerhead-- vanished before we could get the police to look at it.”
It’s here that I started asking about Episode 5.
“So, after [Host] walked off the set… we still had a contract with the network to fulfill. They asked for five episodes, and if their Queen of the Small Screen wanted off the show, they weren't going to say ‘no’.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “So, I make a few phone calls. My dad worked on [Sitcom] in the 80’s, you ever heard of it?”
“Yeah.” [Sitcom] isn’t the actual title, obviously, but ‘cursed sitcoms’ are a specialty of one of my friends. I might ask her if she has any ideas for a post like this.
“We managed to get [Actress]. She played the mom on the show, but was almost entirely forgotten by ‘99. She got to relaunch her career, we got a new host. Win-Win.” He chews his lip. “It… it’ll be easier to show you what happened than tell you.”
My eyes go wide. “You have footage?”
“Kinda. It’s only one angle of the set, and a wide one at that. But… it captures most of the action." He sighed. “Your email is XXXXX@gmail?”
“Yeah.”
Ten minutes later, I’m watching the clip. It’s six minutes long, and most of the dialog is indistinct. And… look, in the course of my research, I’ve seen stuff that makes ‘National Anthem’ from Black Mirror look like Peppa Pig. And I need to say that this… this was rough.
The last recorded challenge of Money for Nothing begins with the contestant being placed into a clear, plexiglass box. He stands completely still as [Actress] walks around him; I can make out the words ‘little furry friends’ and ‘maybe you’ll come out the big cheese!’. Then, she looks out at the audience, and says “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the [inaudible]ack!”
The floor around the man opens up, and a swarm of what I assume are brown rats comes flowing out, gathering around his feet. Credit where it’s due, he stands completely still-- for a while, anyway. Once they start clawing at his clothing, he gets shaky, and by the time one climbs onto his chest, he collapses-- fainted, by the look of his body language.
I hear a tone over the audio; the Zoom call has been continuing this whole time, and [Riley] must see my confusion. “Get to the rats?”
I pause the playback. “Yeah. What’s that sound?”
“It was meant to be a rodent deterrent. Something to make them go back below the stage once the stunt was done. It was never tested. Just…” He looks like he’s turning green. “Keep watching.”
I unpause the video. The tone plays, but the rats remain in the box, crawling over the body of the fallen man. [Actress] is looking at the producers in confusion, and gets up to approach the box. She recoils as the tone sounds again, and I see it-- the rats are swarming over where the man fell. I know where this is going.
There’s panic in the audience. Staff is starting to have them evacuate. [Actress] tries opening up the box, but is stopped by someone on the set-- they get into a fight, with her gesticulating at the swarm of rats. The bottom of the box begins to fill with a visible layer of red liquid. Someone come over with a fire extinguisher to try to break open the glass; [Actress] tries to stop them, but it’s too late.
The box doesn’t shatter as much as it tips; apparently it was never well-secured to begin with. Rats and blood flow out from beneath the box as it falls over, and everyone who hasn’t already evacuated the set does so. The rats abandon a bloody mass that I’m thankful I don’t get to see clearly-- there doesn’t seem to be much skin left, and barely any muscle. All there is are bloody bones covered in the barest fibers of flesh.
“Fucking god.” I swallow.
“It gets worse,” Riley assures me. “Keep watching.”
So, I do. Two minutes after everyone leaves. a figure emerges from the audience section, dropping down opposite the camera. They’re hard to make out, even though the entire set is lit from below; they don’t seem to have any distinct features, barring what seems to be a white T-Shirt with what looks like a broad “V” on it.
Then, the lights go out entirely, leaving the set in darkness.
“What the hell?”
“Rat chewed through a cable. Keep watching.”
I do. I hear footsteps approach the camera. The emergency lights show a shadowy form come up to the camera; his body obscures the lens. He picks up the apparatus and wheels it over what I assume is the center of the room, aiming the lens downwards. This whole time, I’m expecting his face to pop into frame, but instead I hear footsteps walking away.
I check the timestamp; there are maybe ten minutes left in the recording. I only have to wait for five of them, though. I hear voices and see the beams of flashlights briefly illuminate the… the…
When they’re scavenging a corpse, animals normally go for the softest parts of the body first-- the eyes, the lips, the ears. So no, I can’t explain why the head of the contestant that the rats had eaten was untouched. I can’t explain why his eyes seemed to open in response to the flashlights. And I hope to god that his mouth wasn’t actually opening to call for help when I shut off the recording.
I close the window and begin saving the file to a thumb drive. “What the fuck was that?”
“That’s what the LAPD has been trying to figure out for over twenty years.” [Riley] lights another cigarette. “We’re fairly confident someone sabotaged the production, between the incident with the Raindrops stunt, and this one, which… god, I think they called it ‘Rat Pack’.” He shakes his head. “Production was scrapped, tapes were burned, and any props that weren’t essential to the investigation were mothballed or destroyed. That footage you saw is supposed to exist only in evidence lockup, and nowhere else.”
“How’d you get it?”
“It’s Hollywood. Do the math.”
The video finishes saving. I delete the email off of my computer. “Were there any other acts of sabotage at the studio around this time?”
“Surge of crank calls made to [Crime Show] right after this happened. Beyond that, nothing.”
“What about at other studios?”
“Wouldn’t know.” He blows on the cigarette. “Would you?”
I frown. “I’ll have to look into it. Now, how much do I owe y--”
He shakes his head. “Kid. I’m loaded. I could pay for my grandkids’ dog’s retirement. I just… needed to get this off my chest.” He’s pensive for a moment. “There is one thing.”
“What?”
“You do this all the time, basically? Look up creepy media, TV shows and that?”
“I mean, I have a job, but yeah...”
“If you ever find anything related to a show or movie that involves an actress named ‘Zelda Plunick’, you call me.”
WIth that, he terminated the call. I haven’t been in contact with him since; despite searching with the help of other people involved in the forbidden media crowd, the name ‘Zelda Plunick’(sp?) hasn’t come up yet.
------
The deaths and injuries caused by Money for Nothing seem to have largely been swept under the rug. [Carter], the contestant from Episode 4, declined a request for an interview, as did all other living contestants I could find, and I’m not about to bug [Host] or [Actress].
The video of Episode 5 has been analyzed by some other people in my community-- they’ve tried fiddling with the colors on the video, but that can only do so much. We’ve determined that the figure is tall, but not anomalously so; maybe 6’4”, and is likely male.
Like [Riley] said, he did break an NDA on this. He’s apparently wealthy enough to settle out-of-court, and I’ve heard nothing from entertainment news about a big honking lawsuit, so I’m assuming he’s going to be fine up until the second I post this.
I normally keep this kind of analysis and history to our own little group. But something happened a few days back that got me spooked enough that I decided to post this out into the broader world.
The USB drive I had the video stored on went missing around the start of the year; it was already uploaded to others in the channel, so I didn’t really need to keep it. But I came home two days ago, and found it sitting on the desk where I do the majority of my work.
In addition to the audio file, there was a photograph on it. A man in my room, standing in front of my webcam, his head out of frame. He is wearing a white T-Shirt with what I now recognize as a set of TV ‘bunny ear’ antennas on the front-- the same shirt that was in the recording from Episode 5 of Money for Nothing.
-------
That’s all I have for today. Should this not get taken down by whatever NDA the Network suits have on [Riley], I’ll be back with a first-hand experience-- my time watching one of the great lost gimmick films of the 1960s, Laurence Forrest’s The Maddening Quiet.
submitted by CursedMediaStudent to nosleep [link] [comments]

