Chapter One: Bozeman or Bust (lots of bust)
I had done it once again, like so many other years before, by traveling north to one of the harshest and coldest states that a hobo could possibly go to during the dead of winter, late-January 2021: Mon-fucking-tana. Or as the locals jokingly say, "Montucky". (edit: Shout-out to Montucky Cold Snacks, the cheap horse-piss watered down beer that is Montana's equivalent of Washington's "Rainier Ale" or Oregon's "Session Lager"). I digress.
If I was a goose, I'd surely be the Jonathan Livingston Seagull of the flock…the black sheep shitshow of a goose flying in the completely wrong direction at the worst time of the year. As forementioned, this was not the first time, nor second time, that I've done this. In fact, it's become a habit, if not straight-up routine.
Laramie, Wyoming circa November 2016. Glendive, Montana circa January 2015 Minot, North Dakota circa January 2014. Yukon, Canada circa November 2013. Bellingham, Washington circa January 2006. The list goes on, and on, and on…
And here I am. Bozeman Fucking Montana, circa January-February 2021. The locals say it's an unusually warm winter, which by Montana's standards might include 5 inches of snow in the afternoon and temperatures dropping below 10F degrees at night. However, according to the high standards of a low-class hobo born and raised on the Gulf Coast of Alabama, this weather is colder than a witches tit.
Now, that's not to say that I ain't prepared though. I assure you that I am. Sixteen years of living on the road and rails has made this black goose a well-seasoned bird, with all the trimmings. I have a military sleeping bag that can keep me alive down to negative 30 temperatures. My military backpack is waterproof, and so are the snowboarding pants that I wear under my insulated Carharrt overalls. I have alpaca wool thermal pants, merino wool socks, thermolite waterproof boots, thinsulated gloves, and several wool and polyster beanie hats. My dual-layer mountaineering tent can withstand hurricane-force winds and all the snow that a blizzard can muster.
Winter? Montana? Bring it bitch. Hit me with your best shot. You know I like it. wink
Sigh. However, DESPITE the freezing temperatures and shit tons of snow, there's a lil secret that I've learned during my many years of traveling, and that secret is certainly DUE to these wintery conditions: Jobs! Lots and lots and lots and lots of jobs! Jobs here, jobs there, jobs every-fucking-where. Hotel jobs, restaurant jobs, retail jobs, construction jobs, maintenance jobs, driving jobs, even jobs just to help other people get more damn jobs!
You want a job during winter? Well they got jobs out northern Californie way, Oregonie way, Montanie way, Washingtonie way, North and South Dakotie way, and every which way can go above above the Mason-Dixon line!
If you can't find a damn job in the Northwestern United States of America during winter, you ain't fucking looking, and that's a fact. If you got one arm and you can swing a hammer, or punch a number on a cash register, then consider yourself hired on the spot and you can start today.
Before this chapter turns into an entire damn book of its own (A Hobo's Guide to Finding Jobs) let's get back to the story here: Bozeman or Bust.
As I begin this chapter, I have a red-wine hangover that is enough to drive me to a bullet in the head. I made a pot of coffee only to puke it back up on my hands and knees in front the porcelain thrown. I think it was good ole Earnest Hemingway that once said "Write Drunk, Edit Sober". Experienced words of wisdom from a fine man that knew everything a man could possibly know about drinking shit tons of wine and writing shit tons of stories. I wouldn't be lying if I was to confess that Mr. Hemingway, along with Mr. Steinbeck and Mr. Twain, are drunken heroes of mine that I could only hope someday to sit alongside in the bookstores of Hell and Hades with a gallon of cheap Merlot. Salut, gentleman.
After puking, rolling cigarettes, drinking coffee, and puking several times more, I was finally able to sit down to try and remember what-the-fuck happened yesterday; a solemn meditation technique that involves tons of coffee and contemplation; a time to worship the asinine achievements that are accompanied in both rejoice and regret.
Yesterday started off sober as a saint. I had a job interview at this place I had found on craigslist, some place looking for fresh warm bodies to fill up their production-assembly line. I took a bus to the address they had given me, which ended up being the adress to the Bozeman City Bank.
"A bank?", I thought, as I wondered around the parking lot dumbfounded and confused for a solid 5 minutes, checking the address several times on my phone, wondering why on earth I've been sent to a state bank. After circling the parking lot, I noticed a door on the side of the bank that said "Job Choices Employment Services: Second Floor".
Godammit. I had been fucking conned. Fucking craigslist. I know what's going on here…this a goddamn employment agency that wants to take 10-15 percent of my paycheck, take away my rights to healthcare and benefits, in the so-called promise of finding me a "great career path of opportunity".
Employment agencies. Just like rats. The only "opportunity" here was them: Creatures of opportunity, parasites hellbent on scavaging peoples money and benefits. "A not-even-close-to-great career path of 9-5 slave-labor bullshit involving years of suckling away your mind, body, and spirit", the sign on the door should have read.
This was definitely a mistake. And anyone that has ever had the unfortunate pleasure of being with me can you tell one thing about me: I fucking love mistakes. I love making them, and I love learning from them. I am a walking-talking connoisseur of mistakes. In fact, I just made a mistake trying to spell connoisseur, so I asked Google "Hey Google, spell connoisseur", and due to lack of interpreting my Alabama accent, Google made the mistake of showing me the word Coitus. I have now learned that the word "coitus" is another word for sex. As a writer and the son of an English teacher, I love learning new words. As a human male, I love sex. So learning a new word for "sex" is a fantastic trade-off for that fortunate mistake!
I digress.
I decided to walk into the bank, up the stairs to the second floor, and down the hall to the employment agency. A well-dressed and very sexy debutant by the name of Tracy stood up and greeted me with a smile that was formal, professional, and admittedly very sexy.
While my dirty mind started playing cheap porn music, along with vivid images of me and Tracy wrecking that office like wild alleycats, I was suddenly snapped back into reality with Tracy's sexy voice, saying:
"Hey, you must be Mr. Huck! Are you here for the 3:00 o'clock interview? Could you please start by filling out this application? You can have a seat over at the desk here"…
Godammit. This employment agency was GOOD. I was Tracy's submissive little slut. I walked right where Tracy told me to walk, sat right in the chair Tracy pulled out for me to sit in, and I started filling out the application with the ballpoint pen that Tracy had somehow put in my hand without me even realizing it. Tracy could have stolen my wallet and the 11 dollars inside of it as well, had she wanted to, and I wouldn't have even noticed. And even if I had noticed, I would have let her do it anyway. Godammit!
As I started to fill out the application, I got to the section I dreaded most: job references. Oh boy…allow me to tell you a little about Huck's references, or lacktherof:
At my last job, I was fired because of a fight that broke-out between my ex-girlfriend and myself, which began with lots of shouting and shoving, and ended with me getting a black-eye from being punched in the face twice. Fun fact: Italian women are fiery as they are fierce, and bold as they are beautiful. And just like their male Italian counterparts, such as Sylvester Stalone or Al Capone, they know how to land a solid right jab. This fight erupted in the worker's dormitory for all employees to hear and see. And although I was the one with the swollen black eye, I was the one they decided to fire. C'est la vie, such is life. Que sera sera, it be what it fucking be.
We can scratch that job off as a reference, without a doubt.
The job before that, I was at a marijuana farm called "Great American Cannabis", in which my managers and co-workers tried to recruit me into a far-right group of sexist and racist baboons called "The Proud Boys".
There was a pre-determining factor in why that farm had hired me, and assumed I would be interested in their idealogical gang. That pre-determing factor was the very same factor that led Google to teaching me the wrong word and definition: my Alabama accent.
Great American Cannabis had hired me based on a phone interview, in which they assumed my southern accent indicated two things, in which case one of their assumptions was right, and one was wrong:
Assumption Numero Uno: Huck has an Alabama accent, which therefore indicates that he has years of experience working on farms, growing plants, and being an honest and hard-worker.
Assumption Numero Dos: Huck has an Alabama accent, therefore he must be idealogically aligned with far-right beliefs including sexism and racism.
Welp, I am proud to say that even that although a 50% winning percentage may be fine and dandy with gambling in Vegas, and can be seen as half full or half empty based on however optimisitic or pessimistic you might be, in the case of Great American Cannabis and The Proud Boys, those odds ended pretty badly.
As it turns out, despite being raised by a racist father and surrounded by bigotry in the not-so-sweet home of Alabama, those very dispositions made this black sheep child rebel from such ass-backward beliefs, and I am staunchly pro-civil rights, which means I am pro-immigration, and a proud supporter of the sufferage movement for womens right.
Obviously, that did not go very well with my co-workers at the farm, and I was fired within the first month. But wait, theres more tragic humor to the story of this farm, which I'll organize in two keypoints:
Keypoint Numero Uno: The farm was owned by Iranian immigrants. I…shit…you…not. That's right. YOU DID READ THAT CORRECTLY. Not only was the farm owned and managed by a minority group of immigrants, those very immigrants came directly from the very country is at the VERY TOP of White-America's shitlist: Iran.
Keypoint Numeros Dos: After I was fired based almost entirely according to my leftist and progressive views on race and gender equality, within just a couple of weeks nearly everybody on the farm was fired and replaced by cheaper immigrant labor in the form of Laotian women. That's right…a white-blooded American-born legal-working male, was replaced by brown-blooded, foreign-born, mostly-illegal-working females, on a farm owned and managed by right-wing racists and sexists that were anti-immigration. Once again, I…shit…you…fucking…not...let THAT shit sink in.
I literally cannot make this shit up, and let it be forever proof that reality, however tragic or ironic it may be, is far greater than fiction. You can write that last sentence in a letter, shove that puppy in an envelope, slap that bitch with a stamp, and mail it to the fucking MOON. Or you can mail it to Iran, or Laos, whichever you prefer.
However, I digress.
So, being that I was fired from Great American Cannabis by a bunch of Iranian Proud Boys, you can scratch that job off of the "reference" list as well. Sigh.
So, how about the job before that? Well, that's a hell of a story too, but I'll make it quick and cut shorter to the chase:
I worked on a fishing boat for a Mormon captain. Although I loved him like a Dad, and he often treated me like a son, my job ended in these words:
"Huck, I really like you. You're one of the hardest working deckhands I've ever had, despite it being a very terrible year for fishing. However, as a man that is a Latter Day Saint of God, as a Mormon, I'm going to have to ask you to leave because of three reasons:
1) You smoke cigarettes, marijuana, and drink alcohol and coffee.
2) You curse worse than a sailor.
3) You are an atheist/agnostic."
And in case you, the reader did not know: Mormons HATE cigarettes, marijuana, alcohol, AND coffee. They are forbidden to curse, and they are not even allowed to tolerate the company of anyone that isn't a believer in God.
Well Godammit. How in the hell am I so goddamn misfortunate and unlucky, to be the must FIRST FUCKING PERSON in the entire HISTORY OF FISHING, that has gotten fired for using curse words and drinking whiskey. I couldn't even absorb the fact that my boss was firing me because I couldn't get over the fact that I was possibly the first sailor or fisherman in all of ocean-faring humanity that had gotten fired for doing what sailors and fisherman are guaranteed and known to do best: drinkin' and cursin'
We can also scratch THAT job off the possible reference list as well.
It was at this point in the office of Job Choices Bozeman that the porn music had long since stopped playing in my head, and that I suddenly and swiftly fell deeply into a full blown existential crisis right there in Tracy's office while simply trying to think of a single reference from my last 3 jobs. The unbelievable amount of misfortune, tragedy, irony, and utter insanity of my last 3 job experiences had truly started to sink in, and I was beginning to legitimately lose my temporary grasp on sanity along with my faith in humanity altogether in one great, big, sloppy sandwich of existential fucking crisis.
Allow me to self-diagnose this existential crisis sandwich by peeling off some of the layers of this enormous stinking onion that is in the middle of it all: Either that curse that was put on me a few years ago by a Mexican trainhopping gypsy from New Orleans is proof that curses are indeed fucking real, or either I am the unluckiest son of a bitch on this entire planet that is so very unlucky that I am slowly (or quickly) coming to the conclusion that this entire life is a simulation that is programmed by some sick comedic asshole that specializes in the tragedies of both irony AND misfortune. And though some people in this world call that programmer God or Allah or Jehovah, I call him Jeff. I call him "Jeff in Programming", with same amount of disdain and hatred that Michael Scott refers to "Toby in Human Resources" in the American version of the show "The Office".
(Sidenote: If you do not understand my last reference because you have not watched The Office, then you need to stop reading this book right now, go sign up for one month of Netflix, and spend that entire month binge-watching one of the greatest sitcoms ever made in the history of television: The Office (US Version). Go. Now!)
I digress.
As I collapsed into a full-blown existential crisis while thinking of job references on the second floor employment services office above Montana State Bank, my fantasy-based relationship with Tracy was also about to crumble into an existential crisis as well, based on two very important qualities:
Quality Numero Uno: Tracy and I had no relationship that actually existed outside of my head and a stupid job application form. We had never knocked over all of the filing cabinets, water-cooler, or broken the copying machine with tantric sex. That scenario never existed period.
Quality Numeros Dos: I was about to not only lie, but also commit non-existent adultery to Tracy, thus putting a very real end to a not-very-real relationship.
I stood up from the desk that me and Tracy had never fucked on, and I told Tracy that I had to use the bathroom. And though I did really have to use the bathroom, it wasn't for the purpose of pissing or taking a shit, it was for the purpose of throwing the application in the toilet and sneaking my way down the hallway and out of the employment agency. In which case, that is precisely what I did.
Upon stepping out of the door and back into the parking lot of Bozeman City Bank, I noticed another hot little woman across the street: A dazzling red-headed freckle-faced damsel by the name of Wendy, who promised in her fertile bosom the birth of two-dollar cheeseburgers and loaded baked potatoes. I went inside Wendy's house, and began to have an oral relationship by penetrating my mouth with nearly everything that was offered on Wendy's dollar-value menu.
Stop here, acquire coffee, booze, and cigarettes until I feel like writing again, which may be later tonight, tomorrow morning, or possibly fucking never