The Ten Projects That Will Define Buffalo in the 2020s

Happy New Year /buffalo!
The 2010s saw Buffalo build a strong foundation for its resurgence with neighborhoods long left for dead seeing new life and many historic buildings being redeveloped. This foundation has paved the way for many projects that will transform the city in the 2020s.
Here is my selection of the top seven projects that will define the city in the coming decade and 3 that might.
Feel free to list projects you’re most excited about or ones that I’ve overlooked.
Removal/Downgrade of the Scajaquada Expressway
While we are still waiting for a final decision by the DOT on whether the 198 will be removed completely or just downgraded, either option could be transformative for not only Delaware Park, but also Blackrock.
Removal of the Skyway
After new connections are built, the skyway is slated to be demolished in 2028.
Buffalo Waterfront
Buffalo’s waterfront has made amazing progress in just the past ten years between Canalside, the complete restoration of the Buffalo River and everything happening on the Outer Harbor. However, the best is yet to come - by 2030, Buffalo might have one of the best Riverfronts in the country:
Northland Corridor
Ten years ago, nobody would have thought the Northland corridor would be thriving with activity - in the heart of the Eastside no less.
Currently home to the Buffalo Works Advanced Manufacturing Institute and the new Workforce Development Center, the sprawling complex has already run out of space attracting companies such as 43North winner SparkCharge and California’s Retech to the once abandoned buildings.
Expect adjacent buildings to be redeveloped over the next few years and hopefully more companies opening up shop, giving the Eastside a much needed employment center.
Perry Projects Redevelopment
After over a decade of promises and planning, work is finally slated to begin on transforming the Perry Projects. This is a key neighborhood, almost 1 square miles in area that connects everything happening at Larkin, the First Ward, Canalside and the unexpectedly thriving Hydraulics District.
Penrose has been selected as the developer and expect a mixed use and mixed income neighborhood that helps enhance connections to the surrounding areas. How cool would it be if South Park became a thriving commercial district. It could easily be the First Ward’s “Elmwood Village.”
Buffawood
Maybe the most unexpected development of the past year is the interest Hollywood has taken in Buffalo.
This is amazing news for Buffalo:
Silo City
Also, among the list of unexpected projects, Silo City has been slowly adding amenities over the past ten years. It started with some industrial art and some cool festivals, but now there is a restaurant straight out of the Fallout series and they even give skyline tours.
Most recently, construction will start that will bring apartments and art space to the sprawling complex. Not only does this beautify an eyesore and preserve Buffalo’s history, this is an extremely unique complex. There’s no larger collection of grain silos in the world and has the potential to become a truly unique art center unlike anything else in the world.
Projects that Will Likely Define Buffalo: New Convention Center
While Covid has delayed the project, last year the County selected the site for a new $400 million convention center. Not only does this give Buffalo a larger and modern convention center, it allows for the demolition of the concrete monstrosity that is the current convention center. This also leads towards the restoration of Genesee street and the historic Buffalo street grid.
While the price tag is high, got to remember that the convention center is a money maker for the county. As long as it is designed to last 60 years, the money invested will be paid back over time.
Unlike a Bills stadium, the current convention center already hosts over 100 events a year, greatly contributing to the health of downtown’s economy.
Still, this is one project not set in stone. While the county will likely have an easy time to finance the project, there could be some hiccups when it comes to land acquisition. There’s a lot of moving parts, so I wouldn’t expect the project to be completed until 2030 at the earliest.
Projects that Could Define Buffalo: Metrorail Expansion
Currently, Buffalo is the closest it has ever been to expanding the metrorail since the 80s. The only thing standing in the way is securing funding from the FTA. Thankfully, unlike under Trump, the new FTA chief Pete Buttigiege will likely be more supportive of transit projects. Still, it might be a year before funding is officially secured from the federal government. While NYS has pledged money for the project, their budget is not doing so hot right now. The NFTA might have to rely more heavily on the County and partners like UB for some of the construction costs not covered by the federal government.
For those of you who think this is a waste of money, consider that the current short 7 mile metrorail line has more annual riders than the entire hundred of miles of bus lines. This project will double metrorail ridership, meaning 2/3rds of public transportation use in Buffalo would be by rail. This project will also:
Projects that Might Define Buffalo: New Bills Stadium
This is the least likely of the projects to actually happen, but if it did, it could transform an entire section of the city. On one hand the Bills are doing amazing, but on the other any proposal will come with a lot of backlash - grab your pop-corn.
Currently there’s two options:
Both will likely come with a lot of backlash, with the more expensive option of building a brand new stadium seeing much more backlash. Stadiums are money sinks and done wrongly, it could be a dead zone for much of the year looking at other stadiums surrounded by parking lots.
Personally, I think a downtown stadium makes the most sense, but only if the following demands are met:
Needless to say we should try to get the NLF and the Pegulas to fork over as much money as possible to fund the massive project.
Honorable Mentions
Feel free to add anything I missed!
submitted by Eudaimonics to Buffalo [link] [comments]

Album Of The Year Write-Up #12: D Smoke - Black Habits

Artist: D Smoke

Album: Black Habits

Listen:

Spotify
Apple
Tidal
YouTube

Background:

Daniel Farris AKA D Smoke is a former high school Spanish teacher, now full time independent artist from Inglewood, California. D Smoke is the older brother of SiR who is signed to TDE and the younger brother of Davion Farris. To family and friends they're referred to as 'the Farris boys'. The whole family has a large musical background, at a young age the Farris boys were singing in their church choir while their mom was the minister of music and although they didn’t explicitly go to college for it, all the brothers made money writing music throughout high school and college. D Smoke also has some acting credits as a background actor in CSI. Their father would be incarcerated from around the time of his birth till he was 8 years old.
D Smoke went to college at UCLA and majored in Spanish literature. While at UCLA he would still continue to develop himself musically by using the old music rooms after class, playing the piano and writing. D Smoke and his brothers would start to get noticed while in studio sessions, Smoke and Davion were the writer and composers for the hit Jaheim - Never that came out in 2007 and would hit 76 on the Hot 100 and 1 on the RnB 100.
While in college the brothers along with their cousin Tiffany Gouché would start an Independent label named Woodwork Records out of Inglewood. They have a building with a recording studio inside, that they also sell merch and perform concerts out of. All the brothers are 'signed' to Woodwork Records with SiR also having the joint deal with Top Dawg Entertainment and RCA. You can find a now ‘archived’ Instagram account of their label, where they have pics of a young D Smoke and SiR. Along with that pictures of their mom with Michael Jackson and SiR with Stevie Wonder. Woodworks was a staple inside of Inglewood where artists would come through to make noise and connections in the city - In the 2010/2011 era the brothers were openers for a TDE (Black Hippy) concert at 'Whisky a Go Go' in Hollywood - DJ Battlecat would often come through to check out artists in the area and said that many A&R's for record labels would come through to check local talent. Terrance Martin shot music videos inside of the studio. It was no doubt a place that artists would want to be. I already touched on the brothers having writing credits for certain artists. Along with Jaheim, they also wrote songs for Ginuwine and The Pussycat Dolls. The three brothers would create an album 'Producer of the Year' in 2006 - which I've been unable to find on the internet.
After graduating Smoke would then go on to be a teacher for close to a decade, teaching Spanish across different schools in Inglewood and Crenshaw, actually teaching at View Park High School which is right across the road from Nipsey Hussle’s Marathon Clothing store. As the way D Smoke describes himself - 'Mr. Farris' seemed like a pretty good teacher. He would play music in class to inspire kids to use Spanish as an outlet to express themselves and said that when kids needed to fight he would let them run a fade to get it out of their system and then make them get back to work.
D Smoke finally caught a ‘break’ in his music career when he was chosen to participate and WON the first season of Netflix’s Rhythm and Flow. The competition would match rappers against each other to see who was the best overall. The show was executive produced by John Legend and had Cardi B, T.I and Chance the Rapper as judges. Smoke put in an application to compete in the show and was selected, but was apprehensive at first. The winner of the show got $250k, but Smoke was worried that there may be hidden things in the contract like the winner being stuck in a record deal or some other nonsense. In terms of the actual competition, honestly it was unfair. You had a music veteran that had been making music for decades, up against a lot of new guys just trying to make any noise they could. Very few people were able to keep up with Smoke and he blew not only the competition away, but his music sounded better than some of the judges' recent output.
Highlights of D Smoke participating in Rhythm and Flow
D Smoke - Last Supper performance - The thing that caused him to draw Kendrick comparisons so quickly.
Before the filming of the show D Smoke was consulting with his team about the best way to drop Black Habits, but since the show opportunity came they put that off to the side. After winning the show he released an EP titled ‘Inglewood High’ to give fans music, but allow for more developments and updates to Black Habits now that he had more connections. Inglewood High EP draws a lot of influence from To Pimp a Butterfly as Smoke is rapping over Jazz inspired beats touching on some heavy subject matter. 'Honey Jack' is a must listen from the project.

Album Background:

The albums cover art pictures a young D Smoke with his brothers (left to right Davion Farris, D Smoke and SiR) and parents dressed in their “Sunday casual”. At first glance it looks like a nice family picture, with happiness and love, but looking closer it shows them with their father outside the prison he was currently being incarcerated in. This picture was taken during a monthly visitation.
As mentioned in his background D Smoke has a lot of background with the Latino community (being from Inglewood) and speaking Spanish. About 15-20% of this album is in Spanish - Although I am not fluent in Spanish, from what I've heard from others the album really hits the mark when he is rapping in Spanish. Smoke isn't just saying random stuff, he has a message and is fluently rhyming in Spanish.
D Smoke gets a lot of Kendrick Lamar comparisons. When rapping (and Kendrick isn’t experimenting with his voice) they sound similar, they’re both conscious rappers who touch on a lot of similar subject matter. After listening to this album on repeat, it kind of reminds me of Good Kid m.A.A.d City: Inglewood Edition - As the overall premise of the album is about D Smoke navigating his way through Inglewood, going from kid to teacher. Along with touching on demons that he and others in the city face.

Track Breakdown

Morning Prayer:

The intro skit sets up the album by showing how much family, education, discipline and God means to the family. The three brothers repeat what their mother says, and then you hear a prayer from one of them - D Smoke never specifies what brother it is, but you know that this is how they all felt, they were all asking God for their father to come home.

Bullies:

Bullies is telling a story of the three brothers before their father came back from prison. The brothers were told not to fight anyone, but to also not allow anyone to put a hand on you or any of your brothers. D Smoke in an interview with Talib Kweli, fighting with each other was a normal occurrence, it's something they did for fun. The brothers would go to Karate classes to learn a way of self defense. Many of the boys from school would fight each other not out of malice, but for sport. They wanted to see who the strongest on the block was. So if it came down to it and people were being bullies, they knew who could put a stop to it real quick.
The outro of the song has a beat and flow switch, a much more mellow and calm cadence. It is a modern day D Smoke saying that every time he needs to let loose and feel like he needs to beat someone's ass, he will let the energy out in his music, opposed to trying to fight actual people - Showing his growth as a man.