 
First / Prev / Next
 
 
Alexa was sitting cross legged before Sassie, with Aiov lying casually on the German Shepherd’s back. She had a metal bowl in her lap with chunks of fresh meat for Aiov and cooked meat for her large canine protector. It had been a difficult time as the dog had missed Aaron more and more, to the point that she had begun to refuse food. Aiov's enthusiasm, however, seemed to help slightly in countering that refusal, and Alexa had found that feeding them together at least got some food into the lonely Earth ambassador.
She scratched at the dog’s head as Aiov happily chomped on another scrap of meat. “Look at that! You won’t be outdone by a leokit now, will you?” She placed a cube of seared meat before Sassie’s nose. She sniffed it twice before eating. “You’re going to be so spoiled by the time we get him back. We’ll both get in trouble.”
Aiov snuggled into the thick black and tan fur, using her paw to guide the next morsel into her mouth. Sassie managed a few more pieces before turning her head away with a grunt. Satisfied with what she had achieved Alexa gave a few more scraps to Aiov before placing the bowl into the recycler. The loudspeakers throughout the Rinoxian vessel blared a loud message announcing they had now crossed into Hive space and that their readiness was being moved to level three.
Her door chimed. Opening it, she found Allistan in his new Terran Wolves uniform. “You need to come quickly, the Porkchop Express has arrived.”
As she grabbed Aaron's old leather jacket, Sassie immediately rose to follow which caused Aiov to roll to the floor. "You come," she spoke to the dog, then turned to the distinctly unhappy leokit who had just lost her warm pillow. "You stay, sorry.”
They walked briskly through the corridors of the Rinoxian warship towards a secure meeting room which had two Terran Wolves outside the door. Their black uniforms and red collars were easily identifiable and they gave sharp salutes as Alexa approached. “I told you not to salute.”
The two guards lowered their hands sheepishly as the doors opened. Sassie immediately surged past Alexa to happily greet the returning crew members. She moved from Ranjaz to Jaym, receiving many scratches and hugs. Even Eruwenn and Cygna received a quick examination, but she soon stopped when no sign of Aaron could be found. The German Shepherd forlornly returned to Alexa's side as the Awakened took a seat at the meeting table. “Is the room secure?”
Cygna, now in a smart black uniform with white collar, stood. “We have taken additional precautions due to the sensitive information we will be discussing.”
Tilting her head, Alexa took in the Fae’Dan’s new clothing. “You’re one of us now?”
Eruwenn gave a slight chuckle. Aside from Alexa, she was the only one not in uniform. “She lost a game of dalcho, or two.”
“Seven.” Ranjaz said with a wicked grin. “Don’t worry, she’s actually been a fairly competent assistant. Aside from her gambling issues, obviously.”
Her head drooping to look at her feet, Cygna replied, “I swear by Tulseria’s right hand, I will get you back for this!”
The Kittran’s grin grew more predatory. “Wanna bet?”
There was a long table by the wall where Embar was fixing himself a drink, He turned, shaking his head. “I’m not sure I approve of your recruiting techniques.”
The Kittran shrugged. “She’s worth it – even broke the code on this.” He tossed the recovered device onto the table as Embar returned and took his seat opposite him. “And, you’re going to want a stronger drink, General.”
Curiosity piqued, Allistan took his seat, preparing his notepad and pen. “What did you find?”
Ranjaz was about to speak when Eruwenn held up her hand. “I think we should let General Embar read this first. He can take a moment before we all continue.”
Raising an eyebrow, Embar sat down in a nearby chair and connected the device to a non-networked datapad. “Why me?” He began scrolling through the files, tapping on icons and delving deeper. His breathing suddenly stopped, his face contorting. Disbelief morphed into anger, and as his body tensed, anger turned to white-hot rage. He placed the datapad down on the table before him and stood, walking back towards the drinks table. He lowered his head, his body radiating anger as his muscles clenched and unclenched, then raised his fist into the air and slammed it into the table. Bottles, glasses and everything else it had held went crashing to the ground as it buckled under force of his blow. “We’re going to kill every last one of those Sentinel bastards!”
No longer smiling, Ranjaz stood. “You’re Tulseria damned right we are.”
Jaym was sitting silently, but she pulled a rag from her pocket and dabbed at her tears. After they had fled from the casino she had tried to help crack the encryption on the stolen device. Part of her wished they never had, as its contents had disturbed her so much. Now that they had finally caught up with Alexa, Embar and the others who had been on the Rinoxian homeworld, she empathised deeply with the pain this information was bringing. “It’s so awful, I’m so sorry Embar.”
Eruwenn patted the young Arkellian on the shoulder to comfort her as she looked at the Rinoxian. “Please believe me, General Warbringer. The council knew nothing of this.”
Alexa picked up the datapad, using her nanites to more quickly access the information. She grit her teeth, biting back her anger, then passed it quickly to Allistan. “You need to read this. Then we need to plan our next move.” She looked at the back of the unmoving Rinoxian. “Embar?”
Embar slowly turned around, his jaw set, determination in his eyes. “We keep this quiet. We’re on an active mission and need everyone focused on the job at hand.”
Allistan went to click his pen as he read, but with a gasp the pen fell from his fingers. “We can’t keep quiet, the galaxy needs to see this.”
The Rinoxian nodded. “They will. When the time is right.”
 
 
It had been two cycles and the incursion fleet had advanced deep into Hive space. Over half of the force accompanying them were the Rinoxians under their new Galactic Federation commanders. There were over a dozen Galactic Federation ships along with six Gowe destroyers, and a dozen ships from other races including the Niham and Kah’Ree. Admiral Pelar, on board the Blazing Dawn, commanded four Ashi ships including the Righteous Fury.
The smallest craft by far was the Porkchop Express, a speck amongst titans. Its white painted hull, chrome bull bars and bright cartoon logo were a stark contrast to the military ships it accompanied. Sassie was more comfortable now that she was in familiar territory, and slept on a pile of Aaron’s clothes in his quarters.
Allistan and Alexa were sitting opposite Jar’Bek in his small office. The Ashi looked exhausted as he finally put down his datapad. “I’m sorry to have kept you.”
Allistan fidgeted in his seat. “Not at all, was that your mother again?”
Stiffening slightly at the use of the word mother the lawyer forced himself to relax again. “Admiral Pelar has informed us that they have been repeatedly scanned by the Gowe. She’s taking no action, as we’re supposed to be allies, but wanted you to be aware.” Alexa nodded and he continued. “When we arrive at the next system the commanders of each ship have been called to the Hooves of Destiny. Vice-Admiral Koo Ji has requested an in person meeting, with all senior officers.”
There were several pen clicks. “That seems unusual.”
Jar’Bek gave a knowing nod. “Extremely. To remove every ship’s command, behind enemy lines? It makes no sense.”
Alexa pushed her hair back from her face. “The Rinoxians agreed to it?”
The Ashi nodded. “Most of their command have been replaced. Anyway, they outnumber – and outgun – the other ships. Why would they be concerned?”
Allistan’s pen clicked. “They probably just put it down to Gal. Fed. protocols, or fear.”
Jar’Bek nodded. “They’ve had us stopping in random systems to scan. No doubt it’s to delay us, but perhaps also to lower the Rinoxian’s guard?”
Leaning back in her chair, the Awakened considered the options. “Maybe there's another fleet waiting to ambush us? Or following us?”
Allistan twirled his pen in his fingers. “No, no. All eyes are on the border since Aaron’s capture. It must be something else.”
Moving on to her next idea, Alexa asked, “Sabotage?”
The Ashi gave a chuckle. “That is Admiral Pelar’s conclusion. The Gal. Fed. officers have been on board the other ships, and the possibility exists that there are Sentinels working amongst them. They are all in command positions, and will all be leaving. It’s a logical conclusion.”
Allistan’s pen halted its spinning. “The Ashi ships, they can’t have been sabotaged, right?”
The lawyer nodded. “True, but, it wouldn’t matter. Their ships are old and have seen too much action. Those Gowe ships alone are more than they could handle.”
The Fae’Dan sighed and shook his head at the situation they were facing. “We should have brought more ships. The new ones.”
Alexa, staring at the ceiling, spoke softly. “No, we don’t need to show our hand just yet. But send word to Chae’Sol, make sure he has the coordinates.”
Jar’Bek nodded and made a note on his datapad. “What about the others?”
The Awakened closed her eyes. It was times like this she missed her human and his habit of taking charge. “Tell Embar to warn his contacts among the Rinoxians. The others… I have no idea, I just want to sleep.”
Allistan, a stickler for accuracy, replied, “I didn’t think Awakened slept?”
She sat up and gave a half-hearted smile. In an unusual moment of vulnerability, she replied, “I was told you can do anything in a dream. For those moments, we would all be together again.”
Allistan struggled to come up with a response to that, and the Ashi, having noticed this, stepped in to fill the gap in conversation. “We’ll find him. I can’t lose the most profitable client in the galaxy now, can I?”
Now past the moment of awkwardness, the Fae’Dan also answered. “I’m sure he’s fine. In fact, he’s probably already on his way back to us.”
Alexa gave Allistan a withering look. “You think he single-handedly defeated the Hive, stole a ship and managed to figure out how to fly it back here?”
The former Inspector paused to consider it. “No. It will most likely be something even more preposterous. Perhaps he married their Queen?”
The ridiculousness of the idea brought a chuckle to the Awakened. “Maybe. Hopefully nothing that drastic; he’d probably just turn their society upside down with some ridiculous scheme.”
Jar’Bek also smiled. “A little civil unrest, perhaps a few riots? No doubt with merchandise.”
Finally breaking into a broad grin, Alexa replied, “I think we all might be over-estimating him a little.”
 
 
Aaron stood in the trade area of Toivoa station with a contingent of Gardener Royal Guards behind him, Tsy’Lo by his side, and a very angry mob in front of him. Several well-dressed local leaders were dragged from the crowd to stand before him; Mycena, Tricinic, Procyon and a dozen other refugee races were crammed into the triple height area of the station.
One of the leaders staggered towards Aaron. “You! You caused this!”
Aaron, feigning as much innocence as possible, pointed to his chest. “Me?”
One of the Mycena he had met during his time on the station came forward. “We’ve all seen the videos! They kept us in the dark about what is going on out there! The Galactic Federation are coming! Our leaders lied to us!”
The accusatory leader, a Procyon with greying fur, pointed at Aaron. “Your... Your propaganda, has driven them mad! Your lies! They’re destroying the station!”
The human smiled and maintained his innocent expression. “My propaganda?” Several in the crowd held up datapads; Aaron’s smiling face was on every one. “Oh... that propaganda.”
Tsy’Lo tugged on his sleeve. “What did you do?!”
Aaron crouched down slightly. “Remember when I accidentally picked up the kids datapad and you returned it?”
“Yes…” The Tricinic flushed orange as realisation struck. “It wasn’t the child’s datapad!”
Aaron straightened up. “Yeah, thanks for helping bring down society.” He laughed as Tsy’Lo became a very opaque green hue. “Don’t worry, I’ve got an idea.”
The greying Procyon shook his fist at the human. “You better! They should throw you in a cage for the rest of your life for this. Hundreds of celes of peace, destroyed!”
Aaron looked down at the angry alien. “Your peace, not theirs.” He gestured back towards the Gardeners, and walked towards them without waiting for a reply. He raised his hands high, motioning for the unruly mob to settle down. “Alright, alright. Settle down, munchkins. So the wizard’s a liar? Welcome to reality. The Gardeners have been fighting and dying to keep you safe from the flying monkeys, while you all hide in your Emerald City and get on with your lives. That shit ends now. You’re crying out for change? Then welcome to the revolution, baby! We’re opening up the borders, we’re rejoining the rest of the galaxy! No more hiding!”
The crowd was already worked up, and cheering came easily despite the large lack of understanding. The human nodded — he was enjoying this far too much — and then gestured again for quiet. He spoke quietly at first, adding excitement to his voice as it built in power. “So prepare for a chance of a lifetime! Be prepared for sensational news!”
The Procyon official’s mouth opened and closed silently before he managed to shake his mind free of the initial shock of the human’s words. “No! Stop! What are you even saying?”
Aaron didn’t care about the official. He put the palm of his hand on their face, which easily dwarfed it in size, and gently pushed them slowly backwards. He then leapt up onto a crate; his showmanship on camera was nothing to his on-stage presence. “A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer, and where do you feature? Just listen to teacher! You’ve stagnated here for long enough. Lied to and kept in the dark, well, no more!”
The crowd was his, he knew it. The official knew it. Tsy’Lo knew it and was a nervous shade of blue. Aaron clambered from the crate to the roof of a stall, standing high above the crowd. The cheers followed every rambling sentence and, drunk on power, Aaron was loving it. “Spread the word to every planet, every station, every colony and every ship. Change is not coming, it’s here and it is now!”
The crowd roared again, and the desperate official turned to Tsy’Lo. “What in the nine moons is he talking about?”
“I’ll tell you what I’m talking about.” Aaron snapped. He stood looking out over the crowd. “I am the Ambassador of a world called Earth. I have taken ownership of a small star system that is being colonised as we speak. These colonies are a coalition of races, from within the Federation, as well as without. We rule ourselves, but have treaties and agreements with the Federation itself, as well as various individual races within it.”
Several questions were called out from the crowd, but one voice was louder than the others. “How does that help us?”
With a smile, the human walked back and forth across the roof of the stall as he spoke. “Good question my friend.” He pointed vaguely at where the voice had come from. “I do not have contact with my homeworld at this time. To ensure that all of whatever Earth has become would be included we put in place clauses for future territories, dominions, settlements etc, etc…” The crowd was quiet now, trying to follow the human’s explanation. Looking out at the blank faces Aaron realised he needed to get to the point. “Congratulations, you’re now a protectorate of Earth!”

He was met with utter silence. 

Suddenly, there were several angry yells from the crowd, some claiming this was a joke while others were simply confused. The official was the one who dared clamber to the crate below Aaron in order to yell up to him. “Are you insane?”
Aaron’s smile made Tsy’Lo shudder, as it was the same one he had given as he had explained his idea to the Gardener Queen. The human stepped forward to stand at the front of the stall roof. “I declared war on the Gardeners. The war lasted seven Earth minutes, and was quickly resolved when the Queen surrendered to me in person.”
Silence fell once again, and Aaron found himself half-yearning for the sound of crickets to emphasize the moment.
The crowd erupted once more, outrage at the ridiculous claims the strange alien was spewing forth. Tsy’Lo released a deafeningly loud harmonic whistle which was followed by another momentary quiet. They paled as the crowd's attention fell on them. “You need to listen, all of you. He is speaking the truth, sort of. He held the Queen and the Gardeners council hostage with a bomb.” Small grey particles filled the Tricinic at the memory of being used as a weapon. The crowd began to grow rowdy at this news, causing Tsy’Lo to let off another sonic blast. “It is all a human trick; once we are part of his alliance we fall under the treaties he already has in place.”
The crowd looked back up to the human. “Like I said, congratulations. You just walked in through the backdoor of a peace treaty with the Galactic Federation, and over a dozen separate treaties with other races.”
The crowd were now arguing amongst themselves. The official - who Aaron was now mentally calling Gobshite - once again challenged him. “At what cost, though? What do you get out of this?”
The smile of mischief once more graced the human’s lips and Tsy’Lo considered pulling him down from his stage. They had been on their way to the border when news of the riots on Toivoa reached them. Aaron’s presence had been demanded and he had happily accepted. The human looked almost as gleeful as that moment of acceptance when he spoke again. “Me? I get to go home. I get friends with big sticks. I get to trade openly with you, and believe me, I have a lot of crap to sell you.” He chuckled. “You get to be part of the galaxy again. You get to travel and trade. Our rules are simple and fair; everyone is equal under the law. You have exactly the same rights as everyone else who joined us. And the cost?” He paused for effect, making sure they were all paying attention. “You stand on your own two feet.” He glanced around, noting the sheer diversity of the crowd. “Or one foot... or four... Or whatever it is you’re balancing on.”
The crowd was a buzz of conversation, and Gobshite once again chimed in. “You think they’ll let us back without a fight? We can expose them! Those bastards tried to exterminate us!”
The crowd jeered along with the old Procyon. Aaron held up his hands. “Woah, woah. Only some of them. That’s the thing, there are a lot more members now. So here’s the plan: shut up. If you don’t say anything, they sure as shit aren’t going to out themselves, are they? While everyone is staring at the former Hive terror that they all feared, you guys just start working and trading, nice and quiet.”
A few murmurs of agreement came from the crowd. Gobshite, however, was more than a murmur. “You want us to forget our ancestors suffering?”
A little irritated, Aaron was more harsh than he intended. “You’ve wallowed in it long enough. Look at you, hiding for generations, keeping your communications to a minimum to avoid detection. Is this all some master plan as you build an army to seek revenge? Fuck no!” He saw the shame on their faces. “You’re happy to leave this status quo to future generations? You want to remember the suffering of your ancestors, fine, build a fucking statue. But don’t hold back your children to do it.”
The crowd were growing louder again as they discussed his words. “Look!” the human yelled. “I’m not saying you forget, or forgive. I’m saying you keep your mouths shut. We won’t announce your presence to the Federation. Instead, I want those of you looking to start something new to come join the new colonies. No big fanfares, just get on with it. In a place filled with different races, you’ll just be another stranger.”
He saw the crowd looking at each other, and knew was a lot to take in all at once. “We gather evidence, build trust. Get yourselves established, forge friendships and alliances, and become accepted as part of the new colonies. Let those in the know think their past crimes are forgotten. And when we are ready, we burn down their false history and anyone who tries to defend it!”
The crowd cheered once more, and Aaron smiled triumphantly down at Tsy'Lo as he leapt casually from the roof. As he landed, many hands patted his back and many questions were yelled, but it all ceased as one of the Gardeners stepped forward. It was Eridor, as there was no mistaking the red cape he wore. "We need to leave, the Federation have entered our space.”
Next

Hi everyone,
Writing this as a PSA because of the rampant toxic masculinity culture in the army, and I find it ridiculous that many continue to advocate it.
Disclaimer: I’m not saying that all NS experiences are bad, I’ve had many nice memories from NS too, but this is a topic that should be talked about.
I’m less than 100 days to ORD and serving in an active combat unit. I’ve been on both sides of the fence (done the full training program, gone for outfields, got IPPT Gold & Marksman, etc… AND also had multiple 84 days LDs, excuse RMJ, heavy load, upper limbs, long 4, boots, & lots of MCs during my time in NS) and 1 thing that really irks me is how commanders would define “being a man” because of the toxic masculinity culture in the army.
On a basic, superficial level: going for outfields, completing training, getting gold for IPPT, getting the marksman award, volunteering for guard duties makes a man.
And on the flip side, reporting sick & having long term medical statuses would then make someone “less of a man”.
In a more complex level: I also don’t understand why NSF & Regulars like encouraging toxic lifestyle habits like smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, getting wasted drunk and passing out on the streets over the weekends, hiring prostitutes or sleeping around meaninglessly with tinder dates, gambling their meagre NSF pay at illegal casinos or even something simple like needing to swear in every sentence or shouting when angry. (no, it really does not get your point across better)
Apparently when probed “why they do these” further, it is “manly” to do such things??
And the strange is: my whole company & possibly unit believes in this warped mindset and those “chao keng” people would often be bullied by the commanders. I wonder if this culture is the same for other units…?
So my point is:
Running below 10 mins for your 2.4km and doing 60 push-ups & 60 sit-ups don’t make you a man, it makes you an athlete at best.
BUT if you can take care of your girlfriend’s or wife’s physical/ emotional/ financial/ spiritual needs, raise your children in a loving home, support & provide for your family and pets, have filial piety, treat your parents & siblings well, be responsible and accountable to your actions, keep to your words & promises, plan financially for your future, get an education, develop & build your career, etc… (you get the idea) that itself really makes a man to me.
Girlfriends of NSFs/ Regulars, I’m sure it’s more manly if your man does these, no?
There’s also a common saying that Singaporean guys personality change the most (for the worse usually) during NS and I think I can see why now... it’s all these traits of toxic masculinity and the warped idea of “what makes a man” that slowly gets into them over the span of 2 years.
Honestly I am not surprised if there’s a correlation between the high divorce/ breakup rates in Singapore, the “my crazy/ toxic/ abusive ex-boyfriend” stories, the men objectifying women, uncomfortable staring in public/ molesting/ filming up-skirt/ toilet videos/ rape cases as seen more commonly in Singapore news recently AND the toxic masculinity culture taught to them in NS.
So PSA if you’re one of them: please stop espousing the toxic masculinity culture in NS and please take a step back and re-evaluate what truly makes a man to you.
Maybe it’s just that my experience is more unique because I’m in a mono intake unit, but I highly doubt it anyway.

• Since the recent news (Best of luck to Toast and his father!) I imagine a lot of the Broken Bonds viewers who want to get into more involved in Verum has increased, so I will attempt to give a small description of a few campaigns in relation to Broken Bonds for the Broken Bonds refugees who want to branch out into new campaigns. I will not be commenting on every campaign ever but I will comment on every active one(excluding one shots or things like the red star) and a few finished ones that are related to BB:
  
• This is the time that I would put a bit of a disclaimer for Strange Roads and the early parts of the Tops campaigns, in the early parts of these campaigns a player was revealed to have some abhorent acts that were brought to light, that player was removed from both Strange Roads and Tops campaigns, I will not be mentioning this another time but it is a disclaimer I thought was worth mentioning, but I urge you to not be dettered from these amazing stories cause of one bad apple and I would prefer if the matter was not mentioned again in this thread.
  

Gamblers Delight (11 episodes , 1 bookkeeping episode) -> Shadow of Tyre (23 episodes, currently ongoing):

• @CrikMaster aka Criken as Moe Kowbull
• @Strippin aka Strippin as Ahst
• @woops aka Woops as Raost Tredder
• @TheNo1Alex aka TheNo1Alex as Toot
• @goldentot aka Tate as Eustace
  
• This is the quintessential lore campaign, the Gamblers is the campaign with the fastest roadmap to get people kept up with the current lore and currently running events while also providing proper context and buildup, because this is the group that most likely uncovered that lore to begin with. The players themselves follow the name of the campaign to a fault, they are gamblers. If you liked E'ar hugging the maggot get ready for a whole 40+ sessions of that with these misfit pirates and their constant gambling of the world's fate. Shadow of Tyre has given to the world the fastest way of aquiring lore aptly naming the group the "Speedrunners of Tyre" for constanly completing everything quickly through gambles. The group dynamic is very cheery and jumps on almost any oportunity to do something great. I would recommend this campaign to almost everyone who is interested in the lore of Verum and likes people doing heroic things. The easiest way to describe them in one sentence is "Take a chance. Roll the Dice. Let it be a Gambler's Delight".
  

Gailen's Gate(39 Episodes) -> Soul of Tyre(21 episodes, currently ongoing):

• @shaken_im aka Sean as Braktor Ironbellows
• @surefour aka Surefour as Belanovan
• @ronniefilyaw aka WhompRonnie as Ozzie
• @invadercristi aka Miss Universe as Hackne Silvermask
• @SterLovesFood aka Ster as Gruff
  
• This campaign starts out as a city builder establishing a new city in the continent of Kalkatesh but their fate is rewritten as they follow their destiny to the Arcane Labyrinth to find the Soul of Tyre. The players are all VERY experienced both in terms of roleplay and battle mechanics, they have a past Seven from 7years7days as a player and that plays a lot to the dynamic of the group and the way they make decisions. This is a group that is very careful with the decisions they make and are very careful. It provides a unique way to experience the world since most of the time people are new to Verum and the way the universe works. If you want a campaign filled with lore and tense decisions focusing a lot on the green side of the pantheon of Verum and of course takes a very important role in the current storyline due to them being in the Arcane Labyrinth then Soul of Tyre is for you. Due to the tense nature of their enviroment and their decision making the campaign may sometimes result in characters arguing with each other for a lot of time, however when push comes to shove SoT always delivers with excellent RP, incredible tactics and overall smart decision making. This is the line that I think describes Soul of Tyre the best: "Because you could be right, our spark is fading. But the Seven will not die forgotten. I'm little more than a candle in a sea of darkness now, but before you snuff me out I will start a luminous fire. And now, you're going to witness me, THIS IS MY POWER TOO! And I'm going to show you EXACTLY WHAT THIS SOUL CAN DO"
  

Deals in the Dark(14 Episodes) -> Maw of Abbaddon(7 Episodes) -> Duality of Dragons(6 Episodes) -> Meaning of Madness(7 Episodes) -> Heart of Tyre(21 Episodes, currently ongoing):

• [REDACTED] aka [REDACTED] as [REDACTED]
• @NaomiOop aka Naomi as Neve
• @scottjund aka Scott Jund as "Rivitah or whatever the fuck name he has this week"
• @RussMoney aka Russmoney as Madd Morc
• @AMGSheena aka AMGSheena as Argh'xl Roz
• @SummersSalt aka Summer as Seren
• @msf_actual aka Snake as Ives Brightburn
  
• The late night crew, the Tops, the lords of Abbadon. They go by a lot of names and titles but if there's one campaign that adheres to the sentence "Hope is not so easily extinguished" it is the Tops. I'm gonna be blund. Nothing good ever happens to the Heart of Tyre, they constantly face worse shit and worse shit every week. Yet, every single week they overcome it , they strive forward no matter the challenge and the opposition. Whether it be through a lucky dice roll, fate or impressive stratergies , the Tops are the group that had me waking up my wife at 4am from me screaming "TOPS TOPS TOPS TOPS". Every single one of them having heroic moments all the time no matter the challenge. If you want the heroes of Verum, no matter their allegiance , no matter their alignment, for me Tops are the heroes Verum has. In terms of what the campaign entails , it goes from a faction building campaign into the whole storyline of the Arcane Labyrinth with a heavy emphasis on horror elements like Silent Hills and Resident Evil. If I could describe the group dynamic in one sentence is "For the planet"
  

Shattered Crowns Season 1-3:

• Season 1: 14 Episodes
• Season 2: 14 Episodes
• Season 3: 6 Episodes
  
• @MOONMOON_OW aka MoonMoon as Scrumpo
  
• @AdmiralBahroo aka AdmiralBahroo as Big Tree
  
• @Octopimp aka Octopimp as Huckleberry
  
• @JoeZieja aka Joe Zieja as Ikkar
  
• @SterLovesFood aka Ster as Guy
  
• The scattered clowns, a chaotic group, a lovable group, OH GOD WHY IS EVERYTHING ON VIOLET FIRE AND WHY ARE WE IN SPACE AGHHH!!!. The group that unleashed the Cacophonic Collective upon Broken Bonds, the group that started a TON of shit with the fireball incident. This is one of the if not the most unique and different campaign Arcadum has run on stream, ESPECIALLY after season 2, there's huge lore payoffs, incredible fights, the conclusion and start of multiple campaign expanding arcs and storyline in this grand adventure, spam your libidos and follow the clowns in their quest to save the universe.
  

A Tale of Two Towers(18 Episodes) -> Secrets in the Stone(11 Episodes):

• @Rhabby_V aka Rhabby V as Claw
• @DattosDestiny aka Datto as Dusty
• @BlessiousPlays aka Blessious as Elwood
• @Pterodactylsftw aka Pterodactylstfw as Gorrul
• @travel_danielle aka Danielle as Tirsis
• @Tiff_Tiefling aka Silvelle/Tiff as Ulm
  
• A campaign that gets derailed by A LOT and very often. They are in the middle of some of the most important events in the current storyline and hold the other piece of Zorro. One of the players is Arcadum's wife, a previous Seven and the actoplayer for the Astral Traveler, they have one of the best note takers as players who ended ascending his character to be a translator. If you're interested in the lore of Verum Secrets in the Stones is a must watch.
  

Death and Debts(11 episodes) -> Steel and Silence(2 Episodes, currently ongoing)

• @ProjektMelody aka ProjektMelody as Terryn
• @MomoMischief aka Momo as Vaeri
• @Bunny_Gif aka Bunny_gif as Madeleine
• @zentreya aka Zentreya as Zara
• @Iron_mouse aka IronMouse as Umi
• @_Silvervale aka Silvervale as Revlis
  
• Chaotic Horny. 2 word describe this group. These girls have a blast playing DnD and have become entangled in the main storyline as of their second campaign. If you want to feel nauseated from all the laughter and ways they find to break Arcadum then I recommend this campaign wholeheartly. DaD and now SaS were my main campaigns that I found solace in when things were going horribly wrong for the Tyre groups and all I could feel for 2 weeks was pure suffering. This is the most horny group you'll find in Verum while also having sprinkles of important lore. 3 words describe this grouip the best: "Bag of Nipples"
  

The Strange Roads(17 Episodes):

• [REDACTED] aka [REDACTED] as [REDACTED]
• @JesseCox aka Jesse Cox as Arcidamus
• @Gallan aka Bikeman as Gallan Troth
• @Timmac_ aka Timmac as Koordrin
• @dexbonus aka Dodger as Zackarius
• @Kelli_Siren aka Kelli as Mirage
  
• A campaign that was deeply interlinked with Broken Bonds, if you liked the Boys from the Valloween fight then this is where they originate from and Nox also appears in it having one of her most epic fights in Verum yet. A campaign of a group of adventures travelling from one end of Kalkatesh to the other. Along the road they encounter a lot of different storylines and obstacles they have to take care of, if you care abou Kalkatesh's multitude of different ways of living then this is a great campaign as it provides an example of a lot of it's cities cultures in one packed campaign. The group dynamic is heavily RP, the players are almost always in character. The characters from this campaign make multiple cameos in other campaigns a lot of the time , also featuring a Violet Eye and a lot of lore on the patreons of Verum and their nature.
  

The Tearing Veil (13 Episodes, currently ongoing):

• @sodapoppintv aka Sodapoppin as Flamewrath
• @KingVigors aka Vigors as Vim
• @DevinNash aka DevinNash as Wisp
• @surefour aka Surefour as Nidhogg
• @MOONMOON_OW aka MoonMoon as Angorn
• @roflgatorOW aka Roflgator as Raber
  
• The Unwise 6. A evil campaign focusing on a group of misfits following the commands of the Mad God Olokenhai. This is heavily chaotic group focused on doing evil acts to help the heroes of Kalkatesh against the ongoing plot in Orde. If you are into Town RP, political assasination, hobo killing, sneaking around and spy movies I would heavily recommend the Tearing Veil. The constant fear of their enviroment while combined with the unpredictable nature of some characters in the group makes a significant impact in the dynamic of this group with lots of yelling(in character , the players don't actually dislike each other, they're all friends). This campaign is marked with this quote "My only regret was not killing more of them!".
  

The Herald's Call (7 Episodes, currently ongoing):

• @jordanfisher aka Jordan Fisher as Riku
• @shroud aka Shroud as Midas
• @bnans aka bnans as Zada
• @alexiaraye aka Alexia Raye as Azylea
• @ShannonZKiller aka Shannon as Arienne Okash'd
• @Sacriel aka Sacriel as Archael Sunspear
  
• The Wise 6. The other side of the Orde struggle. This is the pollar opposite of the Tearing Veil group having a bunch of careful smart players that are very considerate in their decisionmaking akin to Heart of Tyre and Soul of Tyre. While being new to DnD they play very smartly and rp to a great level. I have nothing but good news to say about the Herald's Call, the only problem I've had with the campaign was a lore reveal for this campaign being in my opinion setup too early in comparison to the payoff of the other campaigns so I would not recommend watching this before catching up if you're currently watching any of the longer campaigns as this campaign and Weal and Woe are very frontloaded lore wise and reveals do not get built up as the players have to be caught up with the current events.
  

Weal and Woe (7 Episodes, currently ongoing):

• @feliciaday aka Felicia Day as Mara
• @Jae_Day6 aka Jae Park as Lily Pichu
• @justkeshi aka Casey Luong as Laius
• @poetristephanie aka Stephanie Poetri as Meni
• @clintonkane aka Clinton Kane as Barbie
  
• Newcomers to Verum with experienced DnD player Felicia freaking Day to play in what many of us call the "K-pop" group. I'm gonna be real, this campaign feels very homely to me, the variant mic quality , the dificulty to understand technology and the very different characters being in the same part feels distinctly like my games of DnD. This campaign is very frontloaded with lore so I would recommend waiting on catching up to the longer campaigns before tackling this, it has in my opinion some of the best maps Nurp has ever made and utilises maptools to a new extent of what Arcadum usually does. If you've watched the latest BB episode that dude Taladon, is who gives the Weal and Woe party commands and drives their cause, the main aesthetic for this group being movable objects and robots it feels distinctly different from a lot of other Verum campaigns as it focuses on the Folly of Maltos.
  

The Silent Knights(14 Episodes):

• @ObliviousVR aka Oblivious as Alyla Aurora
• @InvaderCristi aka Miss Universe as Jairx
• @MNaiade aka Mara Naiade as Rochelle
• @StarStainStuff aka Starstainstuff as Dr. Essler
• @AH_Faelyix aka Faelyix as Rainbow After Rain
• @__Mimiika aka Mimika as Nox N'varja "Nox" Ilven
  
• Nox's original campaign, it focuses on the Alice storyline and the creation of the before-mentioned silent knights faction as in the protectors of the dream realm. It originally featured a violet eye that was later retconned as the player couldn't play due to scheduling issues. Heavy lore campaign obviously focusing on the Dream , it's function, it's history, it's creation and it's protection.
  

Wonders Within (11 Episodes):

• @woops aka Woops as Inuchiyo
• @sh1nym aka Sh1ny as Clyde
• @Drekwiz aka Drekwiz as Derk
• @_AnubisX aka Anubis as Wokou Kaizoku
  
• This is a HEAVY lore campaign before this whole violet shit started happening and is very deeply relevant to the event's right now as much of the lore unpacked in this campaign has become increasingly relevant. Main theme for this campaign is the discovery and plundering of the great city Easmere and reestablishing it as a nation of Kalkatesh.
  

Ambitions of Avarice:

• The second hardest boss Arcadum has ever run on stream , the number 1 still going on, these characters are all max level living world characters with insane items.

The Dilating One:

• GLORY FUCKING SUFFER This is the hardest boss Arcadum has ever run on stream and we're currently fighting it.

The Traitor's Trial:

• If you're not fully caught up with the Tyre campaigns do not touch this. If you are, you know what this is.