No Commas:

No Commas tackles wealth inequality, gentrification and how D Smoke goal is to own the block - In interviews he references Nipsey approach a lot and how he respected Nipsey approach to financial independency and ownership. This comes out in verse 1 as he preaches ownership and being your own boss.
Verse 2 is where D Smoke starts talking about gentrification and ownership in Inglewood.
They buyin' everything in my city lines
Property value rising, they gon' gentrify
This ain't rocket science, here, let me simplify
We think we owners, but we only renters, why?
The system ain't broke, it's designed to keep us declinin'
Until we reach the bottom line and can't see the sky
Smoke starts off by talking about the gentrification of Inglewood. Despite Inglewood being a diverse place between Latino and Black people a lot of the ownership seen in recent years is from the Silicon Valley area buying apartments and raising rent. - Here is a good article on the gentrification Inglewood has seen in recent years and how there are potential opportunities for Inglewood natives to get good jobs in the area.
D Smoke poses the questions as to why Inglewood natives can't be the owners, but contradicts himself in the next line. Saying the system ain't broke, but designed to keep minorities declining. When it comes to economics it is class warfare on top of race issues; a majority of people are in poverty and this is causing deeper divides - America's capitalism has been a huge failure.

Gasper Yanga:

The track Gaspar Yanga is about being a leader. Gaspar Yanga was an African known for being the leader of a maroon colony of slaves in the highlands near Veracruz, Mexico during the early period of Spanish colonial rule. He is known for successfully resisting a Spanish attack on the colony in 1609.
The song starts with Snoop Dogg telling D Smoke to represent Inglewood. Then comes in a drowned out vocals of Latino women harmonizing in Spanish. as Whatwereallywant tells me in the comments they sampled - The women harmonizing is actually bulgarian, they sampled this but that doesn't matter because D Smoke's first verse starts and he comes in bragging about the reputation he has built in his city.
Where your roots run?
Smoke, he talkin' that shit, nigga, where you from? (Inglewood)
We can do somethin'
Bro keep talkin' that shit, you just might move somethin'
Apply that pressure (Pressure)
This is common LA verbiage that every man in LA will be asked at some point. Everyone wants to know what block they're representing. D Smoke never gives a set name and proudly says he's from Inglewood. This hook is also a throw back to Smoke's first appearance on the show. Snoop Dogg was a guest judge that episode and after his brilliant performance, Snoop Dogg then pressed him for where he's from.
  • Snoop: “D Smoke, where you from, homie?”
  • D Smoke: “I’m from Inglewood.”
  • Snoop: “Nah, where you from, homie?”
  • D Smoke: “I’m from Inglewood.”
Instead of claiming a set, D Smoke answered by claiming Inglewood. Snoop knew the type of man Smoke was by not crumbling to pressure and maintaining his character. In context of the song Snoop is using pressure to mean knowledge, he wants Smoke to spread his knowledge to the kids of Inglewood.
The Second Verse is where he starts rapping about his reputation and influence in Inglewood.
Am I wrong for puttin' us on? You would if you could
In my zone, they leave me alone, I'm good in the 'Wood
These first two bars speak to the amount of respect that D Smoke has in Inglewood. Smoke doesn't have to claim a gang as he has earned his reputation and respect by teaching the youth of the city, along with being able to help put artists on through Woodwork Records, providing a place to record and a place for entertainment..
I did my homework and my rudiments
I made my dome work and stayed true to all my hooligans
Now I travel where I want regardless of the destination
And if you don't know your way, you just might need an invitation
The verse ends with Smoke saying that his influence goes beyond Inglewood and he can travel to any city and have respect. He speaks on this in interviews, as he has taught across different areas in LA. No matter where he teaches he understands how to garner respect from students and can help put them in situations to be successful. His influence isn’t only in his music, but also in his teachings.

Top of the Morning:

In his Big Boy interview D Smoke said that this song was created to make everyone take in the moment - All the success doesn't matter if you don't have a good support system and don't take the time out of your success to focus on your love and relationships with friends and family. Despite all the bad things that have happened throughout Smokes childhood he wants people to know their was love in their household. People looking in from the outside may see a lot of sadness, heartbreak and struggle, but there was always love.
The song could also be a double entendre and Smoke could also be speaking to people outside of Inglewood, that look at Inglewood and look at all the bad things - Not realizing outside of the bad things there is an immense amount of love in the city.

Sunkissed Child:

The song features vocals from Jill Scott and some slightly jazzy production from DJ Battlecat. Smoke really pulled out the heavy hitters for this track about his parents. This song explores the relationship between Smokes mom and dad before the kids, during the addiction, and the start of their fathers incarceration's. Smoke depicts his dad as pretty manipulative, something that would be touched on in other songs.
Still wrestlin' with addiction, knew hubby ain't said enough
He just handed her the pipe, looked at her and said, "A puff
Will take you places you can't imagine or fathom", a drug
Is such a terrible word
In his interview with Rob Markman for Genius, D Smoke said that the second verse very much a straight forward telling of his parents dealing with addiction
"So a lot of the second verse is just straight down the pipe, literal. You know what I’m saying? It’s literally how things happened. And me and your story is a little bit different in that you watched your parents transition from addicts out of that to sober people. But for me it was the moment right when my memories start, was when the addiction ended."

Black Habits I:

Honestly, just go listen to D Smoke himself breakdown the song in a Genius video - D Smoke "Black Habits I" Official Lyrics & Meaning | Verified
The first thing you should notice about this song is the 'ft. Jackie Gouche' Who??? He put his mom on the vocals and boy does she deliver. Smoke says the original plan was the two of them to harmonize on the chorus together, but after hearing how well her voice sounded he cut his voice out and went with just her on the final cut, with him throwing in Adlibs.
The song itself is described in the chorus - A celebration of Black excellence.
Black magic, black excellence
Black habits, this black medicine, everything
Black Chucks, black tux, everything, everything
Black hug, black love, everything
I think that this song is where Smoke shows some of his best lyricism.
Every time they hear this, they gon' say he made an anthem, life ain't a panda
Shit ain't black and white, it's a canvas
Spike Lee your dreams and Bruce Lee your tantrums
Two-three that bullshit and go Michael Jordan, go Samson
Knock down the walls around me, strong and dark and so handsome
The song itself sums up the whole album. Black excellence, Black Family, Black love and (Black?) God.