Sorry for the essay. I felt this needed to be addressed. There's a 3 sentence TL;DR at the bottom if the essay is too long. I do hope you'll read all of this, however.
I've seen a couple of posts on magicfeedback involving a vanish of a card. I haven't commented on that sub, but both times the "move" was executed way too fast. It doesn't help that I'm a magician, but I believe even a layman would have at least been suspicious, and probably would not have been fooled by the vanish. One performance, maybe both, included a handwashing sequence. This is no good when I know where the card is to begin with.
If you want to be deceiving, slow down. Nobody knows that you're being tricky at the beginning, and even if you've done some tricks, they still shouldn't know you're being tricky because you shouldn't be telling them ahead of time what's going to happen. This is true for any trick you do. If you're vanishing a coin, slow down. If you're doing a card control (thinking of passes and shifts specifically), slow down. Speed draws attention, even if they're looking at your eyes when you execute the move. Your peripheral vision is best at catching quick motions, so don't alert people by moving quickly.
With a few exceptions, you should be able to do any move at any speed. Every action should flow smoothly within the choreography of your routine. (A single trick counts as a routine in this instance.) If the routine you're performing is intentionally fast-paced, then every move should flow at the exact same deliberate pace. If you're not intentionally making everything fast-paced, the same is true. Every move should flow at exactly the same pace as every other move. If your choreography calls for a rapid movement to interrupt the flow of the routine, that's fine, just make sure that you aren't making a move that should be done another way in the course of that movement.
I feel like an example is in order. Lets take the Biddle Trick and break it down in the context of this discussion. For those who aren't familiar, this is the trick where a spectator touches a card that is then shown to them without being removed. The deck is cut "estimating" the position of the card. A small number of cards are shown to the spectator, who confirms that you at least have the right card in the packet. The selected card then vanishes and appears reversed in the deck they are holding.
If I were to do the Biddle Trick and I was displaying the cards individually at a pace of about one card a second, then, for only the third card, I displayed the card very quickly (1/2 second pace, for example) you would immediately suspect that something was up. Also, if I were in a hurry to get rid of the remaining portion of the deck you would think something was up. A layman may not know what was done, but there's going to be some suspicion in his mind that you "did something" when the pace changed. However, if the entire trick is done at the same pace, nobody is going to suspect that anything happened.
One more example, the vanish of a coin via the French Drop. I can do the French Drop in a way that, even if I take 15 seconds to complete the move, I won't flash. Those who know the move won't be fooled, but they also won't see the dirty work. This slow execution is fantastic on laymen because it completely destroys the whole "Hand is quicker than the eye" nonsense. I can also do the move at great speed from start to finish, though I rarely have reason to do this. This would also be fooling to a layman, but it's not as impressive as going slowly. On the same token, if I were to do the move and approach the coin slowly, but the snatch it away at the last second with great haste, it won't matter if I flashed because you know immediately, layman or magician, that "something happened".
I think I can pretty safely say that all moves should be done with some kind of misdirection covering them. This is part of why slowing down works. There are moves that can be done while someone's burning your hands, gambling moves come to mind here, but for the average magician it's always better to do the dirty work when the audience thinks nothing is happening.
TL;DR: 1. Do your dirty work at the same speed as the rest of your performance. 2. Don't do your dirty work without redirecting attention with either rhythm, words, or eye contact. Multiple methods of misdirection can be combined for greater effectiveness.

Inspired by this post I decided to post a few excerpts about the various crimes you can commit as a Guardsman and their respective punishments.
As the Primer has A LOT of examples for that (29 in total), I'll have to cut a bit of content and will concentrate on the crime and it's punishment as much as possible. If you'd like to know more though, just ask ahead and I'll add some more text. Most of the crimes are pretty self-explanatory as well, so I only added in minor quotes where I deemed it interesting or felt it needed an explanation. I will also refrain from doing any commentary, I think most of the stuff speaks pretty much for itself.
Now obviously those rules in practice are probably more like guidelines, as we have plenty of examples of reasonable officers who don’t punish each and every infraction. In fact, going by the books and novels available, I’d argue those are the majority, while the hardliners are in the minority. But still, it’s fun to read about the theoretical punishments. Also, while only a majority of these will actually get you sent to a penal battalion, a lot of them end up with you being shot. And seeing how penal battalions are usually a death sentence, I assume a transfer to them can easily be substituted.

Disrespect towards an Officer “in word or action to an officer or anyone of higher rank”
Sentence: Shooting
Failure to salute an Officer “or anyone of higher rank”
Sentence: Flogging
Failure to salute the image of the EmperoImperial Aquila/Regimental Colours
*Sentence: “branded on the left cheek and court-martialled”
Striking an officer ”on any pretence whatsoever [...] or draws a weapon, or offers any violence against him”
Sentence: Shooting
Wrongs to Soldier, redress of
“Any soldier who thinks himself wronged by an officer and who tries to incite proceedings against them will be punished by a flogging from the officer in question, in front of the rest of the platoon. Officers are to be obeyed at all times, without question or reservation.”
Gambling
Sentence: flogging and incarceration for an unspecified time
Failure to carry out an order
Sentence: Shooting, “unless exceptional circumstances can be sited and proven”
Disobeying an order
Sentence: Shooting
**Ill-treatment or neglect of accoutrements
”through wilful or non-wilful neglect”
Sentence: Shooting
Wasting ammunition
“Any soldier who sells, or wilfully or through neglect wastes any ammunition will be sent to a penal battaillon.”
Duelling
Only valid for ordinary soldiers. Rules for officers “differ depending on the regiment”. Sending and accepting a request is just as punishable as fighting it.
Sentence: Death by hanging”
Fighting and brawling
Sentence: Immediate confinement and punishment as deemed appropriate by their CO
Disrespectful speech against the Emperor
Sentence: Flogging, followed by shooting
Mutiny
“Failure to report mutinous or seditious activity” is just as punishable as instigating or joining.
Sentence: Shooting
Intoxicated on duty
Sentence: Flogging, followed by shooting
Sleeping on sentry duty
Sentence: “Death in such manner as deemed appropriate by the commissar”
Leaving sentry duty without leave
In Cases “of urgent necessity (this shall be judged by the commissar)” not punishable.
Sentence: Shooting
Cowardice
“Any soldier who, in the face of the enemy, runs away, or shamefully abandons his post or guard, or induces others to do the like, or casts away his arms or ammunition, or attempts to take his own life shall be shot on the spot.”
Inflicting self harm
Sentence: Flogging, followed by flaying, followed by shooting
Compelling a surrender
Sentence: Shot at the spot
Disclosing watchwords or comms codes
*”or who presumes to give a parole or watchword different from the one he received”
Sentence: Bludgeoning, followed by hanging
Corresponding with or relieving the enemy
Sentence: Death by starvation
Crimes during insurrection
”Any soldier caught committing robbery, larceny, burglary, arson, manslaughter, murder, assault with the intent to kill, shooting or stabbing will be shot on the spot”
Crimes of fraud against the Imperium
Sentence: Shooting, “after rigorous interrogation to bring accomplices to the light of the Immortal Emperor’s justice.
Desertion
Sentence: “Shall be hunted down without respite and executed in any manner necessary
Not showing devotion to the Emperor or the Imperial Cult
“Any soldier who neglects to make benediction to the Emperor, or who wilfully ignores set timetables of worship to venerate the Immortal Emperor (times to be set by the commanding officers, in conjunction with the Ecclesiarchy) will be sent to a penal battalion.”
Worshipping false idols
“Any soldier found worshipping anything other than the Emperor or a saint of the Imperial Cult will be mind-scrubbed and sent for use in the workshops of the Adeptus Mechanicus as a servitor. This infraction includes verbal or written benedictions or setting up an unsanctioned shrine.
Heresy
“Any soldier who speaks ill of the Emperor, the Imperium, cites his loyalty to any entity besides the Emperor, defaces holy artefacts or buildings, incites heretical thoughts or actions, talks openly about forbidden subjects and generally behaves in a manner disrespectful to all that is holy and good will have his extremities removed and left to bleed to death, for the Emperor’s pleasure. The body will then be burned to ensure no taint remains.”
Harbouring psykers and/or witches
”harbouring or withholding information regarding one he knows to be touched by the warp”
Sentence: “will be whipped, have his eyes put out and the hung until dead. The Emperor will have his revenge on the unclean denizens of the warp.”
Dark forces and warp magic
“Any soldier who, through his own will or no, becomes touched by the warp in any way and becomes impure and a danger to security, will be the beneficiary of the Emperor’s Mercy.”

Your 14-minute Thursday report in 3497 words. Part 1.

anti-corruption: Defense Ministry official busted with bribery & tampering with draft during war

NSS report says: a Colonel, who had oversight over subdivisions, received a ֏975K bribe from a conscript to transfer him to another location on Sep-13-2020. Part of the bribe was transferred to his online gambling account.
When the war began, a draft was declared and recruits began training at a location in Armenia. The Colonel took a ֏1.2M bribe from a soldier in exchange for not sending him to the front lines.
During the winter draft, the Colonel took a ֏5.2M bribe from another conscript and used his connections to send him to the desired service location. A similar ֏1M bribe was requested on January 6th from another recruit.
The Colonel took another ֏1.4M bribe to help promote a conscript and allow him to work at a hospital instead of regular service.
On October 22nd, during the war, the Colonel decided to help a friend move from bordering Khndzoresk (Syunik) hospital back to Yerevan. As a result, the clinic became understaffed and couldn't fulfill its duties. Moreover, the Colonel then helped the same friend not to be deployed on Syunik borders as a soldier and instead to handle tasks in the rear, on October 26th, in exchange for a ֏300K bribe.
On October 13th, during the war, the Colonel and his accomplices wanted to help a soldier to leave Artsakh. When they learned that the latter was already on the "deserted" list, they took steps to remove him from the list.
Then, he learned that his friends' sons received a draft notice, and use his connections to remove them from the draft list.
After the war, on Dec-13, a friend asked the Colonel to make sure that his son, who was serving in Lusakert, wasn't sent to the front lines. The Colonel contacted the Lusakert facility but learned that the soldier was not among those who were supposed to be sent to the front lines. Nonetheless, the Colonel decided to defraud his friend by claiming that "he took care of it", and received a ֏200K bribe.
The colonel and over a dozen others were arrested. Illegal weapons were found under their possession. The investigation continues to expose other possible suspects.
https://youtu.be/ifo13WJLpsU
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042334.html

bill: harsher punishment for treason, spying, espionage

BHK MPs drafted a bill to increase punishment for traitors, spies, passing of state secrets. They want to raise the maximum punishment from 15 years to 20-life. The authors explained the move by citing many media reports about alleged "treason" incidents.
The bill was discussed at a relevant Parliamentary committee. The chairman QP MP Vladimir said he supports life imprisonment as the minimum punishment. However, during the discussion, they agreed to settle on 15-20 years plus property confiscation, or a life sentence.
The committee found the espionage punishment too harsh and asked the bill author to reduce it from 15 to 12 years. The BHK author agreed.
The bill was approved unanimously and will be debated/voted on the Parliament floor later.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042354.html

Jalal is back with another position

The wounded ex-Artsakh army commander Jalal Harutyunyan will serve as the Republic of Armenia's Defense Ministry's Head of the Military Control Service. He will replace General Movses Mosi Hakobyan who quit on November 18th.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042353.html

Russian-Turkish ceasefire monitoring group begins operations

Russian troops are using ORLAN-10 and FORPOST drones to monitor Am-AZ troop locations and movements.
https://youtu.be/ToSLqUDj6OE
https://factor.am/335089.html

ECHR received Armenia's complaint against Azerbaijan regarding 228 POWs / Azeris counter-claim for 13 POWs

Armenian families submitted a petition to ECHR to require Azerbaijan to provide information regarding 228 individuals. Azeris want to know data about 13 people.
(From the language it is unclear to me whether the petition is for confirmed POWs, or it also includes families of missing soldiers who want to know whether their relatives are POWs. Likely the former.)
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042406.html

Red Cross visited 4 Armenian POWs in Azerbaijan

They were able to establish contact with families.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042428.html

Russia expects UNESCO to soon visit Armenian monuments that went under Azeri control

https://factor.am/335437.html

Russia removed tomato import ban on 13 Armenian firms

Russian regulator will allow 13 Armenian sellers to export tomato and pepper to Russia again after earlier finding a food virus in them. A similar ban was implemented against Azeri tomatoes.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042433.html

US Congressman demands an explanation from the US ambassador to Azerbaijan over "congratulatory" statement

Rep. Bred Sherman wants to know why the US ambassador to Azerbaijan Lee Litzenberger congratulated Azerbaijan's Economy Minister with "de-occupying territories and US's willingness to aid Azerbaijan with rebuilding those territories". He reminded the US officials that the US is a member of the Minsk Group and should take steps to ensure Artsakh's safety and prevention of a new war.
Bred Sherman praised Biden's appointee Anthony Blinken for stating that the US will review its military assistance to Azerbaijan after the latest war in Artsakh.
Artsakh MFA yesterday released a statement urging countries, officials, and organizations to refrain from such "congratulatory" statements.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042370.html

de-occupy Hadrut NGO

... aims to help 13,500 Hadrut residents who lost their homes during the war. It was founded during the war by activists who held protests in front of various embassies. In the early days, they received aid from President Sarkissian's office. The latter gave shelter to 25 families.
Today the NGO aims to help refugees with employment, while simultaneously lobbying for Minsk Group to de-occupy Hadrut so residents can return. "I hope that one day our NGO will shut down because Hadrut is no longer occupied," said co-founder Meri Davtyan.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042286.html

govt session: financial aid for Syunik border villagers

The government approved a new aid package for residents of Syunik's Shurnukh and Vorotan villagers. Those who lost their homes will qualify for the same aid package as Artsakh refugees: one-time ֏300K payment plus monthly ֏65K payments for 6 months. There is another pending aid package to build new houses for them.
Context: Two dozen houses in Vorotan and Shurnukh went under Azeri control because they were built on the Azeri side of the internationally-recognized borders.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042362.html

bill: disability ranking to be replaced with degrees of functionality impairment

The government approved a bill, yet to be approved by Parliament, to reform the disability system. The disability assessment process will analyze the person's level of functional impairment while taking into account surrounding conditions.
"Today, the system is run under a 1993 law that does not do a comprehensive assessment of the surrounding environment, person's ability to function in public life," says the govt.
The draft bill will repeal the 1-3 Categories and Disabled Child category. A person's functionality impairment degrees will be light, medium, heavy, or deep. Disability will no longer be considered a permanent health problem. The assessment will be based not only on the factor of health problems but also on the environmental factors of the person's activity and participation in public life.
Healthcare and Social Ministries, NGOs, the UN, and the EU worked together to create and test an assessment methodology.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042365.html
Tags: #DisabilityLaw #disabled

bill: require unknown Telegram/Facebook media channel owners identified before "linking" by mass media

QP MPs want to require social media channel operators identified before a "mainstream media" can link to them. It doesn't restrict citing "anonymous sources", however. It also requires outlets to disclose sources of revenues for transparency. Read yesterday's news for context and arguments in favor or against it.. The debate continued today.
QP MP Arthur: For example, a legitimate news organization with an editorial staff of 30 people generates information, holds interviews, etc., while a Telegram channel that we do not know where it is managed from and by whom, begins to disseminate sensationalized information and over time becomes more "legitimate" than real media outlets because media outlets "advertised" them.
This is also a national security risk because it is very possible that such sources are being operated by an adversary country to spread instability and an atmosphere of fear in the country. //
The co-author criticized the critics who "claimed that the bill intends to ban anonymous sources. That's not true. This also won't affect the protection of journalists' source secrecy."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042357.html
If you're interested in more debates:
https://youtu.be/MTHwRa4YjgY , https://youtu.be/ThDNVwZYEp8 , https://youtu.be/S6C_NocS9N0 , https://youtu.be/3_-i2Z23ubI , https://youtu.be/wiPnmfeLNJ8
Tags: #MediaLaw #TelegramLaw #FreeSpeech

rumors and rebuttals: Artsakh army isn't being dissolved

Serj's won-in-law Mishik earlier circulated rumors that were denied by state officials. Today, Kocharyan-ally Vitali Balasanyan, who serves as Artsakh's Security Council chief, confirmed that the army isn't "disintegrating." After the restructuring process, there will be subdivisions with professional contractors, he said.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042344.html

rumors and rebuttals: Azeri flag won't fly over Artsakh govt buildings

Vitalik Balasanyan also denied rumors about Azeri flags being installed on Artsakh govt buildings in Stepanakert.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042344.html

rumors and rebuttals: Azeri families won't resettle in Stenapakert / none are shopping in market

Vitalik Balasanyan said there are false rumors about two districts in Stepanakert being populated by Azeris, and Azeris allegedly freely shopping in Stepanakert market.
"Dear citizens of Artsakh, on behalf of the authorities of the Artsakh Republic, I assure you that despite the irreparable losses inflicted on us as a result of the war, the state is always committed to fulfilling its responsibilities to ensure the security and normal life of the population. Accordingly, I urge you not to pay attention to the false news. Everything is being done to create and expand the necessary conditions for a dignified life of the people of Artsakh."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042344.html

rumors and rebuttals: Artsakh envoy won't stop operating in Russia

The Permanent Representation of the Artsakh Republic in Russia will not be terminated, said the Artsakh govt in response to rumors.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042367.html

rumors and rebuttals: no single currency in EAEU trade bloc

EAEU would like to inform you that you've been misled about alleged plans to establish a single currency among member-states.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042427.html

location "Hollywood, Yerevan, Armenia"

There is a district called Hollywood in Yerevan, Armenia. Gamblers were caught running an underground casino in there. This is the second such bust in the past few months. The police say ֏5.5B in damages was done to the state.
https://youtu.be/sp0Sb--e_ms?t=60
https://factor.am/335320.html

anti-corruption: prosecutors charge education officials with ֏1.2B auction shenanigans

Prosecutors said: State Oversight Committee (SOC) audited the "National Center for Educational Technology" government-affiliated agency's finances between 2013-2020. Every year, the agency submitted a report on the work done by them towards servicing the education system. The bill was ֏700M annually.
It was revealed that between 2012-2015, they granted an auction-based contract to the same company. It received a combined ֏2.8B in funding. The law requires the auction-holding officials to examine the market and take other steps before the auction. They failed to do so.
Later, during 2017-2019, the same company was selected to do the job, but this time it was only paid ֏300-400M annually, far lower than during the previous years.
֏1.2B in damages was done to the state. A felony case is launched.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042389.html

re: Armenia's $750M eurobond sale / lowest % in history / $3B demand by investors / economy news

Read yesterday's news for context.
Pashinyan: The issuance of $750M eurobonds is a strong positive signal for the start of the economic year. The issuance was done under the most favorable conditions in the history of our republic, with the lowest 3.8% percentage rate. Our previous record was in 2019 at 4.2%. The demand was for $3B but we decided to issue only $0.750B.
First, it provides a guarantee of macroeconomic stability. Second, this is the first serious signal of overcoming the post-war economic shock, which shows that international investors have confidence in the economic future of Armenia and the policy pursued by the government. //
Economy Minister Janjughazyan: this was part of our long-term plan and we had planned to do it while drafting the 2021 budget. We planned to issue fewer bonds but decided to add $250M because of favorable terms. We plan to use that extra cash towards the stabilization deposit, as a safety pad, to be used throughout the year if necessary.
As long as our budget has a deficit we will have to borrow. But this is only part of the story; the country's overall debt burden is calculated based on various indicators. So far Armenia has been rated as a country with a lower debt burden.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042351.html, https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042352.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042363.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042393.html

how many people did leave and arrive after reopening air traffic with Russia?

The governments of Armenia and Russian worked on an "app" to allow mutual travel after taking a test. By February 15th, there will be 4-route flights in 2 directions. There were several flights in the past few days.
3900 left and 3400 arrived. 1423 Armenian citizens left and 1263 Armenian citizens arrived. "More people were willing to leave in December than today," noted Diaspora Committee chief Sinanyan.
"Some people flew to Russia but had to return due to a problem. This wasn't due to the COVID app implemented by us. Preliminary data shows that they went to Russia with a paper QP code which raised the suspicion of Russian authorities. We will work with them to resolve this," said Deputy PM Mher. (say what??)
"We need to better inform the public about the existence of this app. Restoring routine flights will help the tourism industry," said PM Pashinyan.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042358.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042383.html

Pashinyan about the suspended Amulsar gold mining project

He repeated his earlier position that "Decisions must be made that take into account Armenia's best interests."
"The mining industry plays a very important role in the development of Armenia's economy, including in the security context."
"We must make decisions to make investment programs acceptable for the Armenian public while taking into account interests of Republic of Armenia."
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042368.html

COVID stats

1829 tested. 147 infected. 352 healed. 11 deaths. 4637 active.
"We're negotiating for vaccines via COVAX global initiative. Separately, we're negotiating with Russia for Sputnik-V. Vaccines should be available in March. It will be targeted at specific groups. It won't be mandatory," said Healthcare Minister Avanesyan.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042341.html , https://youtu.be/vXz3pHx1BlM?t=92

the consumer market price increase in the past 12 months

Armenia's consumer market inflation was +4.5% from January to January. Food +6.4%. Alcohol & tobacco +10.8%. Clothing +2.6%. Utilities +0.6%. Appliances +5.8%. Healthcare +5.6%. Transport +5.7%. Telecom +0.5%. Leisure & culture -0.8%. Education +2%. Dining +1.6%. Misc +3.5%.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042323.html

Parliament MP stops a citizen's suicide attempt

Someone tried to jump from Kievyan bridge. QP MP Gor Gevorgyan was nearby and stopped the attempt. The police took the distressed person to a station.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042329.html

psychological support will be provided to war participants and the public

Emergency Ministry says 15-30% of people have PTSD after the war. Today the government approved a plan to provide psychological aid to war participants and others. The target group includes families of missing people, POWs and their families, those who received disabilities, families of those who died, those who fought in the war, IDPs, civilians who were affected in any way. The program will work in Armenia and Artsakh.
The government will purchase services from experienced mental health service agencies.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042403.html

Armenia will grow industrial marijuana on mass industrial scale / incentive to boost land utilization

Hemp is a type of weed that contains less of the substance that makes you feel high. The government wants to grow industrial hemp on a mass scale to boost mood land utilization and revenues.
Pashinyan: this is going to open room for many speculations. It's important to present the project in detail so the public will have a full understanding of what is being done. Unfortunately, "hemp" is interpreted as something else, while in reality, it is a very important industrial raw material. The growing process has risks but there are oversight mechanisms that have been tested in many countries.
Deputy PM Avinyan: the US, Russia, and China have a great experience with industrial hemp production. The practice was examined by the Economy Ministry. We're talking about industrial production only. It will significantly activate agricultural land utilization. Today, 40% of lands are gone unused. This is part of our plan to boost the production of high-value agricultural products.
https://youtu.be/ssZgr2DR3DM?t=7
https://www.healthline.com/health/hemp-vs-marijuana#marijuana
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042372.html

Education Minister says the "controversial" parts of Church/History merger were "resolved"

Education Ministry wants to merge the school subjects "Armenian Church History" and "Armenian History". Critics said it will shrink the church-related materials too much, others called it treason, while others supported the decision, stating that it's all part of our history and having a separate class is inefficient.
Education Minister Dumanyan says he met colleagues at the National Academy of Sciences and they resolved the conflicts "that caused a noise earlier." He will reveal details soon.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042379.html , https://youtu.be/V0sC3dx-gzU

Major education reforms: "education alone will not solve all problems, but there is no problem that can be solved without an education"

... said PM Pashinyan during a govt session while discussing education reforms. Kids in 1-5 grades will no longer receive grades; tt will be pass or no pass (still needs Parliamentary approval). "There will be a criticism. How can you not grade? But this is a comprehensive program that emphasizes the student's needs and preferences," said Pashinyan.
"We need to pay attention to how the time is spent in schools and what skills are being taught in school hours. It will reflect in our society 15-20 years later. It will define whether we have a technological product or not.
What we were doing in 12 years (school length) can be done within 9 years, but a 9-year school isn't the solution. Instead of shortening the school, we're trying to fill the gap in a way to have a 50% higher efficiency by the end of the 12th year.
In developed countries, education starts not from school but from preschool. The lower the education entry age the more developed the countries are," said Pashinyan. (the govt has a plan to make sure 70% of kids attend preschools by 2023)
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042394.html

cancer stats in Armenia / annual rate / drops among children / fewer abandon treatment

world
9.6 million people die from cancer annually. 1/3rd is possible to prevent. Another part can be cured with the help of early detection.
Armenia
Cancer was the 2nd leading cause of death in 2020. It has increased in the past 10 years but at a small rate. Lung cancer is more common among men, and breast cancer among women.
First time diagnosis by year: 2018 - 8762, 2019 - 7908, 2020 - 7050.
Deaths by year: 2018 - 5199, 2019 - 5434. 2020 - unavailable. (55% men, 45% women)
The cancer rate went up by 1.5x compared to 1990. However, it declined by 2x among children under 14yo.
Fewer people abandon treatment. 3 years ago 53% of lung patients did so, today it's 40%. Breast cancer treatment abandonment went from 47% to 22%. (I translated the word բարձիթողության as "abandonment". Correct me if it refers to something else.)
Artsakh
The number of cancer cases has decreased in Artsakh: from 345 to 260 YoY.
prevention
Oncologist Safaryan says the early detection helps to avoid complications and save lives, even if it's the type of cancer that is known to reappear. There are many patients who defeat cancer. "Smokers should get a lung x-ray twice a year. Those working in chemical plants should get a frequent screening. Do not ignore symptoms and չգցել ականջի հետև. You can defeat it more easily when it's at 1-2 stages. It's a lot harder when it advances to 4."
Preventing cancer isn't easy. The causes of this disease are many. Genetics, bad habits, obesity, surrounding environment. A genetic test can reveal the likelihood of suffering from illness. Some women choose to undergo a mastectomy to prevent possible breast cancer in the future.
"I decided that if 1-in-100 is destined to be cured, I will be that one," said Ashkhen, a woman who recently defeated cancer.
More: https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042291.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042364.html , https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042405.html

cancer diagnosis, surgery, and radiotherapy are free

The treatment was made free recently. The Oncology Center urges the public to get screened as part of an early-detection initiative. The pilot program began in Vanadzor; 307 women were screened.
Cancer diagnosis, surgery, and radiotherapy are free, while the medication has a co-payment.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042423.html

today in history

2004: Mike Zuckerberg founded Facebook to steal your SSN
1949: Sri Lanka declares indpendence
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042309.html

president meets donor

Artsakh president Arayik met donor Alec Baghdasaryan and thanked him. "Only with the joint efforts of the Armenian people is it possible to quickly overcome the difficulties and to plan development programs." Alec plans more charity programs relating to education.
https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1042326.html

donations to Artsakh & recovering soldiers

www.1000plus.am (recovering soldiers & their families)
www.HimnaDram.org (for Artsakh & Armenia)
www.ArmeniaFund.org (U.S. tax-deductible)

archive of older news

http://www.armeniapedia.org/wiki/Daily_Anti-Corruption_Reports

disclaimer

All the accused are considered innocent unless proven guilty in the court of law, even if they "sound" or "appear" guilty.