Fly:

Fly was the first single for the album and was a good stepping stone into the actual album, as the whole premise of the song is 'have we made it?' I enjoy the concept of the song because the brothers really approached the industry as a team and although each of them are starting to make noise at slightly different times they don't feel like they're made it till all of them are successful.
D. Smoke really gets to show off his vocals on this track, singing on the Chorus showing that he isn't the only brother that can sing an RnB hook. His voice sounds more polished and lacks the uniqueness of SiR's voice, but Smoke is still able to make the catchiest hook of the album. Questioning if the brothers have finally made it in the industry.
Are we on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on?
I am going to speak on Davion Farris's part as he is the one brother who doesn't have any name recognition despite being as talented.
I remember when I didn't have it all, huh (Have it all)
Puttin' clothes on layaway at shopping malls, huh
Now I eat off publishing and tour dates, huh (Tour dates)
'Cause I started grinding 'til the goods came, huh ('Til the goods came)
...
Only need one woman when you got you a queen
And she got her own, don't need no shoppin' sprees (Need no shoppin' sprees)
When we converse, we talk 'bout buyin' properties, yeah (Yeah)
Go getters, yeah, we all winners, whole crew, huh
Gold diggers, what we said, know we gon' do, huh
We be makin' waves until we seasick, huh ('Til we seasick)
Lookin' 'round like, "Bro, can you believe it?" We really flyin
The lyrics are pretty straight forward, there isn't much interpretation as Davion is singing his heart out about the rough beginning of his career and the struggles of trying to be noticed in the industry to now being able to enjoy the success that the brothers have had and get to build on top of while also reminiscing about their past and what it took to get to that point.

Lights On & Real Body:

Putting them together since they compliment each other very well.
Lights On is about how men will use strip clubs to battle their depression, loneliness and other demons. The opening verse has a man coming to the strip club after a long shift at work to blow off steam - Describing the women in front of him, almost to the point that he is objectifying her, but encouraging her to make the money she needs. SiR once again comes in and compliments Smokes voice very well, the two harmonize on the hook together.
I really recommend the music video for this as it features the amazing Issa Rae
Coming off of Lights On, Real Body has him taking a woman home from the strip club and the first verse has him describing her body and everything he wants to do with her.
Ari Lennox steals the show on this song - Coming in describing the woman's body as a full course meal and to get rid of any fear, anxiety, sadness as making love with them will leave them fulfilled.
Thighs mimic strawberries
Ripe for the right picking
Rolls for your Thanksgiving
Full C, nappy, Hi-C drinking
Hit your stroke, boy, and go'n to me
Feel good to have no fear
Love it when you are near
Really, baby, fuck on me
Real Body ends with the two of them harmonizing about sex.

Like My Daddy:

Is a song dedicated to their dad, taking out any bad parts of their relationship to focus on the good things. Despite being absent for the first 8 years of Smoke's life he's still able to gain a lot of life experience from what his father went through - He thanks his father for everything he taught him, dressing up, dating women, and just overall being a man.
The outro switches to Smoke singing from his fathers perspective and how he is proud to be their father - It then transitions into their father apologizing for being absent from their life and being locked up, thanking his wife for staying loyal and waiting for him to get out of prison, apologizing for everything he has put her through and thanking her for allowing him to stay home while she perused her career in music. The last thing he say's is what speaks to what kind of person their father is.
But that was the thing, I— I needed to fulfill that promise
That I wouldn't abandon my sons like I got abandoned

Closer to God:

This song was produced by D Smoke and that is evident as he loves playing the piano in his instrumentals. SiR's vocals are what makes this track come alive for me. The Chorus has SiR questioning the reason for getting high.
I don't know why I get high
Maybe I'm tryna get closer to God
Got broken wings but I'm still fly
Baby, I'm tryna get closer, closer to God
Why is it so common and is it used as a form of self medication to get rid of any anxiety about life around them? The first verse D Smoke reflecting on his time in church going from child to an adult. The song cuts to Smoke going to church and being told that if you are a believer in god that you will give up smoking weed, as someone who believes in God wouldn't need to smoke.
The second verse is about addiction and the demons that people face. It starts with Smoke taking inspiration on Kanye's song 'Addiction' on Late Registration
What's your addiction? (Yeah) Is it money?
Is it girls? Is it trees? I can't admit it (Yeah)
I need God to keep workin' on me
Later on in the verse Smoke would continue the theme
Some drank (Some drank), some smoke (Some smoke)
Some judge other people, some don't (Some don't)
...
You don't need pills to elevate
Just remember to stay strong and pray for better days
I'm high
This verse ends has Smoke speaking as a preacher, talking someone through their addiction. Going into the last verse Smoke raps about how he feels while battling his demons, that there is always a storm following him and he doesn't know how to beat it. The song ending with Smoke preaching that God is what is used to lift his spirits out of a dark place. Smoke believes that people should use God to battle through their demons he has described throughout the album. Drugs, sex, gang affiliation can be battled through and you will be able to find peace by getting closer to your God.

Black Habits II:

In comparison to the first Black Habits on this album, this song is about knowing your worth as a black man.
Verse 3 is probably the most culturally relavent verse of the album, reminding people of what black men with a voice may lose if they decide to protest. There will always be a white man trying to tell them how to act and put them in 'their place'.
Uh, run this ball a hundred yards
When I say ain't no fun involved
I ain't bring you to this team to be Dr. King
Take a knee and on me, you won't run at all
At the press conference, you better high step and smile
I expect you to be grateful
And the next time you don't wanna answer a question
You better figure out somethin' to say, fool
'Cause who you think paid for that suit you wearin'?
Or that new McLaren?
Or the car that your grandma drive?
Ain't you used to sharin'?
You could go back to not havin' a dime
Pullin' up at the club and get in back of the line
Couldn't tell you enough how easy to be replaced
You should face the facts, another you in no time, it's showtime
The end of the song (and album) is a reminder that pop culture follows black culture.
Their great is the black average
Imitatin' all our black talents
We got black habits

Conclusion:

This is a good introduction and debut by D Smoke. It showed that he is capable of turning this from hobby to full career and that the talent he showed on that show wasn't a fluke. Throughout the album he has impressive story telling about his time growing up in Inglewood, his parents, his come up into being a teacher and his thought process as an adult. There is good lyricism sprinkled in there in both English and Spanish. Each song has it's own flow, which make each song unique. The RnB cuts are really well done and do nothing but elevate the album (thank you SiR and Ari).
Some of the production choices are all over the place and the album tends to jump from topic to topic without any type of structure which makes it hard to follow along on a first listen. I think a few songs could've been cut to make it flow better as he's not really saying much in the songs.
Can't wait to see what D Smoke does next - Hopefully a joint album with SiR
Favorite Interviews:

Favorite Lyrics:

Gasper Yanga:
Am I wrong for puttin' us on? You would if you could
In my zone, they leave me alone, I'm good in the 'Wood
Grey poupon, it's in the cologne, my foot on your jug'
Gasper Yanga:
Stupid, man, it's ludicrous (Ludicrous)
Give my girl a kiss and start playin' all in her uterus,
People did it like me before, the world is new to this
Red City, nigga, plenty homies in the blue division
I did my homework and my rudiments
I made my dome work and stayed true to all my hooligans
Black Habits I:
Every time they hear this, they gon' say he made an anthem, life ain't a panda
Shit ain't black and white, it's a canvas
Spike Lee your dreams and Bruce Lee your tantrums
Two-three that bullshit and go Michael Jordan, go Samson
Knock down the walls around me, strong and dark and so handsome
Lights On:
I came here and needed some motivation
Your family probably got ass for generations
You got it from your mama, so mama can get it
Like My Daddy:
Thought I could get away wit'— You caught me masturbatin'
Didn't get mad, you just laughed and helped me master datin'
All the game you gave 'em helped, that boy go slay 'em, though
That reputation as a player, ho, start layin' low
Kamehameha, you was Goku, Super Saiyan, pro
And I'm just trainin' to be just like you one day and more
Closer to God:
Uh, I go to church to listen (Yeah)
The music had me lifted, the sermon left me conflicted (Yeah)
The one who holds the throne said, "Cast the first stone
Only if you never sinned", and you callin' yourself a Christian?
Well, As-Salaam-Alaikum to my haters (Haters)
Peace be unto you, hypocritical instigators

Discussion Questions:

  • Do you think this album deserves to be Grammy nominated?
  • Do you think it competes with the other four albums in Rap AOTY category?
  • Do you think D Smoke is a Kendrick 'rip-off'? If yes, what makes him comparable to Kendrick? Does he do anything better than Kendrick?
  • Do you like how much his family was involved in the project? Do you enjoy SiR, Davion Farris and Jackie Gouche contributions on the project?
  • Do you think it's to D Smoke's advantage to stay independent. This album didn't do commercially well despite being critically acclaimed* and him winning a Netflix show
submitted by NerdGasem to hiphopheads [link] [comments]