Cover || First
Previously
O-O-O
Author's Note: I guess it's a blue moon because here's your second chapter this week! This chapter and the next are both dedicated to my late grandma, who’s favorite time of year was Christmas. She loved spending time with her family and I hope to capture some of that spirit in my writing. Enjoy!
O-O-O
1510, 18 December 2252, Clarke Hotel, Von Braun, Luna
“You did WHAT?!” Sam’s eyes narrowed with anger as she looked at the three of them.
“I-I c-can e-expla-in,” Lian stuttered while trying to appear as small as possible..
Sean held up his hand in front of the trembling programmer. “I’ve got it.” Sean took a deep breath and began to explain, “Lian found some juicy intel about the PFS goons we faced in some hackable Gold Horizon comms. We wanted to blow the whole thing open so we went where there would be more details about this.”
Sam ran her hands through her hair and asked, “What if you’d gotten caught?!”
Ana replied from the corner of the common room, “Nothing good.”
“I know!” Sam’s voice was undercut with an angry growl.
Matt raised his hands “Look, don’t you want to know what we found?”
“It better be fucking worth it.”
Lian looked up and said with a wavering voice, “Y-yeah, s-so...the whole thing with Gold Horizon selling mech d-designs...that’s just the b-beginning. T-there’s comms logs with encrypted c-contents that went to the PFS.”
It felt like the room dropped below freezing as Ana asked, “Why would Gold Horizon be communicating with terrorists?”
“They happened a few days before e-each attack. I t-think...they’re working t-together or s-something. They d-didn’t even obscure the a-address.”
“No...that can’t be....”
Lian swallowed and continued. “I a-assume it gets even worse if you can see the m-messages, but I haven’t d-decrypted anything yet.”
“Fuck.”
“Th-that still isn’t the worst p-part. Around the s-same time, Gold Horizon was also r-receiving messages from...somewhere e-else, hidden. I d-don’t know who it is or what they said, b-but they look a b-bit like o-orders.”
Matt collapsed into a chair as the strength left his body entirely. “Who would even be able to order them around?”
Sam walked to Lian and loomed over the cowering snow leopard. She asked, “How well did you cover your tracks?” as her voice wavered with fear.
“E-E-Extremely. They won’t know what hit them...or even that t-they got h-h-hit.”
Ana growled as she clenched her fists. “We need to go public with this.” Her tail lashed like a whip behind her. “They can’t get away with this.”
Matt shivered and replied, “Ana, we can’t do that!”
“Why not? Blow the fucking top off this whole fucking thing.” She gritted and then bared her teeth as she growled.
Matt shot back, “Because then they know their game is up! And we might not have perfectly covered our tracks!”
“I c-couldn’t completely erase our presence there....”
Ana sneered at Lian, “Well then that’s y—” Sam grabbed Ana’s shoulder and pushed her into a seat.
“Ana, cool off please. One at a time.” She let go of the irate snow leopard. “Lian, what’s the next step?”
“D-Decrypting the data I have. I found the k-key generation program and grabbed th-that first.”
“Once you’ve done that?”
“We act o-on whatever is in the files?”
“Okay.” Sam took a deep breath. “Ana, it would be very unwise to make any of this public. It can be linked to us if they really try, and if we blow the lid off...they’re gonna try.”
Her claws dug into the chair. “Fine.”
Sam shook her head. “I cannot stress this enough. This didn’t happen. Don’t mention this to anyone that isn’t in this room right now.”
Sean lounged over the back of a chair. “Spy shit is a lot more fun when it’s fake.”
Sam exhaled and sat down. “Lian, is there some way we can secure our comms?”
Lian chuckled nervously. “I thought you’d n-never ask.”
“Do that. As soon as possible.” Sam sighed as she leaned back.
Matt sighed. “So, was this worth it Sam?”
“I haven’t decided. In the future, stupid...shit like this should be a unanimous decision. I’m disappointed you did it behind my and Ana’s back.”
Lian’s gaze sunk to the floor as Matt nodded. “That’s understandable.”
“I’m glad we know now, but we need to be careful. They can make us disappear...and that’s just Gold Horizon. Whoever is giving orders...I don’t want to know what they can do.”
O-O-O
0930, 19 December 2252, Ana’s Room, Clarke Hotel, Von Braun, Luna
Ana blinked awake with a shudder. The world had been upended entirely and she felt sick. She dragged herself out of bed and began the arduous process of making her hair and fur presentable.
She began to brush her teeth and cringed at the strong mint taste. She spat the foam into the sink and looked in the mirror. Her sullen eyes stared back at her. Something was missing. She shook her head and got dressed. At least her sleep had been peaceful last night.
Ana looked at her terminal. The conversation she had with Sam weighed heavily on her mind, possibly even heavier than the revelation that the entire conflict with the PFS was a sham. With shaking hands she snatched the terminal and began typing a message to Matt. She deleted the message a few times and retyped it.
Can you come to my room? I’ve got something I’d like to talk to you about.
A few minutes later Matt knocked at her door. “I’m uh...here.” She walked to the door and opened it, seeing her copilot standing there in exercise pants and a tee shirt.
Ana sighed. “Come in.”
“What’s up?” Ana shut the door behind him and tried to calm her storming emotions.
Ana ran her hands through her hair and shook her head. She sank to the bed with a sigh. “You’re too kind to me. I really don’t deserve it.”
Matt tilted his head slightly. “We have to support each other, or else we’d get shot down.”
Ana groaned as she looked down at her paws. “There you go again.”
Ana felt the mattress sink slightly as Matt sat down a respectful distance away. “I forgive you. I’ve got a pretty good idea why you were so...prickly back then. It can’t have been easy....” Losing your sister, she filled in the unspoken conclusion to the sentence.
Her spotted tail whipped behind her, one of the only indicators of her raging emotions. “It wasn’t.” Ana stood up and paced around the room. “You’re really okay with how I treated you?”
“I mean...it sucked. I almost quit, but I decided I wasn’t letting my chance go, and now I know what you went through. It won’t heal the scars, but it does make them hurt a bit less.”
Ana’s face flushed with shame as she sucked in a breath through her teeth. “Scars...shit. Did I scar your shoulders?”
“A little bit, yeah. You can barely see it unless you know where to look.”
Ana sighed again. “S...sorry.”
Matt nodded and stood up. “Have you had breakfast yet?”
“No.”
“Let’s fix that.”
O-O-O
Matt walked out of Ana’s room and into the common area. Ana grabbed a protein bar from the counter before sitting down on a couch and tearing into it. Matt’s stomach rumbled as he grabbed a breakfast pocket from the fridge. He stuck it in the reheater and sat down at the table. His model of the ROMEO stood complete, with cockpit hatches opened. Barely visible inside were miniscule figures of himself and Ana. The thought still brought a slight smile to his face in spite of the circumstances. Sean yawned as he walked out of his room into the common area, the sound of a flushing toilet echoing before the door slid shut.
Ana asked, “Has anyone seen Sam?”
Sean nodded. “Yeah, she went out to get some decorations. Said we were going to spice up the place.”
Matt took his breakfast out of the reheater and said, “Well bringing the Solstice spirit inside would help the mood.”
Ana replied sullenly, “Maybe.” Matt finished eating in silence then stared into the table. His terminal buzzed with a message. He pulled out his glasses and powered on the overlay. It was from Sam.
Could you guys come to the lobby? I could use some help getting some decorations upstairs.
Matt typed a quick reply and said, “Sam’s got the decorations in the lobby, she wants help to get them up here.”
Ana grunted as she stood up. “Fine by me.” Matt walked to the elevator at the end of the hallway and pushed the call button. Motors hummed above them as the elevator doors opened with a chime. The car descended slowly before the doors slid open again.
Matt’s eyes went wide as he stepped out of the elevator car. There was a colossal amount of stuff in the lobby. “Sam, where’s all this from?”
The lynx smiled weakly next to a container almost as long as she was tall. “I used to live here. All this was in a storage unit in case I came back.”
Sean whistled. “Damn, you must have had a big house.”
She nodded wistfully. “I did. Let’s get this stuff put up.” Sam waved them over and began directing them to carry the boxes into the elevator.
O-O-O
Matt looked at the decorated common room with a smile. It had taken the better part of a day, with a break for lunch, but the room oozed vaguely Christmas-y spirit. The entire room smelt faintly of pine, while a tall dark green tree stood in the corner, wrapped with multicolor lights. Holiday music rich in brass horns played from a speaker in the corner as Sam put the finishing touches on the table. A red tablecloth covered the cheap plastic table and electric candles flickered pleasantly.
Sam grinned, though something seemed off with her expression. “Good job guys. This really feels like home now.”
“Glad to have helped.”
Lian stepped into the common room and murmured, “Wow,” as his head spun around.
Matt gestured to the room and said, “Happy holidays, Lian.”
Lian grinned and replied, “You t-too.” After a moment, he coughed and said, “I’ve not been able to crack it yet. T-There has to be some vulnerability, s-somewhere.”
Matt patted the shorter snow leopard on the shoulder “You’ll get it eventually.”
“I have to.”
Sam walked over to them and said, “Lian, try and relax, this is supposed to be a break.”
Lian exasperatedly raised his hands and exclaimed, “B-But it’s an interesting problem!”
Sam sighed. “How much do you actually need to be by your computer for it to decode?”
“That’s...not important.” Sam motioned ‘go on’ as Lian sighed, “I don’t need to be there once it starts.”
Sam tilted her head and asked, “So why don’t you spend some time with us?”
Lian sighed again. “Fine.”
O-O-O
1650, 20 December 2252, Clarke Hotel, Von Braun, Luna
Matt grinned as his parents resolved onscreen. He had the time after helping Sam remove the storage boxes of decorations to touch base with them. His dad asked, “How’s it going, son?”
He thought for a moment and then replied, “It’s been okay, dad. My mech is in for repairs. We had to eject in our last fight.”
A few seconds passed while the data crossed the hundreds of thousands of kilometers before his mom leaned in and asked, “How bad was it darling? We couldn’t find any clear videos.”
Matt blew air out and chuckled. “You probably don’t want to know. The mech is in one piece...now...mostly.”
His mother’s piercing gaze still was effective from several light-seconds away. She asked, “But you weren’t hurt, right?”
“No. Nothing major, just some bruises from getting a bit knocked around.”
His mother frowned and shook her head. “This is why I was worried. Didn’t I say that Simon?” She tapped his father on the shoulder as she sighed.
“Yes you did dear, but we’re supporting him now, right?”
She nodded and asked, “Is your Ranger okay?”
Matt remembered her limp form curled in his arms after they ejected. “She...had a bit of a bad reaction, but I calmed her down. She’s actually...kinda nice when you get past her prickly exterior.”
His mother’s expression softened. “Well that’s good to hear.”
His dad sighed and asked, “You’re sure that you can’t make it home for Christmas?”
“Yeah, they’ve got us locked down because of the...recent PFS activity. That was who we fought last Thursday by the way.”
His dad nodded. “It was on the newsfeeds. We could barely see what happened.”
Matt remembered the nauseating spin that their mech had been left in before they ejected. He nodded. “Probably for the best.” Matt opened his mouth to mention the opposition he had fought and then thought better of it. “We pretty much...lost.”
“I’m sure you’ll do better next time.”
Matt solemnly nodded and said, “Hopefully yeah.”
Deftly changing the conversation, his dad said, “So you said you’re staying at Von Braun? I’ve got some friends there in the CLLSS department of dome...12? I don’t remember.”
Matt chuckled. “I don’t think your life support nerd friends are really gonna be the people I want to talk with here.”
His dad shook his head and tried to keep his grin from being too obvious. “I’m hurt, really.”
A message popped up on his screen. “Wait a second.” He opened it and quickly read it. “Sorry, I need to head out to get some groceries for the team dinner.”
“Good luck!”
“Thanks. I love you guys.”
“We love you too! Bye.” Matt smiled as he hung up the call. He took a moment to grab his backpack and a hat to hopefully disguise himself enough to avoid recognition. Walking into the common area, he passed Ana and Sam preparing something that smelled delicious. Lian waved awkwardly from the couch at Matt.
Sean announced his presence with an exaggerated, “Let’s go do some shopping!”
O-O-O
Sam sprinkled seasoning into the pot of broth. Ana had volunteered to help with the pot roast for tonight’s dinner. It was the perfect opportunity; just send the three men to get groceries and Sam and Ana had privacy again. The snow leopard was to her left and was chopping potatoes. Sam turned to Ana and said, “You should really talk with your family again, Ana. They probably miss you.”
The snow leopard quietly responded, “I don’t know if I can,” as she dumped a mat full of diced potatoes into a bowl.
Sam chuckled as she looked at the recipe in front of her. “You’re one of the strongest people I know. You fly something in hard vac expecting it to get shot full of holes. You can do this.”
The knife thudded as it sliced a few millimeters into the cutting mat. “That’s different and you know it.”
Sam asked, “Do you want your parents to lose both of their daughters instead of just one?” Ana gritted her teeth and softly hissed as her frown grew, baring her fangs.
With a wavering voice Ana said, “Stop. Just...stop. Please.” She put down the knife on the counter and stood in stagnant silence. Sam looked back to the pressure cooker. Ana walked away from the counter. Her voice was tinged with pain as she said. “I’ll do it. Just...stop.” Sam didn't turn around as Ana exited the room. She hoped that pushing that point would be worth it.
O-O-O
Ana wished the door to her room could slam. The lynx was right. Of course Sam was fucking right. She sank to the bed and grabbed a pillow to scream into. The soft pillow muffled her scream to a barely audible whine.
Ana picked up her tablet. Her hands shivered as she navigated to her chat application and opened the chat with her mother.
Mom, I know it’s been a wh—
Ana shook her head as she deleted the message. That wouldn’t do. She tried again.
Hello again mother, how have—
“No.” Her finger pressed against the delete key. She began to type again, her fingers flying over her tablet.
Can we talk, mom? I know it’s been a while. Just us.
Ana looked over the message. That would work. Now all she needed to do was hit send. Her finger hovered over the button, trembling. Ana sat there, frozen in place. With a grunt of frustration, she flipped over, driving her face into the bed and blindly stabbed at the button.
Her shoulders shook as she raised her head slightly to gaze at the tablet. A few minutes passed before the screen flared to life with a message.
Of course Kisa. Does now work?
Her mother was still calling her kitten. That was probably a good sign? She didn’t seem mad, but she could seem calm even when she was boiling with emotion. Ana’s stomach roiled with nervous energy as she walked to the bathroom. She needed to look a bit more composed. She ran a brush through her hair and combed her facial hair into some semblance of order. Ana walked back to the bed, and grabbed her tablet, propping it up on the small desk before sinking into the chair.
Ana took a deep breath before hitting the ‘Video Call’ button. It began ringing, then a few seconds later, the call connected. Ana recognized the room immediately. It was her mother’s reading room, on the second floor of her home. The dark faux panels provided a high contrast for her nearly white hair.
Irina’s muzzle warped a bit as she smiled. “It’s been a long time since we’ve talked, Kisa.”
Ana flinched. “Don’t call me that. I’m not a cub anymore.”
There was a noticeable time delay before she responded. “You’ll always be my cub dear.” She shook her head and laughed. “I won’t talk about work with you. Why did you choose now to call me, dear?”
Ana lowered her eyes to the desk and coughed. “I wanted to apologize.” She took a deep breath and steeled her emotions. “I failed to protect her.” Ana choked back a sob and whispered, “Sorry.”
Ana heard her mother gasp before she sternly said, “No. Absolutely not. We both know it was bad luck. Don’t blame yourself for chance.”
Ana shook her head as her eyes watered. “That random chance wouldn’t have happened if I was a better Ranger.”
As Ana looked back up she saw her mother’s expression soften. “Kisa...Ana. Don’t think like that.” She sighed, reaching towards the screen, as if to caress her daughter. “Thinking that way only leads to insanity and madness. You can change the past as much as you can breath vacuum.”
Ana didn’t say anything in response but weakly nodded. Her stomach twisted into knots as she asked, “Who hates me now?” As the round trip timer ticked down, she braced herself.
Irina’s eyes widened in surprise. “Hm? None of them do, Ana. They miss you.”
Ana went limp and flatly asked, “What?” It felt like there was a fight in her body and all the sides were losing.
“You’ve not sent messages or called since March. I don’t know how my daughter is doing.”
“Poorly.” Ana reached up with a shaky hand and said, “I’ve got to go,” before jabbing at the red button.
Ana saw her mother reach towards the screen with an open hand as she frantically said, “No, wait. You can’t leave yet.”
With a shiver Ana let a slight whine escape her mouth. “I...mom, I feel like I need to be sick.”
Irina reached towards the screen again before stopping herself with a slight sigh. “Nerves, Kisa. They will pass.”
Ana looked down, averting her gaze. “I’ve felt like this since Matt and I got shot down and...we had to bail out. I don’t think it’s passing.” She looked back up into her mother’s pale icy irises.
Her mother nodded sympathetically. “That makes sense. Would you like to know what helped me with feeling like that?”
Ana felt her eyes water. She had missed this. “Please. Anything that could help me.”
Her mother thought for a moment past the communication delay. “Find an anchor.”
“What?”
“Find someone or something that you can lean on. You need to weather the storm of your feelings, and it’s difficult to do that alone. Everyone’s anchor is different, and people can have more than one. Yours was Annika and you were hers. Now you need to find another.”
“Alright...I can do that.” Ana took shuddering breaths to calm herself. “How’s it been back home?”
“Oh it’s been pretty good all things considered. Your father blew up an engine test stand last month....”
O-O-O
1845, 20 December 2252, Clarke Hotel, Von Braun, Luna
Sam dumped the vegetables into the pressure cooker and pushed the lid down, locking it in place with a metallic click. Her tufted ears twitched as a door slid open behind her. That could be only one person. She began cleaning the kitchen’s surfaces, pretending she didn’t hear Ana’s soft footsteps coming back to the kitchen.
Ana said “Thank you,” so quietly that Sam almost didn’t hear it over the running sink.
Sam turned around and gently asked, “It went well?” Ana nodded. “I could use some help with the cutting mats. They’re a bit dirty, and I don’t want to stain them.”
Ana nodded slightly and said, “Sounds good.” Sam sighed in relief. The snow leopard seemed to be doing better. Her gamble had paid off. She didn’t like seeing Ana’s raw pain and hopefully, this was a step towards healing for the hurting Ranger.
O-O-O
Matt walked into the lobby of the hotel and asked, “Why did Sam send all of us out? It’s not like this is too much for two people to carry.” His single bag clinked with two bottles of red wine. “If I was careful, I could carry this all myself.”
“Many hands make light work. It’s what my grandpa used to say.” Sean was carrying a loaf of bread and gingerly held a whole watermelon under his left arm. Lian nodded in agreement. He was carrying a bag with a large package of chips and an imitation cheese dip.
Matt pressed the elevator call button and stepped in as the doors slid open. The elevator moved smoothly up. The doors slid open as the wonderful smell of Sam’s cooking hit Matt like a delicious wall. The aromatic scent washed over him in layers. As they stepped into the common area, Matt noticed something had changed with Ana. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was definitely something different with the snow leopard. Maybe it was her stance or something about how she held her tail, but he could tell, even when her back was to him and she was washing dishes.
“Ah perfect!” Sam held out her hands to Sean. “You were able to find a watermelon!” The redheaded man gently handed the round green fruit over.
“I almost dropped it when we were leaving the store.”
“I’m glad that you didn’t.” Sam laughed. “That would have been a bad loss.” Sam sat the watermelon on the counter next to a large dish and began to cut into the sweet fruit with careful motions. She said, “The roast is done, I’ll get it out once I’ve cut the watermelon. Feel free to seat yourselves.”
Matt sat down across from Sean and narrowed his eyes slightly as Ana sat next to him. It had only been a few months since they were constantly at each other’s throats. He much preferred this.
“Dinner is served.” Sam reached in and sat a large pot on a hot pad in the middle of the table. “If there’s no objections, I’d like to have dinner by candlelight.” A chorus of affirmative murmuring answered her as she dimmed the lights. Sean stood up to pour everyone a glass of wine as Sam moved the other dishes to the table.
The serving dish made its way around the table, each team member serving themselves a generous helping of the main dish. Matt stabbed a chunk of synth beef and a potato cube and placed them in his mouth. It tasted even better than it smelled. Rich, multi-layered flavor from all the components in the roast exploded onto his tongue.
Matt chewed the roast, savoring it, then swallowed. “That’s good. You’ve outdone yourself.” Sam smiled at the group’s appreciation. Matt tried to eat slowly, but in what seemed like no time at all, the food in front of him was almost gone, only a broth left. He served himself a piece of toasted bread to soak up the juices.
Sean laughed as he told a story to Sam. The contrast to the first time Matt had eaten dinner with these people was remarkable. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed even Ana had a grin on her face.
Sam looked around the table, and seeing that everyone was done with the main course, proclaimed, “Time for dessert!” She stood up and grabbed a stack of small bowls along with the bowl of pale red fruit. “Now don’t eat this quickly please. You’re going to want to savor it.”
Matt bit into a cube and tasted sweet juice spill out of the fruit. No wonder this is so expensive. “As far as first impressions go this is probably one of the best I think I’ve had.” In a few minutes, everyone had finished their deserts. Matt leaned forward to see if there was any watermelon left in the bowl. He leaned back with a disappointed sigh. Matt felt gas bubbling up from his stomach as he raised his hand to his mouth. After a quiet belch he said, “Great food Sam.” Sean and Lian echoed their own compliments, while Ana sat in contemplative silence. Matt noticed the flickering candlelight in her wide pupils before looking away.
O-O-O
Ana leaned back in the chair as she stretched. “That food was very well made.”
Sam beamed at the compliments. “You’re welcome.”
“Shall we have a toast?” Sean held up a piece of toasted bread in his left hand before chuckling and holding out his wine glass. The electric candles flickered, reflecting off the glass as Ana sat back up and raised her glass. Sean said, “To getting to the bottom of things.” Ana echoed the sentiment vigorously
Sean vaguely gestured to his left. Sam raised her glass and proclaimed with little time for thought, “To family.”
The table echoed Sam. “To family.” Sam looked in Lian’s direction. Lian waved his free hand at Matt frantically.
The human raised his glass, and said, “To friendship.” A connection formed in Ana’s brain with a flash. Matt was her anchor. He had brought her back from the brink. It had to be him.
Sean nudged her arm causing Ana to jump. She repeated the toast a few moments after the rest of the table. Matt looked in her direction, the flickering light reflecting off his brown face. Ana raised her glass and said, “To victory.”
Ana watched Matt nod as he said, “To victory.”
They all said in unison, “Cheers,” before beginning to sip their drinks.
Sam finished the last of her glass and asked, “Would anyone like to watch the Von Braun University Orchestra’s solstice show? It’ll be live broadcast in....” Sam checked her watch, “Seven minutes.”
Matt replied, “Sounds fun.”
Sean stood up and stretched. “I’ve gotta take a leak, I’ll be back in a sec.”
Ana blinked slowly and sarcastically said, “Thank you for the extremely important information.”
“I can get the d-dishes.”
Matt sank into the couch and looked at the vidscreen. Sam sat on the other end of the couch and began fiddling with the remote. In a few moments, a standby image with snowflakes drifting down occupied the screen. Matt watched Ana sit on a recliner a few feet from him and put the footrest out. Sean and Lian ended up on the two-seat couch a few moments before the broadcast started.
The camera focused on the back of a brown-furred canine man wearing a white suit and holding a baton. He raised his arms as the dozens of people in the pit readied their instruments. They launched into a slow tempo beautiful song.
O-O-O
2055, 20 December 2252, Clarke Hotel, Von Braun, Luna
As the final note of the final song decrescendoed into nothing, Matt yawned. “I think I’m going to bed.” He stood up and stretched, feeling his back pop. “Thanks again for dinner, Sam.”
“It was my pleasure.”
Matt turned on his heel and said, “Good night guys. Sleep well.” He opened the door to his room and slowly changed into his sleepwear. He sat on his bed for a few minutes, pondering the information Lian had found. The motive didn’t make sense. The PFS was violently anti-corporate, so why would they be listening to Gold Horizon? And for that matter, why would Gold Horizon communicate with a group that opposed their existence? Unfortunately, the programmer still hadn’t made any progress on cracking the encrypted data. Shaking his head, he got up and ambled into the bathroom. Matt began brushing his teeth before he heard someone knock at his door. He spat out the minty foam and walked to the door. With a press of a button, it slid open, revealing Ana in black sweatpants and light grey tank top.
“Hey, Matt.”
Matt furrowed his brow and replied, “Uh...hi Ana.”
“May I come in?”
Matt wondered what she was doing here. He stepped aside and said, “Sure.” Ana fell into his desk chair and rested her head in her hands. Matt shut the door and walked towards her. “Is something wrong?”
She raised her hand to stop him from getting closer. “I don’t know...I don’t think so.”
Looking at her slightly trembling form, he said, “It sure seems like something is wrong.”
She blew air out of her nose and took a deep breath back in. “I talked with my mother earlier today.”
Matt smiled slightly and asked, “How did that go?”
Ana shivered. “She misses me, and so does the rest of my family...but that’s not why I’m here.”
Matt swallowed and asked. “Why are you here then?”
“I used to lean on Ani when I was feeling lost. I...can’t do that anymore.” Ana took a few rapid breaths and continued. “She was my anchor. I think you’re....” Her volume fell off rapidly and she practically mouthed the last words.
Matt strained to hear the end of her thought in vain. “I’m what?”
Ana looked up and took a deep breath. “I think you’re my new one.” She sighed. “My new anchor.”
Matt tilted his head quizzically. “What does that mean?”
She closed her eyes for a while before opening them and answering, “You brought me back from the edge when we...after we had to eject.”
A vision of Ana’s suited body in the fetal position formed in his mind’s eye. “I remember.”
“You brought me from panic to...well...less panicked.”
“I’m glad to have been able to help.”
“I’m still...fuck, look at me. I’m shaking like a leaf.” Ana raised her hand and looked at it as it shook. “I’m still feeling...freaked out. With everything that’s happened I...I just feel so...scared.”
“I do too. These are frightening times.” Matt sat down on the edge of the bed. “Can I do anything to help you feel less scared?” Ana mumbled something with the word ‘hold’ in it, but he wasn’t able to make out much else. “What?”
“When....” her ears twitched profusely, “when you...held me. After. It made me feel safe for the first time since...then.” Matt’s face flushed with heat as he looked at the similarly embarrassed snow leopard.
“You...want me to hold you?”
“If that’s okay.” She quickly added, “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.”
“I’d be okay with trying that.” Matt coughed and added. “To make you feel safe again, of course.”
“Of course.” Ana stood up and looked around the room, her ears twitching every few seconds. “How would we...do that? There’s a bit too much gravity for me to float.”
“I can probably lift you pretty easily....you can’t weigh more than a fifteen-kilo weight in one gee right now.”
“Oh right.” Ana shuffled towards him and narrowed her eyes. “If I...hm.” She rubbed her chin. “Catch me.”
“What?” Ana jumped slightly into the air and curled into a ball before she started to descend. “Oh.” Matt stuck out his arms, wrapping them around Ana’s shoulders and waist respectively. He felt Ana relax in his arms as tension leaked out of her body.
A low rumble built in her chest as she said, “Mmmmm...this is nice.”
Matt’s hand began slipping up her body. “Uhhh...you’re not as easy to hold on to as a fifteen-kilo weight.”
Ana murmured quietly, “You could hold me on the bed....”
Matt’s face flushed again as he swallowed. Suddenly his mouth was very dry. “Alright.” He gently sat the curled snow leopard on the large bed and laid down beside her. “Where would you like me to—oh.” Ana pulled his arms around her abdomen as her tail rested along his leg.
Matt could feel her heart racing through his hands as she asked nervously, “Is this okay?” He felt the tip of her tail tap him on the foot as she tensed the muscles in it. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that it had a mind of its own.
Matt spat a few strands of her hair out of his mouth “Now it is.”
Ana turned her head and asked, “Room, could you dim the lights to ten percent?” The lights dimmed to near darkness as Ana shuffled back. She whispered, “I feel safer already.”
O-O-O
Next (Coming Soon)