How To Travel with a Musical Instrument

TL;DR: Carry your axe on your back, not in your hands. Lugging an instrument around is worth it if you make it worth it. Don’t let your music gear out of sight, it’ll disappear. You can street perform in ways that aren’t music. Leave expensive/nice/sentimental instruments with someone you trust and travel with a cheap, durable instrument. Likelihood of damage or theft is high.
For almost all of the tens of thousands of miles I've traveled in the US and Mexico, I've carried some kind of instrument. Walking, riding, hitching, trainhopping, flying, or sailing, I've rarely ever been out of arm's reach of something I can play. I was recently asked by u/hundr3d___ about the logistics of actually physically carrying around my saxophone. This topic comes up kind of regularly, so I'm broaching it again here for everyone to discuss.
For context, I started traveling at age 20, after dropping out of music school at a state university. I had almost ten years of practice and training on stage, and had relatively little experience surviving on my own, traveling, living outside, or making money without a job. With this combination of tones of musical skill frontloaded against relatively little survival skill or travel experience, I came up with an idea of how I could get by.
My idea was that I could make up for lack of badassery simply by being good at music. Luckily, I was sort of half right about that particular notion. I was very wrong about lots of other notions. Playing music opened some doors and put some money in my pocket as I traveled, but I definitely suffered unnecessarily until I’d been out there for a while. My initial lack of instincts, sense of direction, and baseline knowledge about how to travel and survive, could not be fully compensated for by my ability as a performer.
So as the story goes, I dropped out in the fall, went back home to Walla Walla, Washington in the winter, tied up my loose ends (sort of), gathered my gear, and departed on January 1st. I left my warm, drug-addicted, terminally-ill, dysfunctional family home for cold, clean, uncertain freedom. I left my smartphone and my car, and my Playstation and the girl I was seeing, walked to the nearest highway onramp with my boots, my backpack, and my saxophone, and stuck out my thumb. It was snowing.
At this point, I was already carrying WAY too much gear and clothing. The weight of the instrument was hard to differentiate from the near crippling weight of books, a chintzy cooking stove, a shovel, a hatchet, a crowbar, a folding chair, a tent, over-ear studio monitor headphones, extra pants and coats that I would never wear, etc… I did manage to get a couple rides, and even a place to stay on a moored sailboat that first night, but every yard I had to walk in-between kind strangers was load-bearing agony.
Making my way east to Portland, then south through Oregon to San Francisco, I slowly shed the aforementioned unnecessary bullshit. At one point in California, I actually bought a big-ass plastic tote from an office supply store and buried a bunch of clothes and gear on the cliffs above the beach. That was like the one and only practical use for that freaking shovel.
It took a little while for the saxophone to really earn its own salt. Two weeks in, by the time I was strolling through Santa Cruz, I had kind of figured out what I really needed, and had started to get the hang of this whole hitchhiking thing. The last item I held that didn’t seem to have a daily use was my saxophone. I’d played it a few times for myself, sort of tried to entertain the sailboat people that first night, but hadn’t put much serious effort toward making money or friends with my music. I really considered finding a way to mail the damn thing home. Some kind of inner wisdom got the better of me (maybe it was just pride) and I held on to the horn until I landed in the Southern California college party town of Isla Vista, near Santa Barbara on the coast.
I had been moving relatively fast up until this point. The 7 hour drive from Santa Cruz had been completed in one jump: a pair of rocker dudes in their van. These guys were from LA, had long hair, wore leather jackets and black denim jeans. Their van called “The Butt” had curtains and stickers and stories. I picked these dudes’ brains from the back seat the whole way down, and told them my plan to make it to Hollywood and get famous playing saxophone. They sized me up pretty quickly as being a dumb kid, said that being homeless in Downtown LA would likely fuck me up or kill me, and insisted on dropping me an hour north in Isla Vista instead.
As a joke, my angel saviors in black bought me a lotto ticket and a 24-rack of beer, seeing as I wasn’t old enough to buy booze myself yet. They dropped me off a couple hours after sunset and sent me on my way into the night. I had no idea that I was walking into one of the most highly-concentrated, densely-populated party zones in the world. Isla Vista is one square mile that is home to 40,000 people. The vast majority of these people are students at the University of California at Santa Barbara: easily ranked Top 5 among West Coast party schools.
The beer was enough to get me into a backyard party at a fraternity. The fresh traveler grit and the saxophone were enough to make every single person there take an interest in me. Here emerged the other useful skill I gleaned from my own time in college: the ability to quickly drink alcohol. About an hour after I arrived and set down my pack, I was dancing shirtless on the beer pong table next to the speakers, ripping a sloppy saxophone solo over a Drake song. I made a bunch of friends who I never saw again, and blurrily sauntered to an apartment with a guy named Kevin who was apparently the president of the frat.
Gleaming morning sun punched me in the face, streaming in parallel lines through the open blinds. The couch was wet with something that I feared was piss, but upon further inspection smelled a lot like bong water. I stumbled through the refuse of beer cans and discarded clothing in the dim, unfamiliar place, and drank straight from the faucet in the little kitchen. The water was tepid and tasted minerally and bad. It turns out that the municipal tap water in SoCal isn’t quite as crystal clear as the spring-fed system in my mountainous little Northern hometown.
Taking stock of my surroundings, grabbing onto the counter to fight the aggressive spinning in my head, I started to piece together the night. There was my backpack, okay good. There was my saxophone case, shit it’s empty, where is my actual horn? There is my journal, did I lose my pen? Where is my hat? Oh man, okay there’s my sax, it’s under the couch. Got lucky this time, got to put it away next time before I pass out. Jesus do they have any Tylenol?
I managed to collect myself and my gear, more-or-less, and scribbled a note of thanks to Kevin. The cheap wooden front door creaked open and I emerged into the late-morning sun. The light blasted my bleary eyeballs, and I immediately tripped as I trod barefoot on the concrete balcony walkway of the four-story apartment building. After a couple hours of wandering around this weirdly idyllic beach town, cursing the Pabst Brewing Company, I found a bench, sat down, and wrote most of this story you’re reading in my journal.
As I traveled on, exploring Baja California and Western Mexico, then traveling to Northern California to trim weed, my go-to move became “appearing randomly in a new place, unexpectedly playing saxophone, and see what happens. Occasionally people would think I was crazy, ignore me awkwardly, or get mad and tell me to leave. The majority of the time, however, this bold ridiculousness got a pretty positive reaction. Many, many rides came from people who approached me while I was playing on the street or at a party. The fact that I was down to jump in and play with anyone would often get me invited to social events that I had no business attending. I very quickly learned how to apply my ear training and jazz improvisation skills to allow me to pick up and play songs I didn’t know with musicians I’d never met.
Busking became my main source of income. At least half of my food came from dumpster diving, the only things I drank were water or free beer, and I had very very little in the way of bills to pay. I’d occasionally buy reeds for my saxophone, keep stocked on a few essential, non-perishable food staples, make sure I had small, important pieces of gear like lighters, dental floss and sewing needles, batteries for my headlamp, paint pens/spray, etc. I really kept myself vigilant about spending any money, seeing it more like a tool than a resource. Most things I needed I could get for free if I looked long enough. For things like greyhound bus tickets or gas money for craigslist rides it made sense to save up a little cash in order to keep moving. I would sometimes do really well busking in a particular area and stay there for two or three days to keep working it, but generally I traveled alone and kept moving. I usually had enough cash in my pocket to get what I needed, and at that point in my life, that was plenty to satisfy me.
The term “busking”, and a lot of what I share about it also applies to other types of performance besides music. If you want to lug a typewriter around and sling poetry on the street, do it. If you want to bring art supplies with you and sell your art, have at it. If you randomly just happen to be a killer juggler, or magician, or Tarot card reader or you can do cool tricks with a soccer ball or hula hoop, or literally whatever the fuck else, follow your passion, and do it at people for money. It’s called Busking. Actually, you don’t even have to be that good at what you’re doing; relying on a talent to survive is a really fast way to grow that talent. I wrote about busking in detail already, right here
As mentioned, art, craft and just general trading definitely have their places in the nomad economy. Everyone has a hustle. I’ve learned a ton about herbalism and natural remedies/foods from wise travelers who forage and process these items for a living. Knitting, embroidery, natural fabric dying, whittling, metal smithing, jewelry making, voodoo practitioning, and tattooing are all pastimes that I’ve seen travelers make into professions. Special mention here for the “Gem n Jam” kids who literally carry around suitcases full of rocks to turn into wire wrapped jewelry, and sell Many, many travelers have at least some type of drug that they trade. Like music, all of these trades can make you money, but take time and skill, and require you to carry more shit around
There’s also a lot to be said for the value in lugging around a laptop. Similar to a musical instrument, tech is expensive, kind of heavy, highly-theftable, and generally delicate and breakable. More and more people are building their lives and incomes around working online, however, and if you figure out a way to do that while traveling, more power to you.