The results are in for Match 7.
Espiritu was not okay. It had gone dark, and he was no longer certain what was going on around him. It was hard to stand, and he was hot and hurting, and the crowd and the calls of the content creator after every play were noise to him, in the Necropolis he had tried to make. He knew there were seconds left, now, and did not even know what was to happen.
So, into the void, he began to call out with his Stand.
“This is a waste of time!”
Hurt.
“You have been rash, and done no good, and you care even less than I do!”
He trembled, barely able to stand.
“You say you are preparing me, but you have done nothing but hurt! Nothing but take! You have manipulated some child to play with lives! You, foolish… You don’t even mean to give her what you promised in the end, do you? Only another liar, who thinks I need another problem, and has become one.”
Bang said nothing, wherever he was. Espiritu had hoped he was far away. The young man had been fighting relentlessly and calling it a lesson. If it was a joke, it only made the jaguar want to cry.
“Manipulated..? Is… Is this me?” Nebula spoke from her screens, whatever she saw clearly giving her pause, then.
“This is your stage. Your egoism. Your lie to harm and call it kindness.” The Stand’s voice was faltering, flickering.
Then, Nebula’s pep returned with a snap. “Oh, hey, look at that, folks and five-year-olds, it’s TIME!”
Airhorns blared, then, and Espiritu recoiled once more.
“Of course, you probably have working eyes if you’re watching this, so I don’t need to tell you who has the key! What a show, am I right?” Nebula said, some forcedness to her cheer.
I don’t care… I don’t care who won. This… This was a waste. Let it be someone else’s. Someone who is not doomed to fail… I… I simply wish to live. Is that too much to ask?
Espiritu gave a final anguished roar before, finally, the pain he had sustained had become too much. His legs gave out, and he collapsed on the steps of City Hall.
The winner is Espiritu del Alocatlal, with a score of 72 to Bang “Boogie” Bronson’s 71!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	Masters of Funky Action	13-17	A last-minute vote turned a tied-up match into a 5-4, and even under the circumstances, judges saw no reason to discount it. A disclaimer, though: we can only count votes if we see them, so sometimes it is possible for automod to give us hell. Let judges know in the future if you’re uncertain whether or not your vote was noticed and counted!
Quality	Black Hill Estate	25-20	Reasoning
JoJolity	Tie	24-24	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10	In the future, there will be very harsh penalties on anybody going over judges’ heads to privately press people to delete or change the outcome of their votes. Wasn’t anywhere else that felt like the right spot to mention that.

“Well, chat, sorry to say,” Evelyn pointed out, “but the audience favorite laser-artist couldn’t quite cut it! Laser collection is way too 2000s, especially without a good way to take back the key! And where oh where did Espiritu send that file?” She revealed her empty hands. “I don’t even have the folder anymore! It’s wherever he had it go!”
“S-so… In the end, my gamble didn’t pay off, huh?” Bang muttered to himself, walking closer to Espiritu as the floating triangle over his head faded entirely. He crouched over him, waving a hand before his eyes and realizing, quickly, that they were registering nothing. He had blinded the jaguar.
“Well… I don’t know that yet.” Bang stood, then, looking down over him, the artist himself sore and nicked up, but in much better condition physically. “You… Y-you might not know it yet, but ‘conflict’ like this… It is necessary, you know. It’s… I-it’s the only way any of us will see the end of this, by pushing one another through. I won’t be the last to scar you.”
Espiritu whimpered at that, and before Bang could monologue more, Wrenn Aflight’s singsongy voice piped in, “hey, Lou ran off to do something, but she wanted me to pass a message along, and like a good boyfriend, I agreed~!”
“Hm?” Bang turned his head slowly. “Wh-what could that-”
WHAP!
Wrenn’s Stand drove a rocky hand across Bang’s face, sending him hurtling into the pavement with some force and releasing a good bit of glitter. Tilting his head, he said, “‘and maybe don’t torture animals on a livestream!’ That was part of it too.”
Bang was caught off-guard, already worn and out of it, sneering the way of the others present and how the eyes and cheers of the crowd had turned on him from their peak. He needed to make a getaway.
“And Espiritu, if you’re listening… She’s sorry she didn’t stop this right away. She wants to talk later.” Wrenn gave a cutesy curtsy to the big monitors, then, adding, “hey, Nebula! Wanna collab sometime? We could play Fivetnite or Shoal Calibur Zero instead of all this!”
In her dimly-lit room, Evelyn Ensanar watched the strike with a snicker, then stroked her chin quizzically. “Whoa, pog! I make a face reveal and immediately get invited to collab with you… Well, better look out! By the end of it, I’m totally gonna be more popular than you!” That forced grin was becoming easier, as she motioned a neck-slitting. “So there! I’ll take you down on your own channel like a bitter rival, Aflight!”
“Heheh, you don’t stand a chance~!” Wrenn gave a cutesy wave, then, before the stream of city hall was cut off, and Nebula’s feed instead showed some console’s startup screen with the revealed user’s head in the corner.
Before Evelyn could continue, however, they heard revving outside, putting her headset down. “Just a minute, guys. Gotta check on something… I swear, if I got swatted…”
She looked past the curtain in front of the open window, then, seeing that pink-haired girl get off a motorcycle, Councillor Ray stretching his legs close behind. They’d clearly come alone.
I guess… Espiritu wanted me to have this? Ray pondered, looking over the folder. Lou had said that she’d realized where that stream was taking place… Somehow, and then led him there quick as she could, insisting to take the lead. My coworkers’ secrets are my responsibility… Why did that Slums cult have this, and how did Bang get it?
“Evelyn Ensanar!” ‘Lou’ Reed called out through cupped hands on the lawn, seeing the younger girl peeking through the broken window. “Come out, please! You don’t need to wallow like this!”
“…” Evelyn couldn’t help but snicker at that. This girl didn’t look too much older than her, and who the hell was she kidding? Of course Evelyn was happy, living within these four walls, in this home downtown. She’d just had her biggest event ever, and she was being downtalked by someone who walked out of it because a poor widdle kitty got hurt trying to fight someone.
“You don’t think you can trust anyone, is that it? Even now, after an older boy led you along, only to hurt people when you thought you wanted the same thing, some part of you is calling out, ‘this isn’t right,’ right? I understand… I’ve been through that! I’ve pushed people away because I needed them most! But… Don’t indulge the void, please. Don’t feed that worst instinct… I swear, if you come out, greet the world, it won’t tear you apart. You’re bright, you’re good… You can be you so much better, I promise you.”
Evelyn stayed silent through that, peering with one eye past the curtain. No… That totally didn’t hit the nail on the head. It was just a passing impulse, a joke on herself, the momentary urge to truly step out as requested. Who did this idiotic ‘Angel’ think she was?
Evelyn knew, in that moment, she would be happy like this forever.
She pulled away from the curtain, then, pressing a button, and shutters completely overtook every entrance to the house, gating her off from the attempt to reach in.
With a sigh and a shake of their head, Nebula laughed, putting her headset on and returning to her seat.
“Sorry about this, pals! Typical ‘cringeler’ behavior over that last big show, you know? But no more interruptions, yeah?” That smile grew even wider, even more comfortable, as the outside’s natural lighting dimmed to what faint flickers made it past the metal.
“Let’s game the night away.”
Nothing was gained from this event. No lessons were learned. Only hurt, and hope that maybe, the future might not be so cruel. More live-streamed intrigue waits in the wings of a televised fencing battle for the continuation of an entire team. There’s only a few hours left to vote in that as of when this post goes up, so get to it!
Scenario:
Midnight Sun College Town - The Streets Somewhere or Whatever. Late Morning
A light snowfall had dusted the ground all across the College Town, covering everything in a faint layer of white about an inch thick. People were selling hot drinks in the streets, kids were running around in it, tossing snowballs, and adults were shivering as they made it through their day roughly as normal.
One youth in particular walked aimlessly along a snowy sidewalk, shivering and shoving his hands into his pockets, feeling on edge as he watched his breath fog visibly in the cold air. At least he had layers at all, though it could have been leagues better.
It wasn’t something you would go for a long walk in the snow in, but William Eyelash wasn’t exactly prepared for his daylong errant errand to take him into snowy weather.
After all, it wasn’t snowing at all in the Slums, or basically anywhere else West of the Wormwood River. By all he could gather, it was just the College Town, and nobody in this city had even seen fit to remark on the odd sort of localization.
He had begun to make peace with Ocean Eyes not as some malevolent entity he needed to control, but as a part of him, an extension of himself, and it had indeed legitimately calmed the beast down somewhat, at least in recent days made the ferociousness of it all his own. He had thought that plenty, then, to live his life, only to learn the nature of what had last month defeated a coworker of his; a woman whose Stand, and whatever of her it represented, had become so misaligned from the user that it had actively fought against her wishes.
The thought of that happening to Ocean Eyes, of having even less control over this part of himself, brought a chill up William’s spine worse than any blizzard, so he thought that he might find something of worth to his desires there… Though he didn’t really have any particular plan, beyond ambling about, seeing what the most Stand-centric district of the Stand-centric city could offer, perhaps having a fated run-in with somebody who could give him answers.
“Snow looks… Nice, at least,” he remarked through a shiver, loving the way the settled white coated everything…
And then tensing up as, out of an alley, red stains of crimson passionate cutting spilled out abruptly over it.
Not so long ago, William would have turned away in abject terror from a sight like that, or if pursued, his Stand would have come out and made it hell for those who set him off. But he’d gotten some life-changing advice from one of the city’s worst serial killers, seen a self-styled aggressive villain literally set best-laid malicious plans alight. Even if there was danger here…
Maybe there was value in seeking it out.
He tensed, slightly, then, when he saw a man in an officer’s uniform, slumped behind a diner, hands hacked off, stumps bleeding, with cut after cut after cut in his body, eyes rolled back and bleeding from the tongueless mouth.
Grisly… William shivered even more, then, before realizing that there was a presence behind him, turning his head slowly with his nerves on high alert.
Standing behind him, smiling, with a strange-looking knife in hand, was a boy only a year or two his junior. He wore a green sweater with a yellow stripe across its center, which was stained red like his hands, and a pair of bright, cheerful eyes poked past his brown bangs, perfectly matching the smile on his face.
William could’ve sworn he’d seen him somewhere before. “Y-you… Did. Did you kill this man?”
“Yep!” The youth answered, twirling the knife around, pointing to the corpse and stepping on his fingers buried in the snow. “He was telling horrible, horrible lies about me, see… Said that I cut his hands off, that it was his fault that he died. Now, I know some people came back, but this is a man I’ve never seen in my life! He pointed a gun at my head here, said he wouldn’t miss when he fired so close, so I didn’t let him. Then, that lie about his hands, his death… I just made it true!”
William was confused, his heart rate skyrocketing at the casual way in which this boy paced around as he spoke, twirling his knife. But… He was threatened, by the sound of it, and there was a certain purity, honesty, in the way that he spoke. This mutilated officer had it coming.
“W-well… That sounds nerve-wracking. I’m, uh… Sorry you had to go through that.”
“Oh, don’t worry for me!” The youth reassured, “sixteen years in this city and counting, you get quite used to seemingly-fine people revealing their true, rotten colors, attacking you when they seem to play the part of something upstanding.” He tilted his head, shaking it. “I can’t stand it at all, but… It makes it all the sweeter to put an end to it, you know?”
“I… You’re talking about killing people, you know that, right?” William asked. “That’s… That’s something you can never take back. To put it so lightly…”
“Do you have a problem with that?” Very quickly, then, the youth was leaning up close to him, putting the knife near his flesh, and William tensed up, not wanting to hurt this kid as he teased him.
“L-look… If any part of me wanted to impede you, or stop you,” William answered, “you would’ve been dead before you could bring that thing close to me. I’m… Still trying to control an ‘ability’ of my own.”
“I see, I see… So you’re another Stand User!” The youth pulled back, then, clearly pleased with the nerve William had had to stand still through that attempt to terrify him, to shock him into action.
“What do you say we be friends?” The knife vanished, then, and he held out his hand. “My name is Jacob Brown, but you may call me a nickname if you’d like.”
William nodded, cautiously accepting and shaking his hand. “Jacob Brown, huh..?” He swore he’d heard that name around before. “Then, uh… I dunno. If you really want a nickname that bad… I dunno. Jack, maybe?”
“‘Jack…’ It has a nice ring to it!” The boy agreed, shaking his hand fervently. “And you?”
“Call me William Eyelash… Or, uh, any abbreviation, I guess, though nobody really does.”
Elsewhere in the College Town, at exactly the same time…
Jacob Brown was laying in a snowy park, looking up at the cool sky in the imprint of his own little snow angel, which he’d even made time to give little knife-shaped embeddings through holding ‘Megalo Strike Back’ at just the right angle.
His life had continued to go well, as it had been since that fateful day so many months ago, where he’d toned back his killing urges, had still not once taken a life since, so not to disappoint the promise he and his friends had shared with that long-dead artist, having since befriended others and learned more about the mysteries of this place.
Los Fortuna was nice… Nice as it was fleeting, and strange. Earlier that morning he’d literally danced between the border of the College Town and the Agricultural District, one foot in an inch of snow, the other on dry grass, then posed triumphantly for Richard Stone to sketch, flexing alongside that new Bert blob which Casey and he-whose-name-ruins-Jacob’s-mood had nursed back to health.
Just as he’d started to fondly recall that fine early-morning moment, a pile of snow blinked with a single black dot of an eye, then emerged from a snowbank just meters away from Jack, looking as though it had found something urgent.
“Oh? What’s that now?” Jacob sat up, adjusting his jacket, and walked towards the bank in question, clearing away its topmost layer with a single expert swipe of ‘Megalo Strike Back.’
A couple’s mangled, half-melted corpses spilled out in a goopy pile, then, reaching his feet in a grotesque entanglement which Jacob regarded with little more than a sigh, shaking his head. “Sloppy sloppy… Though, I feel like I’ve seen dead bodies like this on the local news…” He turned towards his team’s new cute mascot character, waving him off. “It’s been fun, little one, but I think it may be a bit spicy for you. Go back home and fix yourself some Oops! All Berries and cigarette ash in dishwater… With a little Neapolitan on top of course!” The white blob’s favorite… Though it only ever seemed to eat the vanilla and strawberry. More chocolate ice cream for Jacob, anyway.
With that, then, the odd proto-Bert slinked away through the snow, blending in effortlessly as Jacob, in turn, took on the part of a sleuth, imagining a cool hat and pipe and miming them idly as he prepared to look into-
Ah. There were footprints in the snow clearly moving away from the bank, deeper into the park. Jacob would start there!
A not-so-long trek later, then, Jacob found a tree, whereby the footprints had seemed to end, but he heard shivering, and then somebody dropping down not far behind him in a panic, trying to tepidly back away. Whoever it was, though, froze when Jacob turned his head and gave a smiling grin.
Standing behind him, absolutely terrified, was a boy only a year or two his junior. He wore a black bomber jacket with three blue dots going down the left arm and a singular orange dot over the right bosom, blue-dotted pants, and a t-shirt clearly stained either with sweat, melted snow, or both. His demeanor was a timid, terrified one, a pair of eyes like a cornered beast poking past his mess of black hair, perfectly matching the look of mortification on his face.
“Uh… I’m… Uh.”
“Pardon the intrusion!” Jacob said, cheerfully, “but do you mind if we talk a little bit?”
“…” The boy looked like he wanted to die a little bit, stepping backwards again.
“My name is Jacob Brown, and I couldn’t help but notice that pair of melted bodies a little ways back. Quite the conversation piece, don’t you think?”
“I… I-I.”
“Come on now, I won’t get you in trouble and leave you to hang! I don’t do that!” Jacob assured. “All I ask from people is ‘honesty.’ It’s very easy to tell the truth, I think, if people just did it. So… Let’s start with an easy question, to show I don’t mean harm. What’s your name?”
“Uh… Ell- I mean, Wil- uh…” The boy paused, as if not used to the answer he was about to give himself. “Eyelash… W-William Eyelash.”
“William…” Someone trying on a new name didn’t need to be a lie, Jacob understood. Just a new truth to get used to. “I’ll just call you ‘Billy,’ okay? Okay!” Jacob smiled, and before Billy could comment, continued, “how long have you been in the city? Quite the sight, such localized snow…”
“Uh… M-my whole life, basically… Look, please, just. Just leave me alone. Please, don’t keep pressing, I-”
“Billy, I’m telling you, I’m trying to help you out here! I know, not everybody can get used to their powers as easy as I did, and when you’re so alone all you can do is run out into a tree, clearly you don’t have anyone helping you through it! So I’ll help you.”
“H-help… You. You mean to say-”
“Yep!” Jacob admitted, head tilting and tilting and tilting. “Not so long ago, I killed people all the time.”
That was Billy’s breaking point, and he immediately turned tail and absolutely booked it away. Even a trained FBI ace probably couldn’t keep up with that.
But Jacob Brown was pretty good at running.
He skidded to a halt in front of Billy, putting a calming hand on his shoulder. “Hey, c’mon… Bodies aren’t that way. You’ll get caught if you run without cleaning up your mess, or be so focused on running you could trip and fall down an elevator shaft!”
That seemed to scare Billy into a sort of forced calm, just as a truly monstrous-looking Stand almost lashed out. There was an odd sort of soothingness to Jacob Brown’s confidence, it seemed.
“Let me show you how, now, alright? It’s easy when you know the trick! Then we can take a walk.”
Snowman Symmetrical Park (No relation to the park from the last scene)
Jacob led Billy by the arm through a particularly artsy snow-covered park, one with several mural walls, ponds, and most notably of all, an almost slavish dedication to every single corner of the place, already in the center of the College town and the Metropolitan area as a whole, being completely symmetrical in its structures.
“Nice place, isn’t it?” He asked, letting him go and catch his breath. “Professor York, I remember, talked about it once with Chef CaraMel, I’m sure you’ve had her stuff before… They were saying that there’s a sort of ‘meditative’ quality to this place, a nice place to stand in even spots and just admire the scenery. But also that people get really mad if you mess the symmetry up.”
“Y… Yeah…” Billy panted, looking around. “I know about this place, but I’ve never taken time to…” He looked around, then, standing and breathing through his nose. “You know, Jacob… You’re right. This, uh… This place isn’t so bad. And, uh… Y-you’re kinda sorta really scary, but. Thanks, for the help, and, uh. Not judging me for what I can’t control…”
“Oh, don’t worry about it!” He reassured with a smile, “you’ll figure it out in time, Billy my friend! Why, even just a year ago, I could still be quite sloppy when I-” He noticed, then, that Billy’s look had immediately become, rather than one of cautious relaxation, one that was more confused, more terrified than ever before, murmuring and muttering incoherently. “Hm? Something the matter, pal-o?”
“Me… M… M… Why is… No… Nonononononono what the hell what the HELL?!”
William had been leading Jack to much the same place, saying to him when asked, “I dunno why I thought to come here… I guess, uh, this Lou girl who I’ve met a couple times, she came by this restaurant I work at with this friend of hers I forget her name, and… I dunno. She said it was meditative, and I’ve got things on my mind too.”
“I see, I see… Heheh,” Jack chuckled, teasing, “I’ve been treating you like this cool older figure, but you’re still figuring everything out for yourself, aren’t you? Though I guess that’s true whether you’re seventeen or forty-seven, right?”
“Yeah…” William nodded, hands in London’s perma-borrowed jacket pockets. “Th-that is life… Isn’t it? You never really… Stop learning, or growing, and, uh, some parts of you you’ll be contending with for-” He stopped himself from rambling philosophically, then, seeing that Jack had careened his head to something in the slight distance, where the pair had been walking towards and William hadn’t been looking. “Uh… Something wrong, Jack?”
“…something is, William, yes,” the younger knife-boy answered, brandishing his Stand. “Something is… Sus.”
Jacob and “Jack” Brown stepped towards the center of the park, staring one another down in perfect sync, looking one another over quizzically, the latter and younger much more tense about it than the other.
“Your face… Is mine. But I’m not a twin, or a triplet, or even a funny sextuplet. I would certainly remember that.” Jacob remarked, leaning back.
“I understand now what that pulled pork sandwich I cut up earlier was on about, I think… Yes, it doesn’t take a Rick, or even a Morty to figure this out,” Jack retorted, brandishing his knife again. “He mistook and attacked me for something you did, after stealing my face!”
“I’ve done no such thing,” Jacob answered in turn, “I was born with this…” He produced his own Stand, then, a knife identical to his own. “And this is the ability of ‘Jacob Brown’ to prove it.”
“Y-y-you… You…” Billy, cautiously, chattered as he addressed William, looking him over after seeing the identical Stands. “Do you… Have ‘that’ as well? Haunting you… B-burdening your every-” He couldn’t even bear to say it.
William, on his own, might have handled this differently, but with Jack so close, he knew that lying would cause even more of a scary situation than telling the truth. Clearly afraid in his own right, then, he shuddered, nodding. “Y-yes… I have ‘Ocean Eyes’ as well. If… I-if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Nngnhghhghghhhh..!” Billy had already begun to clutch his fingers in his head. “G-getting worse, then… Getting worse getting worse gettingworsegettingworse… Even if I control it I’ll never control it. I’m… I’m doomeddoomeddoomeddoomed!”
“H-hey,” William raised his voice, “you don’t have to be, I promise! I… I-I have no idea what the hell is going on either, but trust me, you can-”
But William knew himself, and knew that Billy would not listen to reason. With a bestial cry, another ‘Ocean Eyes’ appeared, lashing out immediately at ‘Jack’ and attempting to spray William. He, in turn, panickedly yet deliberately summoned his own, instinctively thinking to nullify the highly acidic spray with a thick, viscous, protective material, and both ate one another, and nobody was harmed.
“My my, what troublesome friends we’ve made…” Jacob remarked, then, hurriedly grabbing William and attempting to pull him away behind cover. “But hey, I’m ride or die! If Billy is your enemy, then I’ll be too! Maybe we can sort this out if we live, ‘kay?”
Then, the pair booked it away, leaving William confused, and Jack turning tail as well.
“I won’t believe a word of that lying liar’s plan… That impostor has one of you too, William! C’mon now! Fall back so we can cut them to bits before they melt us! You don’t want to fall to an imitation of your own Stand, right?”
Imitation… Impostor… Is. *Is** that what’s going on here?* William pondered, falling back nonetheless to a safer spot, well aware that out in the open was the worst place to be when he’d earned Ocean Eyes’ ire. Looks like even the guy who looks like an older Jack is gonna fight, just… J-just because.
He shuddered, then, leaning into the back of a wall. It… I-it’s unavoidable again. Then… He shut his eyes. I see.
“True or not, the uncontrolled rage of ‘Ocean Eyes’… I can tell you here and now, Jack. That was me. So maybe… M-maybe this was fate too. To finally truly tame that savage urge… Y-yes. Ocean Eyes is my own.”
“Think, Billy! That power of yours is so, so strong,” Jacob pep-talked his new friend from behind the cover of one of the structures within the symmetrical park, “and like how my ‘Megalo Strike Back’ speaks to all that I will cut through, anywhere and everywhere… What does Ocean Eyes say about you?”
“Say about… A-about me?”
“Yes!” Jacob encouraged. “Make a statement to the world! Cry out in your voice! It can be anything, not just a blind anger that forces you to live deceiving yourself! I’ve killed many times, and I’m good at it, and not a sentence of that will ever stop me from doing good by this city, just as I promised! Follow my lead, and see for yourself what all we can do!”
OPEN THE GAME!
(credit to magistelles for the match art, here you can see the uncensored version of the art(CW: trypophobia)!)
Location: Snowman Symmetrical Park. A public park in the center of Midnight Sun’s College Town, and the Los Fortuna Metropolitan Area as a whole. Realized by Andrew Tiffany and his orange nephew, the place has an avid string of volunteers from around the district dedicated to keeping the architecture and nature of the place in perfect symmetry at all times, down to the last blade of grass and every inch of snow covering it.
It has snowed recently, but only in the college district, amounting to about 3 centimeters of snow covering the ground evenly.
Right now, however, it’s perfectly empty, aside from the four of you.
The area here is 30 by 30 meters with each tile being 3 by three meters.
The light blue shapes are 3 meter tall structures that serve as mural art walls. Each wall has some symmetric design. The darker blue hexagon is a man made lake/fountain that is half a meter deep. The green circles are 5m tall trees, their tops are lightly covered in snow and there are decorative ornaments hung on the branches.
MFA start at the bottom of the map, as represented by the two brown circles and GYS start at the top of the map as represented by the two white circles.
Goal: RETIRE your opponents!
Additional Information:
For this match you will be controlling two characters, both your own and a parallel version of your opponent. In order to win this deathmatch, you have to beat both people on the other team.
Players instinctively know who their partners are and anybody that tries to lie or deceive somebody on who they actually are will immediately be retired by both Jacob and his parallel self. This will be a loss for whichever side tries to pull that.
For character writing purposes, note that “Jack” and “Billy” are both exactly one year younger than Jacob and William, and recall being born and raised entirely within Los Fortuna. Despite this fact, the most important moments of their lives, with the exception of all that has happened since the latter two arrived here, met their allies, and began participating in the tournament, have more or less been the same.
Being younger and less experienced, Jack and Billy respectively have quickly formed a sort of trust in William and Jacob, and will follow their tactical leads and trust their judgment so long as it isn’t grossly out of character. Their appearances differ slightly, as described in the writeup, but statistically, they are completely identical to their counterparts.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Masters of Funky Action	Jacob Brown and “Billy” Eyelash	“Say, Jotaro. Do that special trick of yours.” This new friend of yours has a future, whether he realizes it or not, and you wish to see him grow by your side. Take inspiration from strategies and elements of previous matches featuring William Eyelash! (first) (second)
The Graveyard Shift	William Eyelash and “Jack” Brown	“People can do anything when their lives are at stake!” While you mean to overcome your own past, you care about more than your own personal growth here; you’ve also found some worth in the checkered history of this strange youth. Take inspiration from strategies and elements of previous matches featuring Jacob Brown! (first) (second)

Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!