The Logistics

Any item that you carry while traveling must be worth it’s weight. My philosophy is, when I’m going primarily on foot, anything I carry around must be useful and make an impact on my life on at least a daily basis. The heavier and bulkier an item is, the greater impact it must have on my experience to be worth it.
My Yamaha Series 62 Alto Saxophone, in it’s pine wood case, weighed 17 pounds. Anyone who’s done so much as a day hike knows that that’s a lot. That’s heavier than two gallons of water. That’s a 24-rack of beer. This wasn’t a student model beginner horn, it was a professional-level instrument with soft metal, finely tuned mechanisms, over a hundred moving parts, tiny springs, sensitive leather pads that have to make airtight seals. Heavy, delicate, vulnerable to changes in temperature and weather… the saxophone is far from the ideal instrument for a traveler, sleeping outside and running to catch moving trains.
There was one advantage to this particular choice, however; it was unique. The VAST majority of traveling kid musicians carry an acoustic guitar, a banjo, a ukulele, or a harmonica. I’ve had five (?) six-string sidekicks so far on the road, with varying levels of quality and damage. Guitars are great. They’re cheap, they’re simple, you can often fix them yourself. Everyone recognizes a guitar, just about anyone can play one, and acoustic ones don’t need electricity. Where they suffer, however, is from their own popularity. If you’re playing and singing a six string in any popular tourist destination in the Western Hemisphere, someone else has already done it there. The very stereotype of a street musician usually includes some kid playing Wagon Wheel or House Of The Rising Sun or a Bruno Marz song on a guitar.
Busking requires you to stand out. If you’re doing the same thing that everyone else does (and often there will literally be other people up the street playing a guitar) you have to be exceptionally talented to stand apart from the rest. I don’t care how good you are, some people will immediately discount you for playing guitar, because they’ve seen a hundred other people in that same spot playing that same instrument before you. Now, sit down with a really well played accordion, or a sitar, or a monkey playing a tiny organ, and you’re going to offer something novel and compelling. This element alone made carrying that persnickety hunk of metal worth it.
Thanks to a foundation in Aural Skills and Ear Training, combined with years of practice in the street, I
As far as actually taking care of my instruments, I’ll admit my track record isn’t great. That high-end, $5000+ Yamaha I mentioned earlier? The one I’d played all the way through college? I left it in a friend’s car in downtown San Francisco. She parked and we went on some hectic mission, and we came back later to shattered glass all over the pavement. No mo saxobro. I had another horn stolen in New Orleans, out of a stash spot that I wrongly assumed was undiscovered. What about a smaller Soprano saxophone? Got stepped on at an outdoor mountain rave. I eventually learned a super important lesson: a cheap instrument that is diligently cared for will serve you far better than an expensive instrument that is neglected and abused.
Maintaining your instrument is part of playing your instrument. Caring for an instrument takes time and energy. While traveling, a well-maintained, cheap, beginner-level instrument is a way better idea than an expensive, delicate, high-quality instrument. Take the time to learn a little bit about how to do basic repairs. For most people that means learn to change the strings on your guitar. You will pop strings, it’s inevitable. For horn players, that means swabbing out your horn every time after you’re done playing. It also means not playing right after eating/drinking sugary drinks (including booze.) If you rely on digital tech to make your sound, stock extra batteries, do the updates and software maintenance that you should, and have a backup plan for when you experience technical failure in front of an audience. As with any other aspect of traveling, developing and holding to routines will allow you to keep doing your thing for miles and miles.

Lugging the damn thing

My number one recommendation for carrying a musical anything is to find a way to carry it without using your hands. What I mean is find some way to attach your gear to yourself. It might not make sense that you need your hands free just to walk around, but trust me when I say that you do. Try getting on the subway with a banjo in one hand. Try bushwhacking through the woods while holding a snare drum. Try looking tough, ready to draw a weapon in a sketchy situation, when you’re fumbling around with your ukulele. Needless to say, hopping a train requires two hands free.
As far as how exactly to attach your precious music maker to yourself is going to be something you’ll have to figure out yourself. I can give you a few tips from my own experience. As a general rule, if your instrument is small enough, it’s a good idea to put it in or strap it onto your backpack. If you have a good hiking or military pack, the suspension system there is designed to carry and distribute weight well. Rather than messing with an additional strap for your instrument, it might be best to let your backpack carry the weight.
Guitars and similarly shaped instruments are kind of awkward to carry around, until you figure out how best to do it. I wrote about it here, check it out!
Everyone has a method. I’m curious to hear what the community has to offer on this one.
I’ll leave you with one great memory of a traveler who stands way out to me. It was in Santa Maria, CA and I had been hanging around downtown for a couple days, waiting to play a gig at a brewery with a friend who lived there in town. I had tried playing the mall, the cute breakfast spot, the parking structure, the coffee shop by the park, and after only marginal success, I dumpster dove a couple books and sat down on a park bench to read. After a few minutes, there came a strange sound floating down the street. Through the din of traffic and Thursday afternoon pedestrans, it was hard to tell what I was hearing, but something compelled me enough to get up, haul my gear onto my back, and walk up the block to investigate.
The sound materialized into chords, electronically produced, played with chunky voicings, with the root always on the bottom. Someone was pounding out triads and wailing incoherently. The someone in question came into view around a corner. The heavily tattooed traveler before me was sitting cross legged with a full 77-key electronic keyboard on his lap, seemingly improvising music and lyrics. He had an old US Army Issue camouflage coat, and the white plastic of his early-2000’s keyboard was completely scrawled over with what looked like ancient Nordic runes in red Sharpie.
I sat and played saxophone with this wild new friend. A local homebum came and shared some weed with us. It was weird and beautiful. I think we made like $2. After we were done this guy says “I’m headin’ to Reno, brother!.” And walks off with this 4-foot long white plastic rectangle powered by like 8 D batteries hanging around his neck by a shoestring. I never saw him again.
Travel well, friends.
Peaceably,
-Tall Sam Jones
submitted by PleaseCallMeTall to vagabond [link] [comments]

:)

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And
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what time does hollywood studios park open video

Disney's Hollywood Studios. 9:00 AM - 9:00 PM. Extra Magic Hours 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM. Buy Tickets. Map Data. Map Data. Image may be subject to copyright. Terms of Use. Report a map error. January 5-11, 2020: Park hours extended to 7 AM (Previously 8 AM) Disney’s Hollywood Studios will also open at 7 AM on January 1 through January 4, 2020, as we previously stated. Additional changes to the operating hours of Hollywood Studios are possible, so stay tuned to WDWNT for any updates. Theme Park Universal Studios Hollywood is open all throughout a week. In general, Universal Studios Hollywood starts late in the morning and closes early in the evening. The Following Schedule differs only if a Holiday Comes in between Weekdays. Disney’s Hollywood Studios has issued a number of changes to their park hours in anticipation of Rise of the Resistance crowds. Since opening day, the park has been quietly opening around 6:30 AM despite officially listed opening times of 8:00 or 9:00 AM. To accommodate for crowds in the coming weeks, these opening hours have changed once again. Learn about the theme park operating hours at Walt Disney World Resort in Florida. i. ... Disney's Hollywood Studios Hours . 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM. Disney's ... To stop the session, click the X in the screen-sharing window at any time. At a minimum, if Hollywood Studios is scheduled to open at 8:00 am, we still highly recommend you get to the park by 7:00 am – 7:15 am to make the most out of your day. Right now there aren’t any SUPER early mornings on the schedule (6:00 am or even 7:00 am), but on the days that Hollywood Studios crowds were at the highest and opening at 6 am, we were recommending you getting there 1 hour ...

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what time does hollywood studios park open

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